Blow ya kisses all day

Hello there. Time is flying, it’s hard to believe that it is already the third week of November. Your stores are probably filled with Thanksgiving decorations (which I actually miss) while ours are already turning red and green. Jacinta is getting so excited for Christmas, especially when she sees the trees, garland, ornaments, and even the fake Santas.

We have had another relaxing week, with no playgroup, French class or choir to outline our days. I love waking up with no place to go although I do miss chatting with my friends. I am sure Jacinta would be happy to play with her buddies, but I love being able to focus on the girls and can’t do so with a full house. We moved slow, read books inside, even on beautiful sunny mornings, painted, created with play dough, packed for our trip, dressed up dollies, built towers out of blocks for the little wine cork animals, danced, drummed on our bellies, and sang. It’s nice to be out of voice because I can really hear the girls sing. I still had to keep up with the laundry and the cooking, but I’ll admit, I am an incredibly uninspired cook these days. I hear the inspiration comes back as the children get older. I feel like we should stay inside for some reason when we’re sick, perhaps because the out doors make you want to run and move fast. But I think I expend less energy outside because I am not surrounded by dirty dishes and unfolded laundry, but lush green foliage and colorful flowers.

On these lovely lollygagging days at home the only packing I do is packing water and extra clothes to head down to the garden. Packing and unpacking to go out is a big time investment for me. So I have welcomed the change, even if our seclusion is caused by illness. We watched our seeds grow each day and observed amazing insects in the garden. We jumped on the new stepping stones that Matt made with the girls. I discovered some hidden red pepper seedlings, which was one of the only seeds I could not successfully sprout. We transplanted those, sunflower seedlings, and lettuce seedlings. Jacinta’s love for the garden goes up and down, right now, she is on a high. She asks to transplant, and is learning how to do it very well. I am teaching her the few new tips I learned from my gardening class. She is shockingly receptive and quite eager to learn. She makes little stick fences around each seedling to prevent us from stepping on the tiny plants, knowing that Genevieve might tear them down. My effort to save certain plants from being squashed by little girls’ feet and turkeys claws uprooting them has been plant pots. I cut the bottom off of a pot and shove it down in the ground until it the plant is established. Although the pots are a bit of an eyesore, so far it is working out for the corn, zucchini and melon plants.

On the fruit front, our first plum tree and our nectarine tree are coming to an end. We ate a lot of the fruit. The bats had their share and we got rid of a lot to destroy fruit fly larvae. There is one plum tree left with fruit. Our apple tree was ripe and lovely on Monday when we discovered sweet apples and evidence of bat munching. We ate a few apples, picked a few for the house and rejoiced that they were ready, given that we had no clue they’d be ready so soon. On the same day, Jacinta discovered that the apple tree was climbable, so she sat on a branch munching happily away. Giddy that we had actually grown a good climbing tree, I started pruning, to make it safer and easier. That night the bats enjoyed my pruning job, I had make a lovely space for them to get in and eat all the apples, except for three. Jacinta has retold this story quite a few times already to friends, “Do you want to hear something REALLY sad?”


Genevieve got through her conjunctivitis in three days, but then I got a sore throat. Both girls were in great health by the time my immune system gave up. Two of Genevieve’s eye teeth came through, leaving two to go which cause her great pain and give her “the grumps.” Or so we think this is the reason for her snootiness. “MINE,” she yells nastily. Jacinta of course still reminds her that, “No Genevieve (in a calm voice), it is not yours. It is ours. Everything belongs to Mother Earth.” She says this with such a superior calm, as if she remembers this lesson every time she refuses to share with her little sister. Although I must say, Jacinta is increasing her ability to share, speak calmly and remember that she is older and should be calm and understanding with her little sister friend.

Genevieve, keeping up the reputation of a little sibling, has started crying wolf. While Jacinta is three feet away, she calls out, “Jinta hurt me.” Genevieve is getting to the age when I can bust her for things like that. As you can imagine, this makes Jacinta very happy, and restores her faith in fair treatment. Genevieve gets pickier by the day and lately, refuses to eat her meal saying, “no like it…..Pear!!!” She is trying out the power to refuse what is offered and demand fruit. Jacinta also loves to share the rules with Evie, “You have to eat your meal before you can have any dessert.” Jacinta then tries the same trick and I ask her what she just told Genevieve. The sheepish grin says it all. She loves knowing the boundaries and teaching them, but acts more her age when it comes to following them.

Jacinta is starting to realize the power she has over Genevieve. Evie almost always says, “Ah huh,” to every question, meaning yes. Jacinta constantly gives Genevieve choices, which of course, she can not answer. A child her age is not meant to make choices, it is not developmentally appropriate. So after four or five attempts, Jacinta picks the one she wants Evie to have and asks, “Evie, do you want the green one?” (Jacinta doesn’t like green.) “Ah huh.” Jacinta is also noticing how her little sister repeats everything she says and is proud. Jacinta says to Matt every day as he leaves for work, “I’ll blow you kisses all day long!” Now Genevieve says the same exact thing every time Matt walks out the door.

Matt has been going out the door to work all week, nothing new. He doesn’t say much about it, other than that it is busy and he has too many clients. This week he drove back and forth a bit more than usual and is tired of driving, taking clients to and from hospital. He does get insight into life at the end. He meets and assists all different kinds of people, which is interesting culturally. He did mention this week that one of the drugs that almost all of his patients take was first marketed as rat poison. Hmm…

Besides paid work, Matt finished his little storage shed, so he is now onto another project. Our garden/building shed is a bit of a wreck, too much stuff in a small space and with inadequate methods of storage. Matt is using a massive red truck tarp to increase the size of the existing tin roof and keep rain off the building materials. He cut weeds down with the whippersnipper for a few hours too. Friday night after work he came home from work and found us playing in the garden. So he dove into a half-finished project. The sandpit needed shade and the grapevine needed a trellis so he set a few long birch tree poles in concrete and screwed on four sheets of lattice. I dreamed this up a while ago, and am pretty excited to see the results. It adds another level to the garden, and of course, the grapes and the shade will be much appreciated.
Besides taking turns being ill this week, there were a few days when we were all well. These were extraordinary days. We were pretty lucky to have “Pa and Carolyn” stop in for a few hours for a cup of tea, to check out the garden, the new things Matt had built, play with the girls and even go out for Chinese food. They hadn’t been out since Genevieve was born, the mosquitoes scared them away. Luckily this year is much better on that front.

Today I took the girls out to Bellingen for the markets. It was a hot day, but we found some lovely Christmas gifts and fresh blueberries and peaches. We ran into a few friends and even met another French woman. Jacinta and Genevieve particularly enjoyed the music, the jumping castle, the smoked fish, and the swimming pool. My favorite purchase was a few old garden tools, in much better quality than what you can buy in a store. It poured down rain as we were leaving, a quick way to cool things off.

On Tuesday, I left the house at 4:45am leaving the girls in Matt’s care until 7:30 and then in Keith’s care for the rest of the day. I drove to Coffs Harbour to pick up a few kind refugees from Burma and Togo. I then drove us all to harvest garlic in Thora, a lush rainy valley of hippies, many of whom work, share, live and play together. Not only was it my first full day away from the house actually being paid, but I was surrounded by really interesting people, pulling hundreds of garlic heads out of beautifully fertile soil in a gorgeous valley. The harmony of the four different languages danced in my head, transporting me to a place I have never been before: in the beautiful isolated countryside surrounded by people from all over the world, something that seems to happen only in the city. I translated French into English so the locals could learn a little bit about the Togolese folk. I learned from the local Thora people what people talk about in a close knit community tied to the land: grown men discussing birds, chamomile growing techniques, sheep, soil health, and beer brewing. I chatted with my new friend (a former chauffeur) from Togo who sat shot gun, nervous that I couldn’t drive. We talked about African politics. We talked about vegetables, what they could not find here, and what they can probably grow here. I couldn’t speak much with the Burmese people, but we tried. Mostly, I just watched the woman as we pulled garlic together, mystified and in awe of her silence. I wondered how she was so good in the field, tried to imagine what her life before had been, and what was inside her silence as she stared off into the mountains. I love being at home with my girls, but the lessons I learned this day made all the effort worth it.

I have a lot to learn. It’s lucky they are twenty-four hours in each day. But the night is fast disappearing, so I will leave you and surely learn something as I slumber the night away. Good night.

Peace,
Shana

Derama Obama

Good evening my American friends and family. Out my window I see dripping tree ferns and lush green undergrowth in the last misty hour of daylight. It looks no different than it did last week, but much has changed. The American people (Matt and I included) elected a man that Matt and I really respect. He gives us hope for the future, rather than fear and shame. No matter who the president is, if you voted for the winner, it feels rather different than when you voted for the loser. The last time I voted for the winner I was nineteen years old and didn’t know much about politics, just how my parents usually voted. This time I was 31 years old and sat in a living room in Australia glued to the television on Wednesday between 11am and 4:30pm with my two little girls. The girls knew something had to be going on for their mom to sit in front of the television in daylight. Jacinta knew we were choosing a new rule maker for the USA. “Why do we want a new one? Why do you like Derama Obama better than the other man? Why is it just men? What is war? Why do they send people to other places and kill them? We don’t want to kill anyone or anything, do we mommy?” We talked about the fact that we do kill things, like mosquitoes, rats, mice, caterpillars, fruit flies: anything that destroys the things we need. We did not discuss why one would kill another human though, luckily she doesn’t know this happens yet. These were all very hard questions to answer in four year old terms and actually keep her feeling that the world and most of the people in it are good.

We danced the happy dance as each new state was called for Obama. Matt got off work early to join us, anxious all day that he was missing out. (The election has been a MAJOR pastime for Matt, so much that he is now searching other forms of entertainment). We had to take breaks for hanging out laundry, helping Genevieve go down for a nap and going to swimming lessons. But we made it back just in time for Obama’s acceptance speech, live, luckily. Seeing the new American President elect accept his new commission in my hometown in Grant Park was amazing, moving, beautiful. Of course Barrack Obama cannot save the world, or make the USA a place capable of taking good care of the earth and all of its people in just four years. But he can get us further than anyone else running for office, certainly with the help of all the people mobilized to elect him. He again used the word sacrifice in his acceptance speech. The strong African-American presence, standing alongside the newly involved youth, standing alongside the more “normal” looking political crowd: what a beautiful tapestry. The face of politics is changing. Diversity can only bring a more egalitarian, balanced government.

I am usually pretty optimistic and hopeful (Thank you Mommy) but not when I think of government. What has changed is that I feel hope not only in the little pockets around me, but also in a massive, powerful institution, the US government. It has the power and has, at times, used it to wreak havoc around the planet to secure its best interests. But it also has the power to do good, and has done so in the past. I won’t expand (you may breathe a sigh of relief), but just say that with sacrifice and creativity America can really do some good for the earth and the whole human race.

To top off the week’s excitement, the girls and I went out to Coffs Harbour on Friday to spend the day with our new Togolese friends. They are political refugees from a tiny French-speaking West African country. Of the family of six, we spent time with a lovely lady my age and her two sons, ages 3 and 5. For confidentiality reasons, I can’t give too many details. For me, it was like finding a part of me that only comes out in the presence of a strong African woman. I made a friend: the African mother I dream of sharing with my daughters. She has much knowledge and experience to share with me, as I have to share with her. She seeks understanding, a place in this strange city, community, and friendship. She did not choose to come here, but is grateful for her safety and the good, caring Australian government. She has good memories of her more distant past and found joy in talking about the trees and foods of her home. The girls and I knew a few Togolese songs, which our new friends happened to know. The mother smiled and transported herself home. She hummed the lullaby, wistfully translated the words from Mino into French and showed us the accompanying movements. She speaks five languages, but not much English.

Jacinta understands this not as “volunteer work,” but as making new friends. She tried her best to play with the little boys, but mostly listened, observed and stayed close by my side. Genevieve moseyed around in search of toys, food and fun, doing whatever everyone was doing. Jacinta knows that her job is to play and to help the boys learn English. She reminded me how to pronounce the name of their language, “Ewe mommy, they say Yehway.” Children rise to the challenge when given one. Jacinta was more patient and tolerant than I have seen her. She didn’t show much desire to join the boys until we had been there for a few hours. My girls and the boys had no language in common. The children interacted when drawing pictures at the kitchen table and also playing at the park. Although this was nothing like frolicking with her friends in the back yard, Jacinta felt the importance of this day somehow and actually wanted to stay longer than I expected. As we drove home, Jacinta reported that she had taught the mother the word “watermelon,” proudly demonstrating how she slowly pronounced it for her, “wah-ta-mehl-on.” Genevieve slept. This very different experience for Jacinta was just another place to play for Genevieve. It just happened to be a place where a lot of French and Ewe were spoken, and not much English.

Genevieve loves to play anywhere, but this week she has needed extra cuddles. Not only are her eye teeth coming through, but earned her first bee sting by grabbing a borage flower. Jacinta dove in as the helpful big sister, fetching things I needed for the sting (baking soda, cloths and ice) also adding in distractions. She kept the plums and gingerbread cookies rolling in and kept the drinks coming, all the while confidently assuring her sister, “That’s all you need Evie, ice and bi-carb, it’s going to get better.” She had splinters and got pink-eye. She then cut her foot on an oyster shell. Mary and Keith arrived home this week. In addition to the girls’ excitement to have their playmates back, it was really lucky to have their help with this oyster cut. Mary cleaned it out as well as she could while the rest of us distracted her with shaving cream. That night we did have the emergency room doctor take a look, just in case. The extraordinarily informative emergency room doctor reassured us that it was going to be fine and gave us a few good baby bandages to keep the slice clean and covered. She can’t walk very well and has taken to saying, “Cawwy me,” very cutely.

Although Genevieve is dripping from numerous parts of her little body and is sore in many places, she is not sleeping any more than before. She wakes more in the night, but sleep in the morning. As my need for sleep increased this week, her attempts to get me out of bed went up a level. After a few attempts of “Mommy open eyes, mommy wake up, open eyes,” she said angrily, “Naughty mommy! no close eyes!” She did actually succeed in rousing me with laughter.

Little children are easily distracted from their pain when they have other tasks at hand, I guess we all are. Genevieve is happy that the mosquitoes have finally arrived. You can just smack the air and she giggles instantly, saying “moustique!” waiting for your next attempt to smash a mosquito. Easy entertainment, by day Evie is quite happy doing anything. From “helping out” with the dishes, playing with random bits of anything to imaginative play with her big sister. The girls really came up with some lovely games this month, riding bikes together, riding together on the rocking horse, taking turns sometimes and battling it out others. Genevieve of course prefers one on one attention, but what is more natural in a family is that the adults are usually busy doing something as there are many tasks to run a household. Jacinta fills that role more now. When we can enjoy the sights and sounds of our little girls playing together without any adult input while we are busy doing our own tasks, Matt and I really love the size of our tiny house. But both of us do love when we can just sit down and play. For Genevieve, the second child, it is special. Jacinta expects this, she was once an only child.

It is raining and has been doing so intermittently all week long. This is why the mosquitoes have been able to increase their numbers, but also good for our water supply and garden. The rain has done all the work in the garden, this is my excuse for not having found the time to do much at all. Jacinta did plant a box of carrots and we picked fruit. The nectarines and plums are still in seasons and taste really nice. We actually dried a bunch of plums, which was a mistake. They turned bitter like cranberries in the drier, so we are using them in muffins. The weeds will be pretty rough after all this rain. The chickens will like the weeds. Speaking of chickens, they all escaped this week. I spent a frustrating afternoon cussing them out while I shamelessly chased them, in vain. I guess I only enjoy chicken chasing when I’m in the mood. I actually caught the wild rooster in a cage, but when Matt went to move him into the pen, the sneaky thing escaped again. Then Matt did some shameless chicken chasing and enjoyed himself, releasing work stress through rooster harassment. A few days later, a fox got the wild rooster early in the morning. Too bad we couldn’t convince him to live in our safe little chicken pen. The wild life does seem much better though.

The past few weeks Matt has been working on a small storage shed, neighboring the chicken pen. Last week he put a roof on so he could work through the rain. Now that he knows he can build a house, he seems pretty confident to build little buildings. This shed went up in less than a month, all wooden with a tin roof and a window for sunlight. I’m sure we’ll be able to fill it up pretty quickly. Jacinta loves building with her daddy. Since she helped a little bit along the way, she takes great interest in the daily progress. Genevieve too is interested in the cute little shed. She always found a way to sneak onto the dangerous building site, so I am grateful that it is finished.

After Jacinta has heard a few bedtime stories, she now tries to convince us that she is not sleepy. I leave her but Matt humors her since he has been gone most of the day. I hear them from the other room. “Tell me about your day Jacinta.” “No Daddy, you tell me first.” I never listen to what they say, but I wonder how Matt describes his day to a four year old. I wonder how Jacinta describes what we have done all day. Matt’s voice usually stops pretty quickly, but I can hear Jacinta’s voice through the walls going on and on. What an opportunity, to have her daddy right there, doing nothing else, wanting nothing more than to listen to his little girl talk. Jacinta is very lucky, her daddy knows what chatty girls need. We all are lucky for one reason or another.

I wish you all luck and a loved one who knows what you need. We might long for an open ear, a warm embrace, a place to stay, or someone to play with. My new Togolese friend probably longs for these same things, plus a few more. She has gone through a hell that I could never imagine, but even so, she has a place to stay and counts her blessings that she can walk anywhere without fear for her life (besides on the highway). The Aussie government knows what its people need and provide universal health care for them. Someday the US may be able to be do so. We can hope and help somehow, all in time.

Peace,
Shana

Dead day

Good evening friends. I am sitting here in darkness, lit by this obnoxious computer screen and by a small green Jack-O- Lantern smiling at me. Therefore, I must wish you a Happy Halloween. Perhaps if I were in America I might dread this holiday now because certain children’s costumes might scare the kids and force me to answer questions like, “Mommy, what’s a devil?” It would certainly bring masses of artificially flavored, artificially colored, sugary junk food into our house. But I have always loved Halloween for bringing the community together, the fun of dressing up and walking around in darkness in the autumn and actually seeing other humans out in the street. As I kid I loved all that, plus the masses of junk food.

Here in Australia Halloween is something new, fun for children, but not really embraced by many adults. It seems that the older the opinion holder, the more it is seen as yet another example of the Americanization of the world, which for younger people is not really a problem. But mostly, it is not celebrated here. Thus I can easily pick and choose which parts of Halloween I want to celebrate. Yesterday the girls and I celebrated all day long, dressed as butterflies. We started the day out with our wings and antennas and went on a treasure hunt for decaying bits of nature. Usually we hunt for beautiful colorful flowers, so this was actually a really cool twist to search for beauty in the dead. Both girls got really into it, Jacinta of course correcting her little sister, “No Genevieve. That’s not dead.” I’m not sure Genevieve really got it, but each time she picked up something dead, she pronounced it “dead.” Jacinta had mourned the passing of a beautiful red rose, but this day she lovingly gathered all of its dried up fermenting petals, put them in her basket to place on our nature table inside the house. She also noticed the rose bud forming on a branch nearby.

Our little table is now covered in dead ferns, orange and brown leaves, sticks, seed pods, and fermenting flower petals. We ended our walk in the orchard and picked some plums, nectarines and almost ripe apples. We then bobbed for them in the sandpit. Turns out that only the apples floated, I suppose that’s why I’ve never heard of bobbing for anything else! I was actually shocked that they were edible, I guess bat munched fruit should have been a sign that they were ripening up. Jacinta enjoyed trying once again at this silly game, but eventually just grabbed a nectarine with her hands and enjoyed it. Genevieve stuck her face in the water just for kicks, but found a much easier way to grab fruit out of a tub of water. After a while she just sat in the tub and enjoyed the fruit and the coolness of the water.

We intertwined my childhood traditions like popcorn balls, pumpkins and trick or treating with a true celebration of our loved ones who have died. We took present day Halloween and crossed it with some of the respectful traditions of The Day of the Dead and All Saints Day. Natural death is not meant to be so terrible, just part of the cycle. All Hallow’s Eve’s origins were respectful of ancestors and loved ones. I dug out pictures of our grandparents and momentos they had given to us, which were then placed on our nature table amongst the dead leaves and flower petals. For now, Jacinta loves hearing stories about everyone we know or once knew. Our little baby friend who died five hours after birth had her special place on our table, Theresa. Jacinta put some toys on the table that Theresa might have liked. We talked about these special people all day long. Today we had a special meal and made food that our Grandmas used to make, dining on the plates my grandmother made. I found a lot of these ideas in a book called Celebrating the Great Mother. I enjoy learning earth centered ways to celebrate holidays, it just makes sense. I look back fondly on the times I spent in church with my family but certainly the Church of the past is at fault for distancing many of us humans from earth based celebrations on the basis of being “godless pagan rituals.” There used to be mysticism in Christianity, less dogma and fewer people crying “Jesus save ME!” I know some places of worship are trying to tie earth celebration into their normal services and celebrations, which I think is wonderful and necessary to relieve us of our obsessive self-centeredness. So although I can’t yet create mysticism in myself and believe that good spirits are coming to visit us tonight because of our welcoming little Jack-O-Lantern, I hope to offer the beauty of mystery and the unknown to our girls.

The big unknown this week is the US election. I began writing this entry just after Halloween and due to extraordinary busyness, I will finish it as you are all waking up on Election Day. The outcome seems more predictable than it has been for the last couple elections, but we never can know. What a different feeling it will be tomorrow night, after America has decided who we want to lead us through the next four years of life probably including major economic change, environmental action, and the global nuclear arms race. It is major; imagine if we actually elect the first black man to the Oval Office. IMAGINE that! What a statement that we are truly ready for change. In one of the debates a woman asked the question that no American politician would choose, (I’m paraphrasing here) “Do you think that in this economic slump, we as Americans should be making any sacrifices?” Sacrifice? Compromise? What a concept. It was so nice to hear Obama actually admit the need to scrimp a little bit, I think he referred to energy saving. But scrimping seems to be something recent American politicians don’t discuss, never wanting to admit that us glorious proud Americans should have to scrimp. I’m sure they talked about scrimping and saving in the Depression, but have avoided the topic to keep that economy growing. But that’s where I get lost.

As I understand it, the US economy is based on the fact that Gross Domestic Product must continually grow to make it all work. They never mentioned this topic in college, but I have always wondered where will the earth find all the extra resources to keep up the growth? I suppose that is why we need other countries, economically, to exploit their resources to keep our economy continually growing. But can we ALL keep growing our GDP or just a few energetic nations? What happens when the countries we depend on for our own growth decide they want to go out in search of the earth’s supposed “unlimited” supply of wealth? Obviously the US is experiencing a recession, and as a result, so are many other globalized economies. We will come out of it, as we always do, what goes up must come down. But as the climate warms up and wars for oil roll on indefinitely, I guess I wonder if we’ll come out of this recession with the same economic belief that consumption and standard of living must continually rise to keep our economy going. But politicians don’t often think beyond their four year terms, I wish they did!

And I’m sure you’re wishing I’d get off the election and talk about our peaceful life here in the country. I cut myself off pretty well from the onslaught of unwanted media and I am far away from America so I’m not sick of the “campaign.” But just contemplating such big ideas hurts my poor little brain, so I will move on. The evolution of one’s brain is amazing, depending on what you use and what has been allowed to fade. The other day I racked my brains to divide 120 by 6, actually wrote it down before I realized how dumb I have become. Perhaps the knowledge I have gained in the garden took the spot where I stored my mathematical intellect.

Our pomegranate tree is in flower! The bright pink rubbery looking buds have burst open into bright pink flowers. The kiwi vines were budding last week for the first time. Their fuzzy little buds have just burst into gentle white flower today. If you are under four feet tall you can stand below in its shade and gaze above at the beautiful flowers, hiding amongst the fuzzy green leaves. The artichoke plant has created its second and third fruits. It is actually a thistle. The precious vegetable you buy in the shop is actually the bud, picked just before it opens up and turns into a big purple flower. Our garlic terrace is almost ready to harvest. We have fifty potato plants that I can not hope to mulch as I should, but they are in flower, another fun job for the girls to pick off the flower. One great thing about growing some vegetables is that picking off their flowers actually makes them grow better veggies, certainly in the case of root and leaf vegetables. Jacinta is becoming a confident little gardener and loves to repeat little bits of knowledge as she takes them to heart. “Mommy, if you pick off the garlic flower, it makes the garlic head grow bigger,” my little teacher.

It’s a good thing Jacinta has Genevieve to teach, as she has a lot to share. She has taught Genevieve so many games in these past few weeks. They have actually come up with quite a few activities that they can do together and not fight. Genevieve is starting the “MINE” stage. Jacinta, mimicking me, quickly corrects her little sister. “Genevieve, that is not YOURS, nothing is YOURS, it is all OURS. We share EVERYTHING.” She doesn’t go into the spiel that the earth gave the materials for the item, that someone else made it, and someone else gave it to us and that we will probably pass it on to someone else after we grow out of it. But I’m sure she will someday. Funny enough, Genevieve somehow gets over the possession and moves on after Jacinta corrects her.

Genevieve has taken on Jacinta’s strong character, or more likely, came to earth with that herself. Both girls are very demanding. One of my biggest jobs is not allowing them to turn into little controlling princesses, of course by asserting my own very strong will. Genevieve is still waking up with the rooster, far too early for parents who can not go to sleep before 11 pm or sometimes midnight. Once out of her crib we try cuddling her like we did successfully with Jacinta (until Evie was born). She scoffs at that idea, “Mommy, get up!” I growl and roll over. After she eventually drags me out of the bedroom, I may lay down on the couch and try to watch her play. “Mommy, get up……Mommy get off pillow…Table!” No response from me, so she goes for politesse. “Mommy, get off pillow…pease!” I have to get up at that point and jump into the nonstop action of the day.

Today we cleaned up our Halloween nature table. Jacinta thought we were going to save all of the dead leaves and flowers in a box for next year. We sprinkled them all over one of our gardens and let go of them. The whole circle is so clear to her. She understands that those precious rose petals are going to rot and make our native berry bush grow. She can take what she is ready to absorb with the human element of honoring our passed loved ones. Although it is spring here, and we are not surrounded by fermenting leaves and empty trees, some how it all feels so appropriate, especially with the election. Letting certain things go, letting them rot, and eventually enriching the earth, preparing the way for beautiful things to come. Matt has just come in to report that the polls have opened in the US.

I will leave you. I wish you happy Election Day, and hope and pray that beautiful things do come with change.

Peace,
Shana

Magical Flowers

Good evening. I have just come in from the garden, which is one of my favorite ways to end the day. Last year at this time I would have come in annoyed by all of the mosquitoes. But this year they are not a problem as of yet. I think I saw two mosquitoes tonight. For the last three years here in Australia, I have begun writing after putting the girl(s) to bed. But now that the girls are getting older and daylight lasts until 8pm, Matt and I are trying something new: taking turns doing the bedtime routine so that he can kayak or build and I can garden.

Most garden tasks really should be done in the early morning or in the cool of the afternoon or evening. These are both very difficult times to be packing the girls up when they are not fed, dressed or ready to get really dirty or when I need to be cooking dinner or doing the bedtime routine. So I spent my free hour of dusk transplanting leeks, lettuce, watermelon, peppers and tomatoes. It feels great to be filling up the empty garden beds with plants that will hopefully nourish us. I have two massive gardens, unnecessarily big actually, which are not yet planted out. Empty beds grow weeds, but aren’t all that bad. Digging in the soil that I left fallow (out of laziness) last season is rewarding as it is better than any soil I have ever planted in. The girls and I leave for America in maybe five weeks. If I don’t fill the garden, it will just be less work, which is not so bad. Speaking of, I must run and turn off the sprinkler, oops.

We had another lollygagging week at home, only going out a few times. Fruit on the trees makes days at home exciting. The nectarines are ripe now and the plums, well, Jacinta thinks they are ready but I disagree. We are also putting a few friendly chickens out in the moveable pen each day. We have two Isa Brown chickens given to us by my friend Maxine. She loved them but grew tired of their unceasing efforts to get in her house. The hens seem to have taken on my friend’s gentle and kind demeanor. Jacinta came up with another strange name, both called “Leoplelook” which rhymes with “People chook.” They are quite happy to be picked up and cuddled, and much easier to catch than the chicks. Luckily Jacinta has given up on the chicks and holds and pets the Leoplelooks instead. It’s a funny sight because the chickens are quite large. The only fear is that they will flap their wings in her arms, which hurts a little bit but is mostly frightening. She shed s a few tears saying, “She flapped me ): ” in the saddest voice. Genevieve likes the idea of holding the chickens, she’ll boldly chase them but always chickens out when she gets close. Our hens are laying three to four eggs a day and help the soil structure in little corners of the garden, no complaints.

We had a few cold windy days, so we stayed inside, sorted through clothes in search of winter clothes to take to the US and cooked. We baked muffins, made fishcakes, mayonnaise and a few salads. We still snuck out in the crazy wind to collect a few things from the garden. The girls each pulled some old bitter carrots and actually ate them, it’s amazing what they will eat in the garden and how much they can dislike the very same vegetable at the dinner table. Matt has had a sore wrist so we harvested comfrey root, calendula flowers and chamomile flowers to make an ointment.

Comfrey is a magical plant, sometimes called knit bone and known for its healing properties. A friend of mine actually ground up comfrey leaves and froze it in little packets for direct application after I gave birth to Jacinta. My tear healed quite well with the comfrey. The girls love doing things for daddy. We all enjoyed processing the flowers and chopping the comfrey root. I seethed the plant matter in oil for an hour and then added melted beeswax to solidify the ointment. We have also been making calendula oil with our flowers, something I learned in France from my friend Monique. The girls love harvesting the flowers as they bloom. Every few days we strain the oil, discard the old flower petals and drop in the new petals. We leave the oil in a jar in the sun, shaking it as often as possible. It seems to be working.
Calendula is another lovely healing plant, specifically for skin though.

We don’t know that the comfrey ointment will really “knit” Matt’s sprained wrist back together, but we had fun making it and it never hurts to try. We didn’t buy anything or have to leave the house! That’s something I really love teaching the girls, empowering them to know that you can make a lot of things yourself and need not go the shops for every little thing. Jacinta is starting to take pride in certain bits of wisdom. After she has heard me say the same thing a few times, something I have just learned in the past few years, she comes out with it on her own, as if it just clicked. “Mommy, we HAVE to knock off the garlic and the potato flowers so that the plant can grow its roots better.” This is a job she and Genevieve love.

“MY job,” Genevieve said in her sleep the other night. She and Jacinta love accomplishing things, so much that they fight over the privilege at times. Of course there are times when they can think of something better to do, mainly Jacinta. They feed Jedda, the dog while Keith and Mary are away. Although I don’t expect her to do anything, I do ask, just in case she is looking for a “job.” On a good day she will put away shoes, clean up things she has tipped out, feed the dog with Jacinta, pick flowers, and make more messes. Egg collection isn’t so successful, but Jedda likes it when Evie gets an egg. Jacinta can handle the egg collection, and will even ask to transplant seedlings now, on a good day. Most days, a job she wishes upon herself is the best bet as she often tries to refuse suggested jobs.

Both girls like the idea of having a job with daddy. On Saturday Jacinta jumped at the idea of helping daddy build the storage shed. A few minutes later, she was out of her dance clothes, in garden clothes and work boots and out the door. Matt has the frame up now, and half of the floor down. Jacinta hammered in a few nails on the floor, what an honor. Evie asks, “Help build? daddy?” Matt has taken her over to the future shed “to build” a few times, but this risky girl is not much help on a building site.

One of Genevieve’s new interests is books, one book in particular. Margaret Wise Brown is a great children’s author, some of our favorites are Goodnight Moon , The Big Red Barn and The Sleepy Book. We read these books to Jacinta over and over for her first few years of life. In The Sleepy Book, Margaret wrote a poem called “Little Donkey on the Hill.” Another illustrator took the poem and turned it into its own picture book and we came across it at a used book sale about a year ago. I like to sing the poem, Genevieve just loves it, as Jacinta used to. Any time we go into the bedroom Evie pulls it off the shelf, shoves it towards me, tries to get up on the “sleepy chair,” and beckons me to join her saying, “”Little Donkey?” She asks about “Little donkey?” or “little monkey?” any time she is tired, preparing for bed, and even in her sleep. She practices other words and phrases from the poem throughout the day, it’s very cute. She is rarely silent, unless concentrating on playing. When she stirs in the night, she tells me in her sleep, “Nappy mommy…, drink of wata.” Tonight I went to change her nappy and she tooted, giggling, “Toot…tooted…” in her sleep. She also mentioned the donkey on the hill.
Jacinta is starting to sit down with Genevieve and the book to sing “Little Donkey on the Hill,” of course noting later that she is a good big sister. This morning Matt found them at the other end of the house and asked what they were doing. “A raisin walk, daddy,” that would be walking around eating raisins together. Later they were playing “Goodnight, Good morning,” with piles of pillows and blankets. Jacinta is starting to feel the honor that comes with being an elder sibling as Genevieve repeats everything she says and wants everything the Jacinta wants, even if she doesn’t understand what she is really asking for. Jacinta often yells up to me as I trudge up the hill with heavy Genevieve and a few bags in my arms, eager to put down my load in the car. “WAIT FOR ME!” Genevieve heard this a few times, so today as she lead us all up the hill, she looked back and yelled, “Wait for me!” I love watching language form. The sounds come first, then the comprehension of what is being said. This is why I believe foreign languages are best taught through immersion rather than translation. We had a great French class this week on that note. My friend Zoie came and helped out, and this always makes a good class. Genevieve is starting to share her words in class and respond like the older children, somewhat.

So Genevieve’s new love is books and Jacinta’s new love is tadpoles. Our kind neighbors brought us a bucket of them from their pool. Jacinta and Lily lovingly fed them masses of flowers, under our supervision for a while but then covered the bucket with a centimeter layer of foliage. We found them all dead a few hours later, but Jacinta wasn’t terribly sad, just wondered why. I explained a few possibilities but that Matt had said there were more tadpoles in the pool we could find. Soon enough Matt and Jacinta went off with a net and bucket. Jacinta was very proud to have caught them all with her hands and went straight to work feeding them tiny vegetable greens, egg yolk and ground up corn and wheat. She looks at them every hour. A few have died anyway, but she is trying her best and learning good lessons. No doubt Genevieve loves them too and has had enough self control to not tip the whole bucket.

We were such homebodies this week that our first major outing in a car with five children and two mothers driving 45 minutes to Coffs Harbor didn’t seem too chaotic.
We went to a big regional playgroup festival at a park and brought along a little friend of Jacinta and Lily’s. We actually coached Jacinta and Lily on how to include their friend and not make her feel like a third wheel (as they have unfortunately already learned to exclude). They did great! At one point they sat on a swing together and then stopped and said there was room for Isabella and asked if I could find her for them. They all loved the jumping castle, Genevieve has been talking about it since. They all had their faces painted as butterflies and rode on a horse drawn buggy, just before the storm arrived. Anissa watched all five children on the gymnastics obstacle course while I ran and got sausage sandwiches (a necessary item at every Aussie event) and fruit for us all. We made it to a tiny cubby house, just big enough for all five children, two strollers and two moms just before it down poured. It was quite cozy, but eventually we ran through the rain for the car. All wet and bedraggled, the girls and I went in to Matt’s work to meet his co-workers for the first time. It was all very exciting, and perhaps tiring. Unfortunately we couldn’t track down any coffee on the way home.

This weekend hasn’t been as laid back as our weekdays. Dance class and the tree fair were on Saturday. To complicate things I took home a random dog thinking my friends had accidentally forgotten it at dance class. Our friends stopped in for a few hours to pick up some old sheets of tin for their garden and have some coffee. This coincided with the neighborly gift of tadpoles. Saturday night I went out with some girlfriends from playgroup. We had a Girls Night In, chipped in to support of breast cancer, and in support of happy mommas. We had a great time. I had to laugh at how my conversations have changed in the past five years. We drank wine, ate cheese, crackers and sweets, and laughed a lot. We discussed chickens, gardens, children, birth, dancing, how little we go out, and swapped seeds. Sunday morning we went to
“Art in the Park,” where we met up with friends. The girls listened to Dreamtime stories and painted with Ochre. When we came home, Jacinta and I read stories outside on a blanket while Matt worked on the shed and Evie napped. Eventually I fell asleep and Jacinta went tadpoling with Matt. Matt was joking with Jacinta about what we were going to order for dinner, telling her that we would order boogars and Brussels sprouts, lovely, I know. Even funnier was Jacinta’s response, sounding dramatically annoyed at silly Daddy. “No Daddy, we’ll have Hot chips and Brussels sprouts!” We ended the day at the windy beach with fish and chips, no Brussels sprouts though.

The energy little people get from sand, water, sea air, birds and the freedom of a limitless horizon is just awesome. Matt and I were freezing from the wind, but could not pull them away… and didn’t really want to. They were on fire, Evie ran and jumped, exhilarated by each new pool with her mouth wide open all the while, she rolled over and over in the shallow tide pools. Jacinta did forward rolls, landing on her head, laughing, jumping from tide pool to tide pool, smashing all of the little crab sand designs, digging like a dog. Their physical energy is energizing, but their unconscious mental energy is something we adults can really learn from. You can see the freedom, the undoubting belief in truth, beauty and goodness in their eyes and in their jumps.

I wish us all some of their freedom and beauty.
Have a lovely week.

Love,
Shana

Bye bye Button

Good evening. I hope you are well and enjoying all surrounding you or at least, coping with it. I am feeling really relaxed and happy with my surroundings at the moment. I had almost two hours alone this evening to garden, surely a good way to begin a peaceful evening, although my back may be sore from wheeling barrows of mulch down the hill. The sounds I hear at the moment are Beethoven’s Emperoro Piano Concerto Number 5, Jedda snoring, Matt watching a movie in the other room, and crickets chirping, all pretty peaceful. I am inhaling the fresh air through the window and the smell of the coffee in my cup, brewed with a hint of nutmeg and cinnamon. Looking out the window, I see nothing in the dark but my reflection in the dirty glass. If I choose to look around the room, I will see piles of clean unfolded laundry, bags waiting to be unpacked from our last outing, a big pile of freshly picked spinach, colorful toys, spilled food and dirty shoes all over the floor, but clean dishes, thanks to Matt. But I am avoiding eye contact with the mess so I can actually focus on something besides the seemingly futile work of cleaning up a room that will be trashed all too soon.

The girls and I have spent a lot of time at home this week, and for the most part we were not ill. Most of the time we had no plans and just let the wind blow us wherever it willed. We spent time outside: hanging laundry, playing with, chasing, and feeding chickens, working and playing in the garden and sandpit, and playing on the little playground. Since I was the only adult around, there was no hope of any extra entertainment. So they had to make use of each other and quite enjoyed themselves. They whined less and played independently, which is a nice change.

What adventures we had. One afternoon I took them on a bike ride to the neighbor’s place, about one kilometer down a weedy gravel road, over cattle grates, bridge and up and down hills. I thought Jacinta might practice on her bike, a bit naïve of me. Jacinta lasted about three minutes on her bike and then ditched it in the grass, saying she’d run alongside. That lasted another three minutes. Keith has always talked about the old days when he carried his three kids to town on his pushbike. I remember being eleven and doing the very same thing with my friends, minus the baby strapped into her seat at the back. So quick thinking, I decided I would “have a go.” Jacinta sat on the bike seat and held onto my hips while I stood and pedaled while Genevieve giggled with delight to have Jacinta up at her level. We did it! Both the neighbors and Matt doubt my intelligence, but hey, nobody got hurt, we had a good time and we made it there and back, remembering to retrieve the little bike from the weeds.

Another adventure this week has been gathering fruit. As the nectarines and plums are so close to being ripe, the girls are wanting to eat more and more each day. Jacinta told me that she has a nectarine tree in her ear. “Do you want to know what it said Mommy?” She then whispered in my ear, “It said, ‘I think I will be ripe next week.’” There are still strawberries, but the turkeys and slugs get most of them. The hunt is still quite entertaining. Our kind neighbors are sharing their white mulberry tree with us, and it is ready for the picking. It is a lovely tree just next to our orchard with low hanging branches and shade. Genevieve can sit alone in the crook of the tree and munch. Jacinta is a hoarder, collecting twenty berries and counting them, but not eating any until she has “enough.” She then sits down to enjoy. Genevieve and I munch while I pick. It is going to be a fruit feast from here on out, unless the fruit bats and turkeys get it all, which seems unlikely.

One morning I suggested we try and harvest a few blackberries. Knowing I would be without adult help, I brought along Genevieve’s highchair and strapped her in to prevent her from following me up the ladder. She was actually quite happy in her little chair watching. I decided to go to the fruitiest part of the tree, and perhaps the most dangerous. Jacinta advised me against this, wanting me to go up on the shed instead, but there were no mulberries up there. There is a defunct rusted out water tank sitting under the tree. Knowing it was not very sturdy I carefully placed my ladder on the edge of the tank and planned to just stand on the ladder, never setting foot on the old tank. I climbed up slowly, as slowly as the old tank collapsed and the ladder sunk with it. It was pretty funny, and again, luck was on my side. Not many mulberries though, that’s when we decided white mulberries would probably taste better anyway.

Chickens were another source of entertainment. Our hens are laying very well, but have become quite bold and a bit scary to Jacinta. She doesn’t spend much time playing in the pen now. The chicks are also growing brave enough to sneak out the holes in the fence so we spent some time chasing chicks and patching up tiny holes in the pen. One night the mother hen and all eleven chicks escaped and fell asleep in the shed. Mid-sleep, we packed them up in a little cage. I kept them locked up in this cage and then in a pen in the garden until the next day when our friend Nelly came to pick up eight of the chicks and a rooster, no mummy hen though. Jacinta was fine with this, understanding that we can not feed them all, nor keep any more roosters, just as long as we kept a few chicks. We tried to catch the wild clucky hen that lives under the house for Nelly but failed on the first day. The next day, I did successfully trap her in a large cage, in addition to a hungry rooster awaiting Nelly. Unfortunately, that night, something hungry dug its way into the cage and devoured both chickens. Ahhh!!! I unintentionally sacrificed these poor chickens, how terrible for them. I’ll get over it and I guess they already have, as they are probably being digested. There is a chance that they both dug their way out to go on a Bremen Town Musician Tour, and just left a few feathers behind to fool us. Or so I can pretend to allay my guilt.

For these amazing birds that entertain us and give us good protein, I have been pondering creating a movable pen that I can use in the garden. They love unused garden bed to scratch up. They do the weeding, till the soil all in search of insects and fertilize the soil. All the materials to create such a pen are lying around here in dangerous piles, no need to purchase anything, except for a real practical idea and some motivation. If everything is in one spot and I needn’t hunt down tools with two girls hanging off me, I accomplish things. But this is often not the case. My friend Anissa is different and luckily has been spending a lot of time here. She is energized by the things that wear me out. So we made the movable pen this week, in addition to clearing a few more garden beds and planting seeds and seedlings while the children played in the sandpit and also pretended to be chickens inside the wire cage while we constructed the little pen.. Two real hens tried it out today, seemed happy for a few hours and did not escape. Bonus.

With no major outings this week, we still did quite a bit of socializing. Since Anissa and the kids were the only ones who came for French class on Monday, we thought we’d switch gears a little. We taught them some gymnastics first, since both of us moms were gymnasts. (I was sore for a few days following). I had playgroup here instead of canceling it because of the rain. All the moms helped out with cleaning and caring so it worked out pretty well. Jacinta had her friend Adelle over to play one day. That same evening Anissa and Craig brought the kids over after dinner for a movie night. The kids eventually slept and we were able to watch and discuss a movie on how Cuba survived Peak Oil because they had to pull together and dive into local organic agriculture to feed themselves and recreate true community. It’s no wonder how little I know about one of the USA’s supposed arch enemies. Cuba is an inspiration, not because of its communist standing in the world but because of its tenacity in dealing with exclusion from the global market. I knew their healthcare system was pretty awesome, but now I know they have even more to teach us in these uncertain times.

I can’t see Western governments humbling themselves to embrace and learn from Cuba’s experience any time soon, given how much flack Obama is getting for the mere mention of his willingness to even sit at a table with Mamhoud Ahmadinejad. Imagine a US president getting advice from a communist nation, hee hee. It seems that many countries forget to look outside their borders for ideas. We can only hope that things are changing now with so much free information floating around.

Floating…well, a jump but…Genevieve took her first swimming lesson this week. She watched Jacinta first, who was delighted to be back in the warm water with her swimming teacher. When it was her turn, slowly and bravely Genevieve marched up to the edge of the pool. She lost her nerve when she realized she was getting in the water with a “stranger,” but stayed in for the whole 15 minute lesson. She floated back and forth with Cheryl, using all the different toys, noodles, kick boards and mirrors that Jacinta uses, whimpering from time to time. That evening she said over and over, “lay down…Cheryl…simming.” She practiced kicking and laying down in the bath tub, it was beautiful.

Matt tried so hard to make it to their swimming lesson, but work has just been really busy. I took a few pictures and movies which made him feel better. He is on call this week which is a bummer, and also had a little stomach flu. Now that the nights are longer, Matt’s trying to work outside a little bit after work, inspired by the major urge to clean up and organize. He and Jacinta worked on putting together the roof racks on the car, which ended up being the wrong size. Today he worked on his storage shed: clearing the space, gathering materials and beginning the foundation. He needed the tractor for something, so Evie had her first tractor ride. She lasted a long while, even clapping and saying, “Yay!” when it was all over, so happy for the ride. Both girls get so excited when Matt comes home from work, following him around for a good while. They must need a change in adult energy and know that he will probably make them giggle.

We have so much fun as a family getting the girls ready for bed, if we are all awake enough for the routine. Tonight Genevieve said, “bye bye button.” She was talking to her belly button who was being locked away in an all in one pajama. Jacinta gloated that she was wearing pajamas in which she could still touch her belly button so logically, Genevieve dove into her big sister’s belly button. Jacinta is unpredictable as to what she will find funny, cute or unacceptable. Today in the car Jacinta decided to “assist” Genevieve in placing a pair of training pants on her head. Genevieve, also unpredictable, found this hilarious. So I drove through town with Evie’s head hidden inside her pink undies. At some point they fell off and she sweetly called out, “Cinta…help….hat.” Jacinta laughed and explained to Evie that she would have to wait until we got home and she could get out of her car seat to put the undies back on her head. Jacinta loves to be a helper, she sits with Evie while she is trying to wee on the potty. Genevieve actually did her first wee on the potty this week, a fluke though.

Good humor, this is a good word for the week. I sometimes forget to laugh with my girls. Sometimes I take my “job” as a mom too seriously, feeling an everlasting need to teach and be an authority figure. I find myself reminding Jacinta to laugh more at Genevieve, rather than getting terribly frustrated. I guess this is best way to learn from ourselves, seeing our own undesirable behaviors come out of our children and realizing that it is a slight problem. I forget that I should probably change myself first, before preaching what I have not learned to practice. I am a woman of too many words, but I’ll try. Laugh a lot, especially at yourself this week, I’ll try too. Take care,

Peace,
Shana

Spring cleaning

Hello there. Spring is truly here, to prove it, my spring cleaning urge is totally gone. I finished the last grating task on my list, getting rid of the mass of clutter in the girls’ room. It took a few hours of solitude and a little Prairie Home Companion to keep me going. Keith took the girls to Kempsey to visit Mary and the retired residents in her facility for morning tea. I was able to sneak out the give away items and get rid of the trash just as they came down the hill. I become perhaps more attached to the girls’ things than they do because almost everything they have is a gift from someone we love. I remember the history of each item, but also know we can not keep it all and someone else would make better use of certain beloved blankets, clothes and toys. So the dwindling down of the bedroom is actually quite emotional, but also feels good, freeing, creating space to breathe, imagine, move and play. To preserve a few beloved items longer I have decided to make Genevieve a quilt of all of our favorite little clothes that both girls wore. I have also found a few blankets that are close enough in size to sew together and turn them into a big girl blanket. And I wonder why Jacinta has trouble letting go of things…

There are millions of tasks that should have been on my mental spring cleaning list, but alas, they didn’t make the cut. The windows are better off dirty and full of spider webs to catch flies and mosquitoes and to deter birds from flying into them only to end up with broken necks. Yet another beautiful bald headed pigeon slammed into the window and died this week. The girls always put a flower on the birdie’s body as we bury them. These birds are bigger than our bantam chickens, it’s a wonder we don’t cook them up and eat them instead of some other source of protein on our plate. Keith says people used to eat them. Speaking of chickens, we have two more laying hens now, a gift from another friend. Now we have five laying hens and fourteen free loaders  The eggs are lovely, the girls love to find them each afternoon. If Genevieve gets there first she usually cracks one or two, which makes Jedda the dog happy. The chicks are still nice to hold, but very jumpy now.

The area around the chook pen used to be really dangerous, with scraps of jagged metal lying around, planks of wood with protruding nails in piles, scraps of chicken wire lying around and long weeds. Keith dug his heels in and really cleaned up a lot of the mess this week, inspired by his upcoming holiday to South Australia. (He and Mary left yesterday on their big road trip). Matt just finished up the major work on the cellar so he too was able to tick off one of his big tasks, and also get rid of one more danger zone. This weekend Matt ran on the clean up energy further cleaning up the yard, burning off more old vines, sticks, weeds and useless scraps of wood. He is preparing to enlarge and reorganize his tool shed which necessitated a major clean up. Jacinta has always strayed away from these danger zones, but Genevieve is a different child. She is not that firm on her feet yet but is drawn to the danger zones, out of mere curiosity. This weeks’ progress was amazing, especially because it was unexpected.

Any bit of garden progress is unexpected. I set my expectations pretty low given my status as a novice gardener. This way I am pleased with the smallest of things. All of the citrus trees are setting fruit at the moment. The heaven-scented flower petals are dropping off, leaving behind tiny green balls which will grow into limes, lemons and oranges. The two plum trees and one nectarine tree are loaded with fruit, just ripening up. The nectarines should only be another couple of weeks, and the plums will follow shortly after. Jacinta and Genevieve could give a more accurate account on ripeness because they eat a fruit off of each tree each day, just to taste the hint of sweetness and how it gets sweeter every day. Jacinta says she won’t mind if she doesn’t get many ripe nectarines, at least she is beating the fruit fly to them! True.

The terrace garden strawberries took an extra month to get going, but they are finally ready and are the biggest ones yet. I have a lovely patch right outside my bedroom window, but the turkeys steal them when they are still white. They are also back at their old tricks, digging up freshly planted seeds and seedlings. This has made turkey chasing a fun and acceptable activity for the girls and I. Today I planted a patch of corn, but had to cover the seeds with oyster netting to prevent rat, turkey and toddler damage. The garden is at a really exciting, tempting stage. There is a lot of space because the seedlings are all small, little cucumber, bean, potato and tomato plants everywhere. The empty looking dirt makes me want to plant more, but I will try to resist. I want a little bit of everything, but certainly masses of peppers, melons and tomatoes. Today while Matt took the girls out to Bellwood (park/beach), I had time to dream, mulch, plant corn, create a few new teepees for tomatoes and beans to climb, and actually dig through a few weeds and discover young seedlings. Spring is a very hopeful time, I can just see these plants two feet high in a few months. I can see my girls playing hide and seek in between the 30 corn stalks that might be taller than them by December. My mom has always smiled remembering playing in the corn as a little girl. I remember running through corn fields in Montana, Brittany (France), and corn mazes in Michigan and I sure smile thinking of these times. Our girls may also smile looking back in a couple decades. I’d better find a way to make it grow like my Grandma did!

I remember visiting my grandparents as a child and trying out farm life for a week at a time. A week never did it, I was always on the outside. I remember the rodeo and the auction, I never understood. I enjoyed myself no doubt, but I couldn’t really appreciate the beauty of it because I did not belong. Now I go to the local showground a few times a year for different festivals: Pro-Ag, the Macksville Show (Fair), and the Dexter Cattle Show. I see my cousins in the proud teenagers caring for and showing the cattle, horses and sheep and I think I understand now. What a treat to grow up doing something from childhood that you know you can do as a useful trade for the rest of your life, if you so choose. Certainly many of them will go to the city and do something else, but they have that light in them, that pride, the ability to handle massive, mysterious animals and make a living off the land because their parents taught them. They know something about the land on which they live. I had a lot of pride as a teenager, but it was not a pride in home. It was a pride that I thought came from me, myself and I. We all prided ourselves on being accepted by our peers, being different from our parents and siblings, finding our own path, not following anyone, getting good enough grades, doing well in sports, and being confident enough to leave our home town and find a much “cooler” place to get a college education and study something that would make us happy and/or wealthy.

Perhaps these strong-looking teenagers at the showground want the very same things I wanted and maybe they want to leave town as soon as they finish high school. I won’t know until my girls get there. But in any case, I like the little town fairs here, I like belonging. We went to two on Saturday, “Back to Bowra” and “Pro-Ag.” In Bowraville we saw “billy cart races,” which are like little go carts with no motor that get pushed down a hill to see which child rolls to fastest. Jacinta said she will do it next year. We watched the parade down the main street: the Rainbow Serpent (worn by fifteen adults hiding underneath the brightly colored cloth snake body), local clubs on floats, horses, old tractors, and children walking on stilts. We saw men and little girls break boards in a Tai Kwon Do show and a belly dancing show, which inspired Jess and Evie to get up and dance. Bowraville has a strong aboriginal population so councilman Martin welcomed us all to Gumbaynggir country and lead a few traditional dances. Genevieve was a little frightened for some reason. Jacinta innocently asked, “Mommy, why is that man just wearing big red undies?” She didn’t ask about the paint all over their bodies. Nor was she startled by the large women belly dancing, she was just entranced by the beauty of the dance. Dancing is so liberating, I just wish we didn’t stand around spectating. Don’t you think more dancing would do us all some good?

We saw a little black lamb get sheared at Pro Ag, even took home a pile of his wool. We chatted to the solar power people and found out about solar hot water heaters. They seem to be the first step in solar power, meaning the most affordable and most effective at reducing your electricity bill. We watched a magic show with the girls: card tricks, silly jokes, rabbits in hats and all that jazz. Following the show Troppo Bob let the children hold his baby bunnies. Jacinta held on to one black bunny for about ten minutes while she waited patiently for her balloon creature. Genevieve requested a pink fish, but Bob didn’t hear and said, “How about a doggy?” “Yes,” Genevieve replied. At every twist of the balloon, she gently tried to take the balloon. She finally got her doggy and loved it so much she bit and popped him before we made it home. That evening I asked Jacinta what she remembered most about her day and she said, “Holding the fuzzy wool and holding the soft black bunny.” I guess she values her sense of touch like I value my sense of smell.

Matt likes to play around with Jacinta. I think it’s his role in a house full of girls, my dad did the same. Last night Matt asked, “Jacinta, do you have three noses?” After a few years of stupid questions she gave it back to him. She didn’t merely laugh and say, “dad-deeeee.” Her reply was quick and well thought out, “If you come out of someone’s belly, and they only have one nose – that’s how many noses you have. How many noses do you have Daddy?”

This week I wish I did not have a nose, but only a big soft heart to take care of little Evie with her middle of the night stomach flu. I’m sure Matt would agree as he has done most of the clean up. She is her normal cute mischievous self by day, but poor little Genevieve has vomited in the middle of the night, for the last three nights. After she vomits, she is chatty and happy, but wants to go back to bed. Last night, in the cutest, most pathetic voice she could muster, she said, “Hurts…” I asked her what hurt and she said, “Bewwy, Bewwy hurts.” We think she may be through it, fingers crossed. Just as I typed that last sentence, she awoke and needed a nappy change, no vomit. So far so good.

With me getting over my cold and Genevieve with her stomach flu, we have been laying pretty low. I tried to relax at night and actually wanted to watch movies. Matt discovered a good way to convince me to watch West Wing with him: a free shoulder massage. I’ll take any bribe for a back rub. Matt was home Monday and Tuesday which was wonderful for my healing. Jacinta got him to take her to preschool AND pick her up, a big treat to have daddy at preschool.

The girls continue their journey learning how to share space, share attention and appreciate each other. One success is taking turns, Evie repeats over and over until she gets what she wants, “Evie tuhn?” She likes short turns, and will give back the coveted object within a second of receiving it, but then expects it to return just as quickly if she sweetly asks, “Evie tuhn?” Jacinta, as a result of manners drilled into her head, will not give Evie anything if she does not say “please,” and then encourages her to say thank you, which she does. They are very funny, Matt and I find ourselves laughing often at the girls, which feels great.

All is well out here. I can hear a rodent attempting to sneak in the front door, ick. I shall leave you and try to discourage the intruder. Good night.

Peace,
Shana

Pride and Mischief

Good evening loved ones, cough, cough. I hope you are enjoying the lovely scent of autumn all around you. My nose hasn’t been lucky enough to sniff the fermenting leaves and fires for three years now. I am very smell-oriented, cough, cough. This scent stayed in me for a long time, I could inhale deeply and summon this scent to mind, but it seems to have disappeared. I hope that arriving in the US in early December there will still be a little of this scent in the air to replenish me, cough, cough.

My chest infection has decided to stay a while. I stayed home this week and tried to stop talking for a little while, but I am not very good at that. I rested a little bit. Keith took the girls out a few times, to help me out. But of course, I did not rest as I should have. I gardened and cleaned as fast as I could to make use of the time. I did rest a little though. I actually sat and played in the sandbox with the girls, rather than gardening in the sun while they play in the shade. We turned a sand mountain into a volcano with baking soda and vinegar. I am exhausted by the end of each day though, so my body forces me to sleep early. It seems to be the only way to stop coughing at night. The girls don’t mind me being sick though. My temper is a bit shorter, I wonder if they notice. Probably. Jacinta thoughtfully said, “Mommy…you’re still a good mommy…even with that yucky sickness.”

Sweet Jacinta, she is full of kind words these days. When we say good night to the girls, we always say, “I love you,” just like my parents always did. Jacinta sometimes thoughtlessly mumbles, “I love you too…” Last night she surprised me when I told her “I love you.” She thought a moment and strongly replied, “I love you too Mommy. I love you more than anything in the whole wide world.” What a rewarding development. Besides incessant comparisons and competitions, Jacinta is learning the art of honest flattery. She said to Matt that same evening, “Daddy, I love you sixty-four million. I love you more than anything in the whole wide world.” Luckily in her explorations of the superlative, there is room for more than one at the top.

Our newly formed chicken flock doesn’t seem to have determined their pecking order yet. Rather than sleeping on their roost and battling it out who gets the prime spot on top, they all scrunch up into one corner on top of their laying box. Sometimes I pick them up mid-sleep and relocate them on the roost, only to discover an intruding rooster hiding underneath the brown hen’s bum. In addition to the three laying hens, we came across a bantam (small) hen in Keith’s shed who had just hatched eleven chicks. So the flock has just gone from 3 to 15, plus a desperate rooster or two. The roosters have lost their will to roam free. They either sit outside the pen looking in all day long, or simply fly in and hang out with the hens. It is interesting that they choose imprisonment rather than liberty, just to get a little action from hens that are too large for them anyway. I understand all boys’ schools now.

Like the roosters, Jacinta too is in love with the chickens, but mainly the chicks. She was able to grab the little chicks for the first few days but now the mother hen has become more aggressive so I have to grab the chicks for Jacinta to cuddle a few times a day. She’ll sit with a chick for as long as it will let her, sometimes set it upon the greens she has gathered and always says goodbye with a nuzzle on the cheek. Today all of the chickens escaped through a half-open door, so we had an adventure getting them all back home safely, nets, chasing, cages and all. Matt was the star of the show, I never knew he was such a clever chicken chaser. He seemed rather annoyed though. I on the other hand, while running and chasing them further from their pen, actually smiled and thought, “Wow, this is great fun!” Although I don’t have the sense to steer them in the right direction, I did catch Madame Poule with a net and was quite proud. Jacinta and Genevieve (well…somewhat) guarded the door to the pen and made sure they all stayed in while we chased the rest.

The girls are both getting so big and confident. Genevieve and I picked Jacinta up from preschool on Tuesday, with her bike in the front seat, some popcorn and a mango to share. We went to the duck pond in town to play, an outing we love more each time we go. Jacinta was straight out the car and on her bike, riding as fast as she could, back and forth under the beautiful shady tree cover. Genevieve and I went to a bench and dove into the popcorn, feeding ourselves and the moorhens, and watching the amazing birdlife on the islands in the middle of the pond: cranes, spoonbills, ibis, galahs, rainbow lorikeets. Jacinta looked joyful, carefree, and confident. I know she is truly enjoying herself when she does great things without the need to know I am watching. Not once did she say, “Look at me!” But of course, I was.

Jacinta went to playgroup without us on Thursday, but with a friend of mine. It was a dress-up day and she went as a butterfly. We had fun making her costume. It felt strange sending off my beautiful butterfly and missing out on her flight. She never gives much detail when she spends time away from me, but she told me about a few sweet treats and playing on a huge play structure. She talked about sliding down the pole, with help. She has mentioned before that her other friends Lily and Adelle can both go down without help, more amazed by their ability than feeling sorry for herself. Friday I took the girls to a new park and there happened to be a pole there. Jacinta worked on that pole until she could do it alone. Genevieve climbed across this scary hoopy thing over and over while I followed closely below with my hands ready to catch her if she fell. But climbers are climbers, and of course, she never fell. Siblings are good to teach that important lesson that we all have different gifts. Jacinta openly admitted that she was too scared to even step on the thing that her little sister could do. She was proud that she had mastered the pole and that was “her thing.”

Genevieve’s thing is climbing. She climbed higher this week than ever before. It is mulberry season now so there is a need for a big ladder, for the mulberry tree is much taller than the guava tree. Usually Keith climbs the ladder and fetches the berries alone, but I joined him a few days ago and I can see why he goes alone now. It is physically impossible to restrain Genevieve from climbing that ladder. She understands the word “no” now, but her physical will is so much stronger than one little word and sometimes my strength. The ladder is like a magnet sucking her in. We all went swimming at the neighbor’s pool the other day and again, she found an even higher ladder to a slide that even scared me. I shook in my boots as I stood at the bottom, doing all I could to make sure she didn’t tumble. But of course, she slipped down safely and loved the steep metal slide, hand made by our neighbor.

Our little climber is also mischievous, nothing like her sister at this age. Jacinta didn’t really toy with mischief, if I remember correctly. Genevieve’s will to experience is much more powerful than her will to please. In the past few weeks, I have had to clean up more “experiential messes” than ever before: sunscreen, water, juice, goldenseal ointment, flour, porridge, and rice. Yesterday the girls helped paint a plank of wood for the cellar (Matt is back in action on it). I stripped them down ahead of time, knowing it would be messy. But Genevieve immediately gave up on the plank of wood, her belly really needed to be blue. Genevieve’s mischief inspires the same in Jacinta, who a few minutes later joined Genevieve in her blueness.

Matt took the girls to Mount Yarrahappini to explore the creek and look at the waterfall this morning. Laughing at the insanity of it all later on, he described Genevieve as a maniac with a death wish. She started off walking in one inch deep puddles in her gum boots, and soon enough, went in up to her knees, and eventually sat down in the cold creek, and lay back to look up at the trees. Matt and I took the girls canoeing Sunday morning at low tide. It was rough getting the canoe out over the muck, but Matt did well. Getting the girls and I through it was perhaps the worst part. With our boots stuck under the mud, we became immobile. I fell flat on my behind with Genevieve in my arms and Jacinta next to me, about to have a meltdown. After carrying the canoe out, Matt came back and helped us out, all leaving our boots behind and trudging barefoot, sinking six inches below the surface with each step. It was a rough start but we had a nice time once we got going. The girls both get antsy after about 20 minutes, so Genevieve in her bulky life jacket leaned out of the canoe to touch the water. I’ll do anything to keep us out on the water, so I counterbalanced her with my weight. Eventually she leaned in so far she got her hair wet, and put her feet in. Jacinta, again, was inspired by her little sister’s idea of entertainment and joined in. Genevieve is fearless in many ways, and very trusting, I’d bet that most children her age are too. I remember that Jacinta used to be almost fearless. I guess fear and caution come with experience, a little later.

When Matt takes Genevieve out in the kayak, she seems calm, restrained and perhaps even cautious. It may be the way she is held between his legs while he paddles. Both girls look so peaceful and content sitting in Matt’s lap while he does all the work. They take turns going out, but both like the feel of the water rushing through their fingers and the hunt for duck feathers floating on the surface. Matt doesn’t get to go out as much as he’d like, it is still a treat. He snuck off one afternoon as soon as he got home, since the girls were busy playing with Keith. Jacinta found out and was pretty sad. Needless to say, he’ll probably say hello first next time.

Work for Matt has been very busy, for there are lots of sick people. A hospital overload means a case overload so he is running to and fro. But lo and behold, he is in the middle of a four day weekend. So he dove back to work on the cellar, insulating the walls, filling holes, trying to make it efficient and rodent proof. One recent joy Matt had was the arrival of Matthew Fox’s latest book, The Hidden Spirituality of Men, in which my Matt has an eight-page essay printed in full, including two of his own songs. Upon request, Matt wrote this essay on the paternal heart a while back, not really knowing how Fox might use it. The first he heard of it was a few weeks ago when a friend emailed to congratulate him on the essay, having read it in the book. Needless to say, Matt (Henry) is feeling pretty happy about the whole thing. Otherwise, one of Matt’s major interests at the moment is the US election, obsessed by the polls and news articles. We both received our absentee ballots this week. He is an eager voter as am I, but he even took a photo of his ballot, so proud of his choice. Jacinta helped me vote today, it’s all very exciting.

We were anxious for the Vice Presidential Debates this week. I couldn’t wait to hear both Biden and Palin speak, not having heard either of them speak, unedited by the media. I taped it while Matt was at work, as it was on at 10am here. We sat down that evening with a glass of good red wine to enjoy. I’ll spare you detail, but just say that I liked them both as humans with a good sense of humor and good intentions, a much more pleasant tone than the McCain/Obama debate. I thought Governor Palin was a slight bit more intelligent than the media has made her out to be, although she did make up her own questions (as I tend to do). I was not convinced of her ability to lead this US out of the rut we are in. Again, I agree with Biden’s plans and policies and am more convinced by his ability to lead a country. Obviously I don’t live in the US and have not been bombarded with the overwhelming media like you all have been because I was actually sad when the debate ended. Just two days until the next one!

Another exciting event was the arrival of a package I ordered from Amazon.France about a month ago. I have in my hands a novel written by my Senegalese host brother, Massamba Diadhou, published and for sale on Amazon. This is amazing, and really good reading to nourish the Franco-Senegalese side of me. I can hear him speaking through his characters. I know which traits of his main character are a mirror of his own personality or what he aims to be. I can see the places he describes, and hear the same stories Massamba and his siblings told me echoed in this book. I also ordered a few children’s movies in French, so now Jacinta is watching a cartoon about a little boy who lives with monks and talks to animals. Music speaks to her more than anything. She has already fallen in love with the theme song. I told her we could learn it too. Breathlessly she replied, “No mommy, this is the prettiest song ever and only they can sing it like this.” This inspires her to watch the little 20 minute stories as much as she is allowed.

It’s hard to be ill and have this much excitement in one week, but yet another event happened and required energy and voice. Our food co-op met and began discussing how to become a “Transition Town.” http://transitiontowns.org (There are a few transition towns in the USA, Boulder, Co is one.) It will be years before we can truly organize ourselves, but we have opened the discussion. We know there are hundreds of people in this valley who would agree on the need for these type of changes, it is just the question of how and if we have the energy to gather and do something together. The individual will is there, so it will be interesting to see how we make it a collective will, at least for those already convinced. For now, I’m just doing a little research...and trying to garden, cook simply and play more in the sandbox with the girls.

We made a volcano in the sand, with baking soda and vinegar, very exciting as Jacinta has never even heard the word, volcano. Another simple joy is that Genevieve now tells you when she needs a nappy change. After the announcement, she goes to the couch and lies down flat, awaiting relief. Jacinta’s big news is her new suitcase, special for big girls who are flying to America for Christmas. She is packed, literally, and ready to go. Her suitcase contains eleven books and five sweaters and is wheeled around the house constantly. “Mommy, I feel like we are leaving tomorrow!” Two months, tomorrow, what’s the difference to a four year old?

Matt has put a few more movies on our website and will put a new one on this week so have a look if you get a chance, www.paintedguitar.com

Have a lovely October, enjoy the scent. If anyone can figure out how to bottle it, please send me some!!!

Peace,
Shana