Where are the dice?

Good evening loved ones. Whirlwind of a week it has been, me oh my. We jammed in as much as we could before my sister and her family left on Friday morning. Matt and I caught the flu while they were here, after the girls had finished with it, but I couldn’t waste time sleeping or recovering. That is what I will do this week. Matt doesn’t sleep much these days working full time, trying to finish the book and being a daddy.
Perhaps the night he sends the book off to the printer, that night he will sleep like a baby.

Baby? Genevieve is not a good example of this expression, but she is on the road. I gave her the last drop of breast milk two nights ago. She is sleeping a little better thus far, but this will be the second night in. She woke up at five this morning expecting to be nursed sorely awakened to find that cuddles, cow’s milk, play and food were her only options. So it was a long day with two tiny naps. She went to bed at 3:30pm. It is now almost 6pm. Her little body is all out of whack, but she seems more at peace somehow. I know I will miss nursing my babies, it was so nice. But I am over it. In Senegal my friends laughed at me saying I had something called, la bougeotte, meaning I move too much. This is true, I have a hard time stopping and nursing my baby for as long as she holds on (sometimes an hour at night and then a few times throughout the night).I shall go to bed early and prepare for an insane waking hour tomorrow.

My little nephew Kai woke each morning at five, Genevieve may be following suit.
Kai had such a hard time waiting for us to wake up so he could come in and play all the musical instruments in the music basket. Sweet little Paige, well, newborns tend to wake at strange hours so Lecia and Ben didn’t sleep much either. The unfortunate part of waking so early is that it is so cold. Warmth doesn’t come until about 9am. Imagine if Genevieve wakes at 4am tomorrow, ready to rock. That will be hours before the sun warms things up. Perhaps we’ll cook an extravagant breakfast. On that note, breakfast with two families and four tiny children was an interesting adventure, we had so many different things on the table. We were always going in different directions, but we eventually left the house and did a few things together.

One day we went out to Coffs Harbour to watch seals and dolphins do tricks. Jacinta is the only one old enough to pay attention for longer than five minutes. Kai and Evie enjoyed getting kisses from the animals and especially feeding them fish and touching them. Jacinta, of course, enjoyed this too. One day we were able to share our favorite beach park with our visitors. Kai was elated just to touch the sand, climb on rocks and make footprints. Paige, as usual, enjoyed looking at the trees above her. Our girls had to strip down and get in the water, as usual. Another day we pushed two double prams into town to check out the highlights of Macksville including the supermarket, fruit shop, newsagent, chasing seagulls, playing on the docks and eating ice cream on the river. Matt met us in town for lunch and later on took Ben out to the Pub With No Beer, a really old and famous pub thirty minutes away and seemingly in the middle of nowhere. Thoughtfully Jacinta asked “do you think daddy will have wine at the pub?” I told her that daddy usually orders beer when he is out. She logically replied, “Well, they don’t have beer at the ‘Pub With No Beer.’” I had to explain that it was a silly name and that the ‘Pub With No Beer’ has lots of beer. Both men had beer while Lecia and I stayed home and ‘relaxed’ with the kids.

Besides our outings we had a great time here at home, actually wished we spent more time at home. Jacinta kept up her reputation as the diaper helper. Honestly, every nappy change she knew was happening, she was there. She especially loved to change Paige, and just sit and smile at her. Kai kept up his games of hiding in Jacinta’s bed each night. Given his daily three hour nap (what a dream), he stayed up later than both of our girls, and woke earlier. It is rare that a one year old, a two year old, and a four year old play the same game and enjoy themselves. Baths were a good time, although the big girl complained about their splashing. Laughing about farts and stinky diapers are always good fun for everyone. Playing on the swing set was good for all, except that Kai and Evie always went for the same swing or slide. They all enjoyed throwing pebbles off the bridge into the creek. The nights were busy with alternating dinnertimes and bedtimes, so different from the past when we’ve stayed up with a glass of wine, chatting and having adult conversations. One night after all the children were asleep, Lecia and I went out to find a place to sit down and have a drink. I was sure a café would be open at the beach, but they were not. Instead we walked out on the pier in the dark and looked at the stars. We eventually settled for a pub: a funny place for two married women at 9pm on a Wednesday.

After our 10 days together, we had to say goodbye. The girls and I popped into the Coffs Harbour airport to get our last few minutes in. The kids ran around and watched for airplanes. Saying goodbye was sad, of course, but after an excellent visit. How very lucky we are. It makes it much easier that we have already bought airline tickets to go for Christmas. An added bonus was the lure of a park following our goodbye. I stayed out of the house the whole day, perhaps avoiding going home to inhabit a place that my sister had just been, or perhaps avoiding cleaning up the aftermath. Jacinta, on the other hand, had been out entirely too much and needed to be home. Genevieve was tired, but I had an errand to run, an exciting errand.

We walked quite a way with no stroller or carrier and eventually found lunch at Noodle Paradise. It was the first restaurant we saw. Jacinta liked the sound of it and I could carry Evie no further. Upon arrival, Jacinta looked all around and asked me, “Mommy? Where are the dice?” I suppose if you had never heard of ‘paradise’, you might think it was a ‘pair of dice.’ After lunch we trekked on to find Anglicare, an organization which works to assist refugees settle down in Australian society. I picked up the necessary paperwork and even had an interview, children included. We are almost ready to begin visiting families. Thus far it seems that we will work with a small family from Togo and a small family from Burundi. To say the least, I am pretty excited. This is what I needed on the day I bid my sister goodbye.

To finish off the week, Keith turned 70! What a fun person to celebrate, my, he is so creative, generous and joyful. Mary threw him a party at a lovely restaurant overlooking the beach and we celebrated all day. Jacinta had dance class too, the highlight being the chance to wear her new winter dance clothes. I was able to talk to both of my parents on the telephone today and even had some time in the garden with Evie. Genevieve woke up at 6:15 and just went back to sleep at 10:30 after screaming for an hour, a bit rough. I can’t breathe and my pinkies are frozen from typing. But hey, life is pretty good to us.

Hope you are enjoying the heat and fruits of the summer. Take care,
Peace,
Shana

Life with four children

Good evening y’all. What a week it has been. After much anticipation, my sister Lecia, her husband Ben, and their two children Kai and Paige have made it to Macksville. Jacinta, Genevieve and I enjoyed the long, energetic train ride down to Sydney for all eight hours. Cows, horses, sheep, a donkey, mountains, rivers, creeks, bridges, no seatbelts, toys, arts and crafts, snacks, mom’s full attention, strangers to enchant or annoy…what more can you ask? Our kind friend Dom picked us up at the station and took us back to spend the evening with his wife, two sweet daughters and a few close friends. The following day, we took our first “city train” to meet Lecia and family at the airport. They arrived at about 2pm, only six hours later than planned, but luckily we were aware of the change. They were exhausted, but relieved and happy to arrive. You can imagine our excitement to meet our new niece and see baby Kai much bigger, running and talking!

The next few days were spent replenishing their lost energy from the jetlag and travel, especially difficult for Kai who caught croup on their first night. We spent our days checking out the beautiful Sydney Harbor, running up and down the Opera House steps, climbing trees, exploring the Royal Botanic Gardens and the Taronga Zoo. The children were giddy to be together when they were all awake and in good moods. Jacinta was in awe of the big “house buildings.” She, Genevieve and Kai all took turns pressing “the button” in the lift (elevator). Although I was a bit put out by the newly broken seatbelt on the stroller, Genevieve was elated as it meant she never had to sit in the stroller and could escape at any given moment. Jacinta was a trooper walking her little legs off in the city, but she got a few turns in the pram. Lecia and her family stayed in a nice hotel overlooking the harbor. The girls and I stayed a short train ride away at our friends Annie and Bernie’s house. We had the best of both worlds, home cooked dinners at night and proximity to the harbor in the daytime and a tiny baby to admire in both places. Annie and Bernie have a five month old girl, smiley and sweet just like my niece Paige. The train rides each morning and night with the girls were memorable. Genevieve tried to climb everything and escape at every stop, while Jacinta swung from pole to pole chatting with kind older women during her less energetic moments.

Jacinta has become quite a home body. On our first night sleeping at Annie and Bernie’s I lay down with Jacinta to help her sleep. After a few minutes of silence she calmly said, “Mommy, I want to be in my bed, at home.” She understood what we’d miss out if we never left home, but we all feel those pangs of desire for familiarity and comfort. I guess they come as young as four. She excitedly told a lady on a city train, “We’re taking a REAL train home today, to my REAL home, Macksville. Well we took that train with Lecia, Ben, Kai and Paige and here we are, in Macksville. I can’t express the feeling of completion I have now that my sister has been in my home. It’s as if this life here couldn’t be fully real until my mom, dad or sister came for a visit.

The children are playing hard, inside and out. It’s lovely to see Kai exploring the places that my girls explore, throwing seed for the chickens, cooking in their outdoor kitchen, painting on the easel with Evie, playing their musical instruments. He is truly a little music man. He has even sparked our girls’ interest in the musical toy basket again. He fell asleep the other night with the red ukulele in one hand and the tambourine in the other. Kai and Evie fight for space and over toys but forget about their struggles as little people do. Tonight our tired Jacinta went into her room and found Kai playing in her bed. She kindly informed him that she needed to go to bed. When Jacinta is exhausted at the end of her day, she sometimes snaps easily but not at Kai. He happily jumped around and tried to play with her, but this girl needed to sleep. He finally did leave her to sleep, good thing. It has been a big week.

Yesterday we belatedly celebrated Jacinta’s birthday with her friends and Lecia, Ben, Kai and Paige. It was just after the Winter Solstice so we had a bonfire, hot chocolate, roasted American marshmallows, burnt sparklers, put a spotlight on the playground, played in the dark and in the tent and at well. My Aussie friends got to meet my sister and her family and that completes yet another circle for me. So all is well. It may get crazy with four small or tiny children, but it is a lucky occasion.

I get to cook for my sister, cuddle her tiny baby and stoke up the fire to keep her warm after she crashes on the couch. Keith wakes up and starts the fire for them each morning as they are rising earlier than us Henry’s. He and Mary have both rocked Paige to sleep and watched over Kai as he wanders around the veranda bouncing from toy to toy. Matt plays the guitar with Kai and makes him laugh. Lecia and Ben actually like Matt’s home brew beer! After he bad mouthed it so much, I am shocked.
Matt is getting close to finishing the book, and is working hard on it any chance he gets. I am working hard to keep everyone happy, well fed and clear the floor before anyone trips on the musical instruments and smashed banana. We all have our own occupations.

Hope you enjoy your occupation too!

Peace,
Shana

Peeschool and baatime

Hello there. Hope you are all well this warm (for you and chilly for me) June evening. I have belatedly learned of the terrible flooding in certain parts of the US. My sister in Wisconsin had their carpet immediately replaced after their basement flooded in preparation to be away in Australia for the next few weeks. They are hoping to get up in the air tomorrow with no delay (heavy rain) and that they return to a dry house. I am truly out of the loop now, having only learned of the floods a week later. It seems that we at least have one thing in common weather wise: lots of rain. Although my aunt Janice tells me that in Montana they had no snow in winter and now have no rain and are in a major drought. If only we could share the wealth with the driest parts of the globe. Maybe someone will come up with the technology someday…then we’ll have to pay for rain! Hopefully not 

Things are good here, the girls have gotten through the worst of their colds, left only with a few coughs a day. I have not caught the infection yet and Matt is holding his at bay, somehow with very little sleep and a lot of work. Keith is having the roughest time of us all. Getting used to his stents is one issue, not being able to lift, having less energy are others. But now his chest infection has turned into pleurisy and keeps him awake from 11:30pm until 6:30am coughing. He then must sleep in the day and feels terrible. Keith is such a cockeyed optimist, it takes one to know one. Hearing him actually admit how bad he feels is a sign. He even accepts help now. Keith loves seeing the girls more than ever now, they bring him joy and a break from his long, silent, sleepless nights. He has less energy but always finds a way to make them happy anyway. Jacinta loves a good story anytime and will sit for as long as you will reading to her. She also finds a good drawing partner in Keith. He has the patience and focus that she needs. Unlike me who umms and ahhs while trying to do something else at the same time. The other day Jacinta tagged along to a nurse consultation with Keith. The nurse showed her a picture of Pop’s heart and what the stents looked like. Four year olds can not imagine the insides of a body, but she enjoyed herself nonetheless.

Genevieve is a busy little bee, she never stops moving or thinking. She doesn’t sit contentedly and smile like Jacinta did as a baby. The expression on her face is most often one of great concentration or mischief. When Evie gets too busy for Keith, he gets out the grapes to convince her to stay put. He holds her on his lap and helps her draw, but she wiggles free every other minute and then comes back a little later to climb up his chair again. Genevieve is the tiring one of my two so I try to keep her with me as much as possible. This increases her desire to escape my realm, forbidden fruits taste so much better!

Genevieve’s vocabulary is still exploding. Now she picks up little books with pictures and names things like, “key,” “roo (kangaroo),” and “cah (cat).” She asks for milk, dates, Jacinta’s friend Lilly, and “paydough.” She loves visiting Jess’s “peeschool” and especially loves, “baatime (bathtime).” She has started taking long naps in the middle of the day, which then keep her up rocking until 10pm. She spends the evenings rearranging the cupboards, taking out every item and filling up another shelf with her discoveries. It’s quite funny, and she’s great company. I surely love the break in the daytime. Jacinta and I really enjoy our time together. We do things we can not easily do in Evie’s presence like beading, reading or drawing together. One day this week we took down a little fence, dug up the poorly place fig tree and trimmed weeds. But I’ll admit, Genevieve had a tiny nap today and was asleep by 7pm tonight and I am thankful. There are benefits to short naps.

The girls were well enough to get back to our weekly outings like preschool, playgroup and choir. They enjoyed getting out and spending time with others, but otherwise we stayed home and enjoyed our lovely spot here. Now that the patterns have been established (no snacks unless breakfast and lunch are finished) Jacinta doesn’t bother whining, “I’m hungry.” She just waits until the next meal and hopes she’ll get something she likes. Less focus on food leaves space for different activities. Keith slept a lot in the day so we snuck around like little mice (he might not think so) and played outside and cleaned up around the place. I have really enjoyed preparing for my sister’s visit. No other time would I enjoy cleaning windows, knocking down wasp nests, cleaning up trash and clearing cob webs. Making up the beds for Paige and Kai was pretty fun.

Matt is no longer on call and is very happy with his renewed liberty. Jacinta started to commiserate with him by the end, “Oh no, the work phone again.” Between the calls, she and Matt painted some wooden checker pieces and she learned to play checkers (called drafts here). He works a bit each night on the book after putting the girls to bed. He is looking forward to the solitude this week when we will be in Sydney and plans to complete most of the book. Today he took the girls out to our friends’ house and left me to pack and prepare for my sister’s visit.

What a lovely day, a sigh of relief. I really needed some silence, solitude and hard work. I packed, cleaned, tried to make the outdoors a little more kid friendly and built a fire pit for Jacinta’s upcoming birthday party. Now I must finish preparing for our eight hour train ride tomorrow morning to Sydney. We all need a little luck this week: me on the train with wild child Evie trekking around Sydney on busses and trains with both girls, Matt with his book, and Keith with his health. My step dad needs a boost in his health too. My sister and her family board the plane to Sydney in a few hours. Wow.

If you are stuck in a flood, I wish you sun and dryness. If you are stuck in a drought, I wish you buckets of rain. If you are feeling tired and weak, I wish you the energy of a curious one year old.

Peace,
Shana

Hunting for pretty things

Good evening y’all. Jacinta is four now and seems bigger all of a sudden. She woke up Monday morning and truly felt as if she had grown taller overnight. Matt took the day off work so we had a long leisurely day opening gifts, playing with them, baking and eating treats. We thought we’d spread out the gift giving so she could truly appreciate each gift. She had opened up Keith and Mary’s gifts of clothing the day before so she woke and put them on right away. When she opened up her new bike helmet she put it on and wore it around the house. Then came the newly knitted belly warmer, added to the ensemble. Then came the new tap shoes to jazz up her outfit. Keith fixed up a little pink bike for her, adding a basket, bell and handle streamers. She happily rode this inside (it rained all morning), but was disgruntled to hear that you can’t ride a bike in tap shoes. My knitted mushrooms were still wet from felting the night before but nonetheless Jacinta found them while hunting around the house for gifts. Giddy from all the attention, Jacinta’s energy spilled over to Genevieve who was also excited all day. The piñata was quite a highlight. Although Evie had bitten off one of its noses, it was still strong enough to hold up to both girls whacking it with a cricket bat. We ended up holding it still so Jacinta could hit it hard enough to knock out all of the goodies: chocolate covered macadamia nuts, liquorice, carob buds and dried fruit. This would be the reason Jacinta didn’t want any lunch.

When asked what she got for her birthday Jacinta answers not with a litany of all the gifts, but says, “A Dora torch!” The simplest gifts make children so happy, a pink “squeeze” flashlight that my mom thought Jacinta might like. She particularly likes birthday cards. My friend dropped off a gift for her just before bed and Jacinta’s first comment was, “Where’s the card? Why didn’t Trish give me a card?” Matt’s sister called and asked what she had gotten for her birthday and Jacinta excitedly replied, “I got a birthday card with balloons on it!” Although she also loves her fancy new tap shoes, putting them on every morning and tapping around the house until we make her take them off. She wants to read her new books over and over. She was given a lot of really nice winter clothes, even a hand-knitted sweater vest made by my friend Trish. I love new clothes, so I was keen for her to try them all on straight away. She thought they were pretty, but wasn’t as interested in seeing if they fit, she is four. As the days went by, she eventually tried them all on. One day she said to me thoughtfully, “With all these new clothes I look like another person.” I asked her if that was okay and she smiled and said yes.

After all the thrills were over, Jacinta was anxious to see her friends. They were coming over for French class in the late afternoon. She was a bit confused as to why they weren’t coming for birthday cake. It is because we are waiting to have her party when my sister and her family arrive (this is very soon!), which Jacinta wanted to do, or said so a few weeks ago. In spite of Jacinta’s confusion, we had a fun French class while Genevieve napped. For the past few weeks Evie has been with us so we have stayed up close to the house. Without our youngest member, we ran down to the dam and threw in pebbles and played around. It turns out that all of the children were a bit under the weather, huffing and puffing after each activity. But Jacinta was fired up, she was four and proud of it!

The mass of vitamins, herbal concoctions, tissue salts and homeopathic remedies is also growing gradually each day. Matt and the girls are all sick. Nature has left me alone for the time being so I can care for them, thus I am exhausted. You know something must be wrong if I’m so busy fulfilling others’ needs that I skip breakfast. I’m busy spiking their juice with olive leaf extract, Echinacea, zinc, herbal teas and luckily, they can stomach it. The cough syrup I make is quite a hit, it’s hard to go wrong with anything honey-based. I try preparing broths and meals that would be healing as well as nourishing. In the past, the girls consumed what I “prescribed” in their weakened state, but neither Jacinta or Genevieve will get near them now. Understandable though, I must admit, the rice cooked in fish broth was a bit strange. But potato and corn chowder, how bad can that be? I know their appetites are tiny when ill, but I can’t tell if they are choosing starvation out of pickiness or if they honestly have no appetite. In her illness I am giving Genevieve mommy milk in the daytime again so she has an easy option. So I gave up. Aiming to spend more time cuddling and playing with my sick girls, I gave them peanut butter sandwiches for dinner one night. Matt had his newly rediscovered childhood fare, baked beans on toast while I ate the fishy rice that no one else would touch. It felt good and bit funny to be so slack for dinner, breaking routine is good for us all sometimes.

On Sunday my cooking attempts were so half-hearted that I burnt hard-boiled eggs!
How does one burn eggs cooked in water? Put a lid on and leave them boiling long enough that all the water disappears and the egg shells pop like popcorn. Imagine the smell and the shame. Keith helped me get over it and laugh it off though after he called me up from the compost to ask me what I was cooking. Gardening alone on a beautiful autumn day can do this to you, or maybe just me. Matt had taken the girls to town and up Mount Yarrahappini for a look around and I was feeling free. I can not even remember accomplishing anything, perhaps readying seedling trays for planting. Mostly I observed the sogginess in the garden and the lack of sun, reasons why seeds are not sprouting and plants are not growing very much. I came to the conclusion that I needed to cut down two big trees before I could really expect much more. I can’t cut down trees alone, and can not ask Matt or Keith for help anytime soon. I am at peace with this though, all things in time. I may not have a very productive garden now, but it sure is a peaceful place to be.

It has been a really peaceful week. The girls have had lingering colds for while so I decided that we would stay home all week and get rid of their colds. We skipped preschool and playgroup and rested at home. There were a few rainy days so we got a bit stir crazy, the car even got stuck in the mud. (It rained almost nine inches in one night.) Jacinta had a few long naps and read a lot of stories. Genevieve played and climbed as she does normally, just breaking down a bit earlier in the day for a nap. On the sunny days, it was really nice to just stay. It changes your whole outlook on a day, having nothing to guide you but the weather, your whims and your body’s needs. Laundry took us outside to the swing set, and to the shady line near loads of shady little nooks to play “hide the mushroom.” Jacinta found a feather and suggested we go on a feather hunt. She ran to fetch a treasure basket and once we started the hunt, she changed the plan, we were just looking for “pretty things.” She led us through the chook pen, through the garden shed into the orchard garden. One of the “pretty things” we found was the first ripe orange on our orange tree. It wasn’t very juicy, but surely bearable, not bad for the tree’s first efforts. Perhaps it’s equivalent to the first eggs a chicken might lay, a bit underdeveloped.

By Friday, Keith had towed our car out of the mud with his car and we were ready to go into town. Genevieve was having a terrible time sleeping and thus, we all were, and we needed food. Jacinta, almost healthy again and bubbling from having had a birthday proudly told all of the shopkeepers, “I’m four years old!” The doctor solved the mystery of Evie’s pain, an ear infection. So we went back to the health food shop and bought another homeopathic remedy. It was nice to be out on a sunny day and see some other humans. Now that we know, I can better help Evie sleep at night and not just treat her for a cold.

Last night I kept Genevieve elevated to 30 degrees and she actually slept in her crib, more comfortably than she could with me on the floor by the fire. She did wake every few hours though. Jacinta even woke up in the middle of the night, lucky I had fallen asleep at 7:30! Matt couldn’t sleep either. So while working on his book, he kindly came out and stoked up the fire for Jacinta, Evie and I every few hours.

So Matt is officially stressed about his book. It is crack down time, the deadline is coming up. He is not worried about the inability to finish it, more so realizing what it means in regards to his time with the girls and I. This week, to make it worse, he is on call for work. He has to answer his cell phone between the hours of 6am and 10pm and reschedule services for both clients who need to change times and for workers who are sick and need to find a replacement to service a client. Each case manager takes four weeks a year on call, and now is one of Matt’s weeks. Now he knows why people groan when speaking of being on call. Being sick, on call and working against a clock to finish a book is a bit much for one week, but the girls make him smile a lot. Communicating with inspiring people for his book, being employed, and looking at the stars at night make Matt smile too.

Although the house was trashed all week long, never getting a break from the little wrecking ball/ mess maker, I am finding peace within the mess. I am learning how to sit in it for a few minutes before I compulsively jump up and pointlessly try to clear the floor. I didn’t do much in the garden, but I made my girls smile, laugh and helped them to rest. I didn’t see many friends, but I snuck out Thursday night after the girls fell asleep for fifteen minutes of choir and sang my heart out. I don’t find many opportunities to speak French with French speakers or use any of my college education here, but I have found an organization with whom I can volunteer and do both of these things. After a few weeks of phone tag, I finally got in touch with Anglicare, the organization which works with newly immigrated African refugees. It looks like I’ll be able to start working with them sometime this winter. Genevieve has woken three times throughout this journal entry, crying for pain in her teeth and ears, but Matt and I finally got her back to sleep, again.

She is calling out again, but she will sleep sometime. So will I and so will Matt. Someday soon she will sleep through the night, and so will we. And Jacinta is four!
I hope you find time to go on a hunt for “pretty things.” There will surely be a few pretty things wherever you are.

Take care,
Shana