Jesus came back!

Just in case you didn’t know, Jesus came back this week. Well…..as a finger puppet in a manger. He was lost amongst all of the toys for a few months, and lo and behold as we were organizing toys on the new shelves, he was found. Matt and I were both in earshot and cracked up to hear Jacinta excitedly calling out from her bedroom, “Jesus came back! Jesus came back!” She hasn’t heard too much about Jesus yet, but knows that he is a special baby. She found the book of Jesus feeding 5000 and was confused on how Jesus could be so old, “That’s not Jesus, Jesus is a baby!”

Other than the second coming, this week has been quite peaceful. It rained the last four days and gave us all a reason to stay inside. I love rainy days not just because we need water, but also because they limit my options on activities. There are infinite possible activities each day. I suffer from too much choice. At least half of my options are cut off when it rains, life becomes simpler. We made soups, baked bread, made tortillas, made cards and played with blocks and dolls. When it rains, I feel more at ease sitting around feeding Genevieve, knitting and being sedentary. Matt feels good reading and writing until after a few dreary days the walls around him begin to feel claustrophobic. He commented today that he now understands why unemployed people sometimes get depressed and lose energy. Luckily we’re preparing for our trip to Michigan where he will be joyfully employed to do what he loves. There is always the question: should we work dull jobs solely for money and do what we love after work or work inspirational jobs so ardently that we have little energy to share at home? It is nice when one can find a balance, one day we will find jobs and hopefully this balance. For the time being, we don’t worry. We know that eventually we’ll get to know the right people around town and find an income. Connections seem to be the key to jobs in small towns.

Small towns may be hard for employment but are so nice for community. We have just started spending time with another awesome family who have a little boy Jacinta’s age. This week we ran into them both at the department store and at the fair.

They came for dinner on Wednesday night, we had Mexican. I had my first beef taco in many years, not bad! Sara and I are both food obsessed, while Matt and Alex are quite happy with meat pies and sausage rolls. Jacinta and Nicholas eat and love the same things and play amazingly well together. They have both just learned the art of cutting with scissors and can’t get enough practice on Jacinta’s new desk. Sara is in love with our little Genevieve and whisks her away to free me up whenever the little one is content. To top it off, Sara is interested in Creation Spirituality. Matt is quite pleased to share his insights with the first interested friend we have here. One great thing about a small town is that you run into friends everywhere. Perhaps this can be negative if you don’t want to be seen, like for teenagers doing naughty things. Hmmm…this could work to our advantage!

Jess enjoys going to town with all of us. We all have particular places that we take her: Matt takes her to the video store, I take her to the health food store, Mary takes her to the Short Order Café, and Keith takes her to the pet shop. But we all take her to the supermarket. She used to run around in the aisles, but recently she’s taken an interest in riding in shopping “trolleys.” She likes standing and hanging onto the back “like a big girl.” Today Keith took her and she asked him to give her a ride in the trolley. He put her in the back to have a seat. She asked him to put her in the front. Not having had children since they invented this cool little seat in the front of a cart, Keith was confused. “How are you going to fit in there darlin?” He put her in backwards, chuckling at her when a woman walked by and told him that there were indeed holes for her legs to stick out if she wanted to sit down. Keith laughed at himself and said, “You learn something new everyday.” Jacinta agreed, “Yes, you learn something new everyday.”

Jacinta was learning to swim for a few months at the local pool, but it has been over a month since the lessons ended. In an effort to keep it fresh in her mind I decided to take her to the indoor pool this week for a refresher. It was a strange idea to take a 2 year old and a newborn to the pool, but it worked out great! I sat on the edge of the pool with Genevieve lying on a blanket in between my legs. Jacinta swam in the lane with a ramp where it starts out one inch deep and gradually grows to four feet deep. She wore her goggles and dove for seashells. She showed me a few tricks, but spent most of the hour silently dancing through the water, relishing the feeling of weightlessness. Like a bird, she flapped her wings under water, curiously watching her arms and how slowly they floated up and down. It was so peaceful, yet strange. She is at the age when she calls for us to watch this trick and that, and makes sure we are watching. Yet this time, for the first time, I had to watch her like a hawk for an entire hour and she never once called for my attention or seemed to need interaction. Perhaps it’s that she knew I was watching and thus needed not ask, or that the water is what she was seeking for calm.

Genevieve has found a bit of peace in her short two months here on earth. She is a quiet baby when her belly is full and her nappy is dry. She prefers being in your arms, but is starting to accept lying flat as a viable option. Her tears can sometimes be stopped by a smile and a funny face. She notices a new voice in the room and tries turning her head to see who has entered. Evie’s eyes are so big and bright, it’s hard not to melt when she focuses on you. This week at choir, my friend Theresa took her for a few minutes while we were singing. Although she never cried or seemed sad, Genevieve kept her eyes locked on me for about ten minutes. It seems that in the moments when you gaze upon your baby in someone else’s arms you can feel overwhelmingly honored to have this lovely little being’s complete affection.

Matt and I are so lucky to both be at home right now with our girls. We are getting good at sharing the joy and work of it all. We take turns getting backaches from carrying Genevieve around the house, playing games and reading books with Jess, and the most coveted task: dealing with Jacinta when she is tired and contrary. I do the cooking and some cleaning, Matt takes care of the toilet and the cloth diapers. We are both tired by the end of the day, but enjoy our few hours alone once they have gone to sleep. Genevieve’s colic has perhaps gone. We have actually gotten a few nights together after the girls are sleeping, this is new. Evie used to exhaust us and by the time she gave in to sleep, I would too. Those few hours at night are so rejuvenating, and help us to enjoy our days with the girls even more.

Matt spends his days very busy, feeling obligated to be efficient all day long to make up for his lack of employment. I too spend my days quite busy, but some of my activities include sitting on the floor feeding Genevieve while playing blocks with Jacinta trying not to fall asleep or going to the pool. I did go to the doctor this week, and took the girls to the community health children’s doctor. But I also spent a day out in Stuart’s Point (a beach town) having lunch with friends, knitting, watching Jacinta jump on the trampoline, teaching her to ride her tricycle on a foot bridge over a river, passing around the baby and playing on the playground.

Matt takes care of all of our paperwork, which at present is a lot. Now that we have just taken care of Genevieve’s documents, we got a letter saying that we have three months to prepare my application for Permanent Residency. Problem: we are leaving in three weeks for America and will be gone for three months. It’s nice to have an “agent” to fill out my paperwork and make all of the annoying phone calls. This week in addition to paperwork Matt found time to do some writing, reading and camp preparation. He took the girls on a walk and left me completely alone and devoid of responsibility for the first time since Evie was born. Ahhhh…change is good. He also made some time for the garden.

The garden grows on, without much help from us humans. The citrus trees took quite a beating in the last few months. The mandarin tree is probably dead, a few others are on the way, all thanks to aphids who attack underloved and unattended trees. Matt bought some white oil and took Jess down one morning to spray the poor little trees. Perhaps they will make it. He has been building wooden boxes of our leftover weather boards to put around the base of each fruit tree. I have finally figured out the need to enclose a little ground to keep out weeds and hold in mulch and compost, rather than allowing it to wash away down the hill and into the dam. I come up with a problem and Matt builds something to fix it. It’s quite a good system I think! Michelle and Rory came over and we actually planted again! It has been a few months since we gardened together. It was great to get back out there together, this time with Genevieve in a carrier and Rory and Jacinta much bigger. We planted two terraces of garlic which will take about six months to grow. I have a few things growing which I will not be present to harvest: broad beans, peas, spinach and beets. Nonetheless, I am proud that the seeds came up, as they were seeds which I collected from last year’s crop. I love seeing the cycle of life complete, from seed to plant to flower to fruit to seed once again. And I’m just beginning this life of gardening!

Although she thinks that she is a big girl, Jacinta is really just beginning life, a life full of creativity. She sings full songs now with recognizable melodies, yet also makes up very silly words and puts them to music. She spends hours painting with her Pop and a few minutes here and there painting on her own. She is showing signs of perfectionism and this kills me. I try everything but never perfect anything, I just do it well enough to get by and enjoy it. Jacinta will rip a paper off of her easel if it doesn’t turn out. It depends on her mood, but usually she’ll ask ME to paint what she wants drawn, for example: mommy, Jacinta and Genevieve. She’ll draw the hair, the grass beneath our feet and the sunshine above our heads. She accidentally made Genevieve’s ponytail too big the other day. She cried because I would not start over so she could correct the hair. Later on I told her that I would no longer be drawing for her, but that she would have to draw on her own and that her aim needed to be enjoyment rather than a perfect ponytail. Her next picture she drew happily and beautifully: a bird in a bird bath. Matt and I marveled that she actually listens to these lessons and that her picture was truly beautiful and resembled a bird in a bath.

Life is too short to cry over messy ponytails. I hope you all enjoy whatever it is you create just for the fun of it. We will be seeing you soon!

Grace and Joy

G’day loved ones! Snicker snicker, I haven’t really taken on true Aussie language yet, nor do they all use this phrase. I just thought I’d vary my opening. We spent a few days obtaining Genevieve’s passport, just in time to leave for America in less than a month. Matt and Jess spent a few days with colds. But overall it has been an excellent week, especially for house organizing. As we prepare to leave this awesome house Matt has built, we’re finally getting around to putting it in order.

Matt built huge bookshelves for the living room and both bedrooms. They are beautiful and already filled with our beloved books. He had left space for built in bookshelves, but needed a building break. He had a good rest, and dove back into building this week. Putting things on shelves after having them strewn about and in boxes for a long while is such a lovely relief, creating order. Ahhhh....my whole being is honestly more at peace now, just from a few bookshelves. Matt has never had all of his books in one place, and now we have so many shelves that we can easily divide them into sections: cooking, gardening, French literature, poetry, theology, mysticism, music, Harry Potter, etc. Looking back at what we chose to ship overseas, it was mainly books, baby clothes and toys. It shows what we love I suppose, but clothing?? That’s me I suppose. As a baby, everything Jacinta wore or played with was a gift. Each gift makes me think of the giver and also of a certain time in Jacinta’s babyhood, thus I could not leave these behind. Luckily we had a girl to justify shipping all of these girly clothes! Funny enough though, contrary to my dislike of pink, I now look through the boxes for girly newborn clothes and can’t find many. It’s because you all heeded my words in avoiding pink and went neutral. Jacinta loves pink and wears as much as she can, not to be contrary but because she is a normal girl.

As of today, Jacinta is also at peace thanks to order. This morning as we cleaned up her boxes and baskets of toys from the floor and found them all homes on the new shelves, she rediscovered so many loved toys. “This is what I was looking for! My little bunny case! Where was it?” In the mess, that’s where. This is mainly the reason I despise toy boxes, because they get filled with unnecessary crap that sinks to the bottom and is never used. They exemplify our culture of accumulating useless junk and storing it out of sight until one day, there is so much that we have to find a new place to store it, although we may never use it again. This is not to say that she needs all of the toys she has. We don’t stray too far out of the norm, we just have shelves to display the overabundance of toys and books. Jacinta as an innately orderly little girl is for the first time able to find each and every toy and book she has.

She often has near break-downs when she can not force us all to obey the rules of normality. Keith might be cutting a banana for her, “but Mommy doesn’t cut it that way!” She can’t quite give him all of the right directions, but she knows that he is wrong, “umm..umm…she cuts it into bigga bits!” You can hear the nearness of the tears, all over a banana, or perhaps if you are helping her make animals with play dough. It’s a tricky balance avoiding these unnecessary stresses by either compromising or holding our ground in the fact that we all do things differently. One mantra that I have been using a lot this week is, “Jacinta, your job is to be a little girl and to play, not to worry about being in charge. That’s our job.” It’s funny because she used to get more worked up hearing that she wasn’t in charge. Sometimes she’ll proudly reply when I ask her to help out that, “I’m playing,” as if she’s throwing it back at me. I love it though, as it reminds me that she needs to play and can’t always be efficient like I try to be.

Jacinta is quite good at asking permission to do certain things, especially if it is concerning her little sister. She generally asks for things politely if she’s in a good mood saying Please and Thank you. The other day we were playing on our bed and she sweetly inquired, “Can I come up there and be sisters with Genevieve?” Genevieve was lying on a pillow, wide awake with her big blue eyes fixed on the curtains (her favorite thing to gaze upon). Immediately I thought to myself, “How much have I warned Jess about being careful around her sister, so much that she feels she needs permission to be her sister?” I went on about how they would always be sisters and that she never need ask permission. Lately I’ve been getting all sappy about how lucky she and Genevieve are to have each other and how much fun they’ll have when Evie gets a little older. I often think about my sister and how awesome growing up with her was, projecting that they too will get along as well as Lecia and I did. I can only hope that our girls will enjoy each other as much as Lecia and I do.

While we wait for Genevieve to grow up enough to play, Jacinta’s socializing revolves around which mothers I want to hang out with. I’ve found enough mums who value environmental and cultural awareness, good music, growing, cooking and eating good food to keep us busy until Jacinta has the freedom to choose her own friends. Then I guess I’ll have to schedule my own play days while Jacinta is at school, or maybe I’ll have to get a job by then! This week Michelle and Rory came over for a visit one day. The next day we left Matt home sick to go to my friend Jacky’s house so she could fix all of the errors I made in the few months as playgroup treasurer. For over a year Jess and Jack have gone to playgroup together and never once played together. Stuck in the same house for about 4 hours, they had a blast running around playing hide and seek, bowling, doing tricks on the furniture, and playing with the picnic set. All the while, Genevieve sat with me sleeping, pooping, feeding and smiling while I sat there feeling sheepish for never having tried to figure out my simple job as playgroup treasurer. By the end, we finally made it outside to have a look around the garden and let the children play. Jess was in heaven, a sandpit the size of our chicken pen and a swing set in your own back yard??? When I told her it was time to go, without whining she honestly told me that she wanted to stay and play, “just a little bit longer.” I repeated myself and she quickly brushed off and accepted her fate saying, “back to the mozzies (mosquitoes).”

That night we all went out to our friends’ house for dinner and a movie. The plan was that we’d have dinner, then Lily and Jess would try and sleep together in the same bed while we watched the movie. We knew it was highly unlikely, but thought it’d be fun trying and worth it to be able to go out after 6pm, Jacinta’s new bedtime. Her first sleepover was great fun. She and Lily had plenty of extra songs, stories and cuddles. Then Lily decided they would play dress up so they came out to show us a hat parade. It was cute until I made the mistake of threatening that if they didn’t go back to bed I’d take Jess home. Oooops! “I wanna go home!” she repeated for the next hour as I cuddled her to sleep in a different bed. She must have had fun trying because all day today she has been asking for another sleepover. Friday we played at another friends’ house way out in the country in a town with no shops within a 30 minute drive. I mention this because I went out assuming there would have to be a gas station. “How could people get along so far out with no gas station?” I thought. They think ahead, this is something I failed to do and later necessitated siphoning gas out of a water pump to get me home. Jess and I had a great time with our friends, enjoying good company, good food and a mosquito free, shady, flat backyard with roaming ducks, soft grass, and beautiful trees laden with citrus fruit which will soon be ripe.

All the while Matt was home working on Jacinta’s impressive bookshelves, happily though. This was a labor of love, even better than building the house, with the end in sight all the way from the beginning. There is a familiar pattern: today I took the girls out to the markets while Matt stayed home working all day on a surprise. Jacinta has not yet seen the surprise because he finished it after her bed time, but I just saw it. This is Matt’s finest piece of work yet, he will even admit it. It is a desk for the girls, with a backboard on it carved with the words, “Grace Joy” and with a picture of a bunny and a turtle. Matt used to call Jacinta Grace, “bunny bum,” and we now call Genevieve Joy a turtle. He is shocked that it took him all day to create this desk. Not I, it is a marvel and will make Jacinta smile tomorrow morning and for a long time to come. Matt had quite a productive week with all of this building, and even had some time to clear brush outside our window. He cut off one massive stump and is now burning it out slowly each day.

With all of my socializing and Matt’s building, I had no time in the garden but we had time to rush to Sydney for Genevieve’s passport. The girls were amazing travelers, Genevieve sleeping and Jacinta entertaining herself more than ever. After Matt’s hard work in preparation, the passport is secure and we have no worries. We got lucky and happened to make it in time to celebrate our good friends’ son’s first birthday party. We were lucky to be able to turn a stupid bureaucratic trip into a party and a chance to catch up with friends. Given all that good luck, we had to take our turn with bad luck also. Matt received a ticket in the mail saying that he owed $308 for “Negligent driving,” because he hit a kangaroo. The only reason the police were involved was because Matt responsibly called Wildlife Services to report the injured kangaroo. They called the police to come out and shoot the kangaroo. Voila, the $308 ticket to repay him for his troubles. As if he was aiming for the kangaroo, hoping to nearly total our car right before we were about to have a baby. He is contesting the fine, but isn’t that crazy?

I guess we need balance: it wouldn’t be fair if we were lucky all the time. It wouldn’t be good for any of us if we didn’t give and take, and mostly, Matt and I accept quite a few blessings. Right now Genevieve and Jacinta are sleeping and we are enjoying our time alone. Genevieve’s mouth is wide open from fatigue and she is happy and healthy. She makes lots of cute little baby sounds now, smiles, kicks and tries to crawl on her belly. Jacinta is growing into herself and is beautifully healthy. Here’s to you all accepting more good luck than bad luck.

Peace,

Shana

Check the website this week for some new pictures, pictures of shelves and the beloved desk!

This is what it says, Daddy!

Good evening y’all. I come to you after a long day with no nap with more energy than normal. I attribute my energy to both the joy of being small again and my new diet excluding dairy and most gluten products. Jess woke up at 5:20 today, each day it gets earlier. It’s a good thing I have more energy now, but Matt’s the one that gets out of bed at the crack of dawn with Jess. I have the excuse of having to feed Genevieve and thus stay in bed a little longer. Somehow in my morning stupor, I convince myself that either I am either presently feeding her or just about to feed her. Matt, in his morning stupor, is also convinced. It’s a good system I think! A few nights I have actually slept sitting up with Genevieve in my arms on the breast for over two hours and wake up with a terribly sore bum and very cold arms. I put her back in her basket hoping that it hasn’t been too long. Then the rooster crows and Genevieve starts grunting for her next feed. Does this mean it has been over three hours??!! Have I really wasted that much precious sleep? Living in ignorance without a clock in sight is sometimes better than confirmation of such a terrible waste of cozy sleep.

It has been a great week full of friends and family. Easter Sunday was spent with our good friends Craig and Anissa and their three children. After I wrote last week about a lesson I learned from last year’s Easter eggs, I painted 9 eggs with acrylic paint. I hid them in the garden for Jacinta and her two friends. The children had a lovely time hunting for the eggs, but two minutes into the hunt it started sprinkling. Shortly after, all three children had acrylic paint on their Easter clothes from the beautiful eggs. My new lesson: do not paint eggs if there is any chance of them getting wet. I suppose hiding them in the dewy spinach plant didn’t help. The children had a long fun-filled day: arts and crafts, hot cross buns, a big breakfast cooked entirely by Matt, toys, free play outside, cricket and sparklers (on Easter??!!!). Henry (3 weeks old) and Genevieve (6 weeks old) had a nice day feeding and being held. At one point Matt and Craig were sitting on the couch holding both babies while they slept, drinking coffee and having an incredibly intellectual conversation about all of the books from Matt’s collection above their heads. Anissa and I were both smiling inside thinking, “Wow, my brainy husband finally has someone at his level!” while doing dishes and helping the children make Easter hats.

Later on in the week we had a visit from our friends the Murphy’s and Jacinta had a chance to play with big kids. She is so proud to show people her house and explain each little part. Matt’s sister Allison came for a visit this weekend and when shown our bedroom, Jacinta was sure to point out the most important things. “This is mommy and daddy’s room. This is the dummy (pacifier) and this is the thing we use to pull snot out of Genevieve’s nose, the snotcher.” She says this in a very serious tone. She has made laugh so much this week. Keith and Mary came back from their vacation so now the house is full once again. It’s nice for Jacinta to have the freedom to spread her wings and fly to Keith and Mary when she needs a diversion. We are really loving the multi-generation family situation now.

Jacinta has turned over a new leaf in her play. Previously needing adult guidance and supervision, she is now learning to play with her friends all on her own. If we put the goat away she can play outside in her playhouse, climbing and doing tricks on the gate, chasing chickens and running around. She had a few friends visit this week who made playing outside even better. When at the beach with some playgroup friends her instinct was to hang around the moms and sit and munch all morning, but when told to go and play, she actually listened! No whining, no ifs, no buts, off she ran into the water to play with the other children. It’s new for me to not know about every game she plays. She laughs and creates with her friends and for the first time, she has parts of her life that I do not know. Of course, I can see what she is doing. When she inquires into adult conversations sometimes I tell her that “It’s big people stuff.” Now she says that “it’s little people stuff.”

What an interesting time, to have my big girl growing more and more independent each day, while my new tiny baby is so entirely dependent. Sometimes we’ll ask her what she said and she’ll reply, “I’m talking to myself.” She is very interested in learning the letters of the alphabet right now. We have a puzzle and some foam bath letters on the wall. When showing Allison the bathroom yesterday she pointed out the sink, the toilet and “this is I for Iris.” She is learning which letters belong to her friends’ names. She knows that J is for Jacinta and G is for Genevieve. Noticing the similarity in the sound yesterday she asked me, “Why is it not J for Genevieve?” Drop jawed, I could not answer. I just replied, “That’s just the way it is.” I’m not about to start explaining phonetics to my two year old. She pretends to read, mostly labels not books. Often she’ll read out loud, but softer than a whisper and I’ll ask her what she is doing. Aghast at the interruption she replies, “I’m reading!” and continues under her breath. Today we bought a special jar of mango paw paw jam at a festival. She was very excited to try the jam as she’s probably had jam five times in her life. This evening she grabbed the jar and held it out to Matt. She “read” the label to him, “Make some toast and put jam on it. That’s what it says Daddy.”

Speaking of food, we harvested green peppers, eggplant, pumpkin, green onions and mammoth cucumbers in the garden. Jacinta and I spent a few hours down there this week telling stories while weeding and playing with eggplant. We picked about 20 small eggplant. Naming them silly names kept us in the garden working for a good while. Jacinta is slightly obsessive about naming everything from animals to seeds to bits of paper she has cut, “This is the mommy, this is the daddy, this is the Jacinta and this is the Genevieve. I actually had to convince Jacinta to come back up to the house. What a nice change!

With Easter came a reason for Jacinta to have chocolate. She was given a tiny Easter bilby (bunny) with which we played hide and seek for over a week. I rediscovered the bilby yesterday and surprised Jacinta with it telling her that she could have a few bites. She bit off about 3% of the bilby amounting to less than 1/8 of a teaspoon and handed it back saying, “I’ve had enough mum.” Really??? Today she had the same amount and then asked if we could feed some to the fish while we were at the river in town. Laughing inside at what a sacrilege this would be deemed by many, I thought I’d humor her. Lo and behold, the one fish near the dock actually ate the small bit of chocolate. Who would have thought to feed a fish chocolate? Of course we’re proud that our little fruit bat is satisfied with so little. Matt takes credit for this, having taught her to take teeeeny bites. Maybe it’s really that he didn’t want to share.

Enough about our big girl, our little Evie is also well and growing like her big sister.

She doesn’t say funny things or test our boundaries, but moves along at a slower pace. Tortuga is what Matt calls her, his little tortuga (Spanish for turtle), it suits her at this stage. She is starting to make cute little sounds, trying out her vocal chords. It’s as if she is shocked after she makes a little noise (besides crying), perhaps wondering, “Hey, did I make that noise? How did I do that?” She is very cuddly, like a little koala. She is sleeping well at night and every other day catches up on sleep. She is much less colicky now and the last two days has shown no signs of unhappiness at all. It could just be a coincidence, but again, it is exactly two weeks since I broke my dairy fast and had lasagna. I kicked myself and said, well it will be another two weeks and it has. We’ll see if it works out. Wish us luck!

Matt worked a lot inside this week: preparing thoughts and material for camp, writing, and recording songs. He hopes to compile a few new cds for this summer when we come out to the only listeners we’ll ever have: church, camp and creation spirituality people. It’s been fun for me to hear the songs because typically he does not share half baked ideas, only completed songs so they’re all new and beautiful to me. One major drama came upon us about 30 hours ago, an urgent need to get Genevieve an American passport. Matt has done all of the work to obtain her birth certificate, Aussie passport and then an American visa in a timely manner. We were then told that a US visa would not be possible and that our dangerous 6 week old baby needed a US passport to gain entry into the US. It must be applied for by Monday to give us a chance to leave for the US on our planned date. We all have to be present so we will leave for another 6 hour drive to Sydney tomorrow morning at 6am. Matt is an amazingly efficient application preparer. In one day he filled out five applications, located all supporting documents, made copes of everything and listed all dates that we, as Genevieve’s parents, have been in and out of the US for our entire lives. I was proud that I actually got myself and the girls dressed this morning. It is indeed a good thing that I am not a single parent, I can’t imagine ever accomplishing anything outside of eating, cleaning and playing.

We are blessed to be free enough to drop everything to run to Sydney for a document.

We are blessed to have beautiful people to keep us happy in both Australia and the USA. Enjoy your many blessings for we all have quite a few. Wishing you all a lovely week.

Peace,

Shana

Goose tape

Happy Easter! This is what two teenage boys kindly said to the girls and I while passing us by sitting on a bench this morning, Saturday. Why mention this? Perhaps it was because they looked too cool to notice anyone outside of their age bracket or perhaps it was because it was not Easter Sunday, but the day before. Although Easter is even less religious here than it is in America, the children get a longer vacation from school in Australia. This may have the effect of making it more of a “season,” rather than a one day feast with the added bonus of Easter baskets and Easter eggs. Easter, by the church calendar lasts for seven Sundays beginning tomorrow, so it is truly a season. In some parts of the U.S. Easter symbolizes rebirth, fertility, budding trees and flowers after a long season of dormant life. Spring season goes along quite well with the theme of renaissance. Autumn is the season here in Australia. Plants and trees grow year round here, but there surely is no great burst of new life coming around Easter time. Eggs are of course, a symbol of fertility and are celebrated in many places on Easter. In America you can hardly miss the egg dying kits at the grocery store in March and April, but here, the egg dying kits are missing, unless I have just missed them. There are about a hundred different types of chocolate eggs or rabbits. The foil wrappers are colored so that must be enough. Tonight I will paint our hardboiled eggs for lack of dye. I learned my lesson on dying Easter eggs naturally last year: brown eggs don’t work, nor do my efforts using tumeric or beets for color.

Dying with beets, it may have also been the type of beet I used. It was the first beet harvest from my garden, an heirloom called Chioggia which was mostly white with a few red circles within. I tend to pick strange vegetables to learn how to grow, rather than your standard variety. It is quite typical of my personality, always having to try something new rather than sticking to things I know I like. Unfortunately, the “Minnesota Midget” cantaloupes I grew were tasteless and mushy, as were the miniature “Siberian” orange watermelons. The Chioggia beets tasted like radishes, but one success was the purple beans. I do actually look for the more standard seed varieties now. This week we harvested our first huge watermelon, grown from your average watermelon seed. Two weeks ago, I harvested one too early. This week Jacinta and I found one and were able to push our hands through the rind because we had let it rot in our efforts to assure it was ripe. I then asked Keith to check the last one’s ripeness, and it was ready! So all week long Jacinta and I have been feasting on home grown watermelon. We also harvested the last of the corn and a few more green peppers. Wandering through the garden Jacinta found a few late green beans and happily called out, “It’s bean season!” Matt asked her later on what she had found in the garden. “Did you find some….strawberries?” Jess replied as if he was terribly out of the loop, “No Dad, it’s not strawberry season!”

Jacinta is finally enjoying life outside again. It is cooler, windier, there is more shade, she no longer fears the goat and the mosquito population is decreasing. Today we went out quite a few times and never once put on bug spray. Perhaps we should have on one occasion, but otherwise, it was liberating to be bug spray free. The amount of laundry we do now takes us outside at least twice every day. When we hang clothes on the tall line, Jacinta and I take turns hiding and seeking toys in the bushes. This is slightly difficult with Genevieve in a carrier on my back, but often she’ll be inside with Matt. Jacinta again loves hanging diapers on the “baby line” and has mastered the art of a clothespin. She’ll put ten clothespins on one cloth, saying to herself in advance, “This one needs A LOT of pegs, yeah.” For a while, she would try and whine her way out of coming outside with me to help or play nearby. She would whine while outside that she was ready to go back inside. Now she’ll join me and find entertainment easily. Yesterday I told her I’d be outside bringing in nappies if she wanted to join me. A few minutes later she ran out with her boots on and said, “I’m just going for a little run. Do you wanna run with me?”

Keith and Mary are away for while, so we are feeding the dog, chickens and goat. I missed helping out with this while I was pregnant, so I am grateful to have my body back now. Jacinta and I love throwing the seed up in the air and watching it fall down like snow, although I find grains in our clothes later on. We have won Daisy the goat over in learning how to feed her out of the palms of our hands like Keith does. This goat is like a dog in that Keith treats her like a loving cuddly dog that needs love, attention, hand-feeding and walks at night. She has come to expect this, so it is the only way to avoid her horns in your stomach or rear end. Of course we are still wary and careful, but seeing Jess feed this goat out of her little hand is amazing after hearing her scream at the sight of the goat last week. Children seem to pick up and mimic our fears so naturally, but luckily, they also mimic our positive feelings towards the very same things they once feared.

Fear is also something that was keeping Genevieve out of the garden, and thus Jacinta and I. It is a fear of snakes, spiders and mosquitoes, all valid fears for a newborn. This week though, I wore Genevieve in the carrier for a while, then set up her ‘Moses basket’ on a table in the shed. I strung up a mosquito net to keep her safe. This allowed Jacinta and I the time to water and fertilize all of the fruit trees. The citrus trees look terrible, well, half of them were almost destroyed by aphids while I was busy having a baby. We may be able to save them, this is our goal before we leave for the US. Matt started shredding more trees this week to make mulch. Next week we will start building wooden frames around each one to hold the mulch, compost and fertilizer from rolling down the hill in the rain. Strangely, the cold weather trees (pear, apples, plums, and nectarine) are growing stronger than anything and look great. Today Matt and I took the girls to a tree fair to pick out a special tree to plant for each of them. Jacinta is excited about taking care of her fig tree. Genevieve’s tree is a pecan tree. It seems silly planting any more trees when we have a hard time keeping up with the trees we already have, but we wanted to honor Genevieve’s birth with a tree and Jacinta in her new role as a big sister.

Genevieve is doing great, growing, eating, pooping, sleeping well at night after working through her colicky evenings. She smiles and curiously looks around when she is awake. She is growing more alert each day. We received a huge box of Jacinta’s and her cousin’s baby clothes in the mail, so Genevieve is now even better dressed than she was before! She has finally grown into the smallest hat we have. She still has hair. She still suffers from colic in the evenings, but can often be appeased by a dry diaper, a swaddle, a rocking mom or dad, a candle and a pacifier, all at once. Jacinta’s answer every time she cries is to give her a cuddle, and say, “Give her some milk mum!” She was asleep by 7:30 tonight so we fear a 3am wake up. She actually sleeps about 4 hours at a time at night, waking only for diaper changes and milk. We are thankful that the nights are pretty good as we live into our new life with no afternoon break or nap. It was very hard for me to give this up, but I am finally letting go and embracing the new flow of the day. The evenings are longer now since Jacinta goes to sleep so early and going out in the afternoon is now possible.

One afternoon this week, we had a family dentist outing. Jacinta’s first dental experience was exciting, especially watching them work on Matt. Matt and I both need to return for more work, but we knew this would be the case. Only disappointment: they don’t give out free toothbrushes in Australia but sell them at the front desk. We also went to the beach with some friends, including Jacinta’s new friend Nicholas. They are only a few weeks apart in age, and quite similar developmentally so they play really well together. I have never see Jacinta able to play with another child and need no adult direction or support. Nicholas’s mom and I breathed a huge sigh of relief while we sat in the shade watching our little ones laugh and play in the wet sand, without us.

Eating has not been such a drama this week as I’m learning to eat dairy free. I can’t say I’m effectively doing the elimination diet, but I’m limiting myself. I really love fish and rice now. The type of fish changes each day, but I’m sticking to the same preparation. I grease a small baking dish with olive oil. Pour a tablespoon of oil on top of the fish. Sprinkle salt, pepper and fennel seeds on fish. Rub it all in and coat with crushed nuts (macadamias). Bake on 450 for about 10 minutes. For a sanguine who thrives on change, this diet is teaching me to enjoy familiarity. Jess learned a new skill in the kitchen this week, peeling carrots all by herself. She has renewed interest in cooking now, feeling slightly empowered with a peeler.

Matt has been reading, writing, fathering, mulching, cleaning, and laundering this week. He is the “nappy man,” and takes care of all dirty diapers. He is also the toilet maintenance man for our composting toilet, he probably spends about twenty minutes a week keeping it clean and efficiently composting. I feel so lucky to be exempt from these tasks. One sad part of this week was a loss of technology, our Ipod broke. Matt used it quite often but we had just begun really using it to listen to podcasts together for evening entertainment. Days later, Matt finally called a place in Sydney to repair it. While the phone was ringing, the Ipod came back to life. Miracle!

So life is good. Genevieve is learning to deal with food in her belly, I am learning to be more flexible in who I am, Jess is learning to make jokes, and Matt already knows everything, just kidding. Today Jacinta giggled and asked, “Why don’t they call duct tape goose tape?” I didn’t bother explaining that a duck is not a duct since I just learned a few years ago that it is not called “duck tape.” (Although Matt now informs me that Duck Tape is a brand of duct tape…)

The moon has been so bright all week long that our bathroom’s skylight has lit up the bathroom at night. Tomorrow is Easter and we will celebrate with friends. We will celebrate new life, rebirth and overwhelming love with Jacinta and Genevieve, our most recent manifestation of love and new life. We wish you all a lovely Easter season.

Peace,

Shana

When you're not looking

Good evening :) It has been such a long week I can hardly remember what has gone on. This weekend Matt and I took the girls to Sydney for some visiting. Life with two children is so unbelievably different than life with an only child. I could say tiring, yes, but that would be leaving out the extra joy Genevieve adds to the family. The other day a friend of mine commented that her toddler began his tantrums the day his new little brother was born and that he became a whole new child. That made it all feel more normal, but Jacinta’s tantrums started well before Genevieve’s birth. Does this mean she is advanced???

Learning that the earth does not revolve around you alone must be a hard lesson to learn. I was the second child, so I knew the earth revolved around at least my sister and I. It is a good lesson to learn early on, but is not so easily taken, even when there’s more than enough love flowing around to be shared. Of course Jacinta would never say she was jealous or sad because of Genevieve, but her sadness surely comes out in other forms. She knows the word, “snotty” quite well and understands that she will be reprimanded for being snotty. It is often the word she uses when apologizing for bad behavior, “I’m sorry for being snotty Daddy.” She is looking for boundaries with great vigor and testing our endurance. I’ll admit that some days I don’t have the energy to outlast her insistence, but I know that if I give in now due to fatigue, I will be one tired woman for the next eighteen years. I said to her one day, “Jacinta, stop jumping off of the couch.” She honestly replied, “I do that when you’re not looking.” We then talked about it, but I heard the same response to a correction from Matt later on. Honesty, wow. I suppose it’s not our job to teach her when keeping your mouth shut might get you further than complete honesty, although I’m sure she’ll learn soon enough.

Of course, honesty is the best policy, as our parents taught us. Seeing her little sister in our arms most of the time had made Jacinta much more interested in cuddles. In the past, she snottily refused Matt’s affection from time to time. Now, she can’t get enough. Starting out the week with daylight savings, Jacinta began waking before 6am and also stopped napping. Matt and I are suffering from sleep deprivation, but knew the end of the nap was coming. She’s a real big sister now. How could she possibly take a nap? No matter how tired she is, she grasps at straws to stay awake and succeeds until about 6 or 7pm. In her fatigue, she sometimes gets lost and doesn’t know what to do with herself. The other day she was beginning a whiny episode of misbehaving and finally verbalized what she really needed. We were in her bedroom playing while I was holding Genevieve and Jess quietly whined, “I wanna be in daddy’s arms.” Most times she responds to fatigue or sadness with misbehavior or a sullen silence, but sometimes she honestly knows what she needs. Matt heard her from the other room and quickly swept her up for some love, cuddles and attention.

As I contemplate what to write next, I realize how little I have to say about life outside of my children. Life has changed, although I do hope to get back into thinking about the world outside of our five acres pretty soon! So excuse my lack of worldliness for a while, and try to keep me informed on any world issues that I should really be contemplating :) I am still passionate about the earth, inequality and my friends and family, near and far, but I’m just not up to date. It’s strange not to be learning anything from books or media, but only from my children, friends and the plants and animals surrounding me. Matt has taken a dive into his studies and writing, and feels terrible when he is not seeping up or creating new information. I suppose I am starting to feel a tinge of this need, but know that in a few months Genevieve will get through colic. We’ll get more sleep, the mosquitoes will die, I’ll be able to fit in some more study time on plants and we’ll get back in the garden to try out new ideas. For now, I have fallen in love with a new daughter and a whole new Jacinta, I am falling in love with new friends, and falling out of love with food.

This is not to say that I don’t care what I eat, but more so that food is now much less exciting. I have given up most foods and spices in the hopes of clearing up Genevieve’s colic. A few weeks ago I gave up dairy, which is hard enough. Last week I began an elimination diet in search of the culprits, the foods which Genevieve’s little system can not handle. I started out one day with rice, eggs and bananas. The next day I replaced the eggs with fish and added some nuts. I then added a few fruits and a few vegetables. By Thursday, Genevieve’s colic was gone! No crying on Thursday, Friday or Saturday. Saturday night I ate lasagne, and it was so good, but Genevieve is now on her second night of pain from the cheese, I think. We had a three night holiday from colic, but are now back to bouncing, rocking back and forth staring at lights and candles, and feeling bad for Evie’s little belly while she doubles over and screams. We hope the dairy leaves my system quickly and that the colic disappears once again. I will have learned my lesson. It’s a sacrifice that I am happy to make, but it is so strange having such a boring diet all of the sudden. Typically I dedicate so much energy to what and how I will prepare meals. Now, it’s pretty basic. How many ways can you prepare fish and rice with no spices? I use fennel because it reduces colic in babies, and luckily it goes quite well with fish! A fellow food-lover friend of mine has also given up most foods in search of a solution to her baby’s eczema. Unfortunately, the culprit is not yet forthcoming and it is very frustrating. We feel quite hopeful this week, but the last two night’s crying make me feel guiltier than ever.

Genevieve is doing well besides her tight little tummy. She can roll from her front to her back because she hates being on her belly unless she is sleeping. She’ll hold her head up high and strong to follow you or the sounds you make with her eyes and look intensely into your eyes until she loses energy and drops her head all of the sudden. The three nights without colic, she caught up on lost sleep wasted on crying and began making new noises. I suppose she figured, “Wow, what do I do with all this time? I don’t feel like crying, but I want to be heard. I’ll make a cute little happy sound and then they’ll ooh and ahh over me.” If she actually thought it all out, she was right. She is growing, as babies do, but I can’t tell you how much. She hasn’t lost her hair yet, but her scaly skin, yes. When she is awake, her eyes are wide open and quite intense. She loves watching shadows moving, and is really starting to take notice of Jacinta. Like all babies, little Evie loves holding your fingers and being held by loving arms. Once asleep she likes to be held for at least thirty minutes before being set down if she is to remain asleep. Last week she slept through all two hours of playgroup, held in the arms of many women, none of which she ever saw. She also came along to choir and was amazed all throughout with her eyes wide open, again being passed from arm to arm.

Jacinta was sad to miss choir but with her new schedule, she is going to bed by the time choir gets going. All on her own though, she began singing scales this week, using words. She’ll sing up and down five notes “two pretty babies, two pretty babies, two pretty babies ,” etc. Matt too has a new schedule in that he is trying to write between 9:30 and 3:30, so this has given the girls and I a little more routine. In the mornings when Genevieve lies down for a nap, Jacinta and I have some time in the garden. I have finally convinced her that gardening is fun again, it was hard though. She was out of practice. How strange that I have to convince my daughter to play outside rather than inside. Another new routine for Jess is having painting “lessons” with her Pop who is a talented artist. She loves the one-on-one, the concentration and just being with Keith. She also goes out with Matt each day after he finishes writing. So after years of having very little routine in her life, she is finally able to expect certain things in the day. For a little Gemini who thrives on order and patterns, this seems to make her happy. I referred to her jokingly one day as the “queen of order,” and she quickly repeated it and giggled as if she understood. When organizing things, I may try and hurry her up. She politely explains what she is doing and that “This is very important.”

This may be a theme in her life, not wanting to be hurried. But this is just what parents do, hurry their slow poke children along on the sidewalks, getting into the car, getting shoes on, getting off of the toilet, getting dressed in the morning, and on and on. This weekend we visited Matt’s dad and Carolyn, some close friends in Sydney and Matt’s sister Louise and her family. Hellos are easy, but each time we went to say goodbye Jacinta retracted. She refused to give hugs or kisses. She sulked and tried to hide in my arms. We thought she was just being snotty, but later on thought it may have been the sadness of saying hello and goodbye so quickly. It is a sad way to see people, to leave as quickly as you settle down, but it is our modern day society. We don’t stay in one place for very long.

The inspiration for our first trip to Sydney with two children was to see a concert at the Sydney Opera House. Michael Leunig’s poems were to be sung by Gyan, a woman with a lovely voice and some other amazing musicians, while Michael illustrated the lyrics on an overhead screen for all to see. Leunig is a brilliant poet and cartoonist that Matt and I have both loved and read for many years, so this was a great opportunity. The performance was awesome, our two girls were lovely to have along and Matt and I were in heaven for a few hours. Seeing people out after dark was great. Being in the bright lights of the city was also a nice change, if you can believe I actually appreciate bright city lights.

I’ll close with a poem by Michael Leunig which was sung this weekend.

The Summer Palace

Make a little garden in your pocket.

Plant your cuffs with radishes and rocket.

Let a passion fruit crawl up your thigh.

Grow some oregano in your fly.

Make a steamy compost of your fears.

Trickle irrigate your life with tears.

Let your troubled mind become a trellis.

Turn your heart into a summer palace.

Peace,

Shana