I Did It!

Growth...that's what I have been watching this week, both watching our big baby Jacinta turn into a real chatty "self sufficient" two-year old who is not yet two and Lecia and Ben's little baby Kai grow into a smiley little boy who can just about hold his head up. I am technically on vacation so there is nothing I really have to do outside of loving and caring for Jacinta and catching up with loved ones. Thus I have lots of time to observe Jacinta and Kai without trying to be productive. Though being on vacation for one month with no purpose would be too much for me so I have enjoyed cooking and helping my sister out. Outside of a few walks in the chilly spring air, a trip to the zoo, a trip to the new Milwaukee market and running errands we have been homebodies.

Given so much time to contemplate, of course I began comparing suburban life to country life. Without going into too much gory detail, I've come to the conclusion that no matter where you are, if you are able to "create," one can find happiness. Many people nowadays work in jobs that demand no positive creativity, return home to watch other people be creative on television, and warm up dinners created by other people and/or their machines. People in the city, the suburbs and in rural areas do this. I think this is where the general societal malaise comes from, lack of creative energy. This is no news to anyone, but what is new to me is that I now live in a place where there is nothing but positive creative energy surrounding me just in the land and its bounty. Naively, I couldn't imagine this type of media-dependence or junk food dependence being present in such a productive land but I've found that it is present anywhere creativity has been lost. In speaking to a woman at playgroup in Macksville, I asked her 4 year-old daughter how her summer was and her mum answered for her, "Terrible! It was just so hot we had to stay inside in the air-conditioning and the kids watched television constantly...it was just awful" This was a choice.

Other than being just downright judgemental and arrogant to think that if only I ran the world we could all be happy, well...I had quite a nice week. I'm getting to know my sister as a mom and an auntie, and Ben as a daddy and an energetic uncle. What a change to take our kids to the zoo together thinking back to fighting about which animal to visit next when our parents took us to the zoo as kids. Jess is playing the big girl role "helping" baby Kai in every way possible. She is not jeolous but certainly needs to get in on all of the action with the baby. If she catches me holding on to Kai for too long, she demands, "two babies!" This means that I need to either pick her up with my empty arm or sit down and hold both of them on the rocking chair. If we all cuddle in the rocking chair, she spends the whole time trying to cover us all up with one small baby blanket, fluffing and spreading out the blanket to make it just right. Tonight I solved the "two babies!" question by holding Kai with one arm and holding Jess' hand swinging around dancing with my other hand.

Jacinta is speaking in short sentences now, and I am shocked daily at what she has picked up. I was a French teacher who tried to teach as if my students were babies learning a mother tongue, total immersion. Now for the first time watching a child learn to speak, I approve more and more of that style of teaching language. After so much absorption, the words are just spilling out of her mouth. She's got the possessive "s" down, "baby Kai's house, "Jess's chair" "daddy's coffee," and is starting to say "I" instead of "you," when speaking in first person. She can now listen to stories without pictures about daily life and take part in reliving the story. Today we went to a park on Lake Michigan with a great little jungle gym. Grandma and Dja Dja were with us and we were all sitting and watching Jacinta discover how much she could do without our help. She came to one ladder and asked for help. After one time with assistance Jess attempted to climb that same ladder alone, arrived at the top and yelled, "I did it!" Every time she did it, she yelled that proud phrase out again, "I did it!"

This has been a time to treasure. I've been with my family for two weeks now, and I still have two more weeks to see the rest of my family and friends here in the US. I miss Matt, Keith and Mary, my friends and my garden. I relent that I'm missing out on the lettuce I planted, hoping that my peas aren't getting too out of control, but know that Matt is watering so there's no worry. I wonder what autumn is like in Australia as this is my first one, but know that missing out on a bit of it is definitely worth it. Jess and I spend time out in the yard here picking up sticks, lying down looking up at the opening buds on the trees, making "soup," "mint tea, and "Daddy's coffee" out of grass, flowers and bark. Soccer moms in SUVs drive by and get a kick out of our unhurried presence in the grass. Jess still asks to see Rory and consoles herself that she'll see him "soon," but also talks about seeing Iris and Otto here in the US, "soon!" Today while rocking warm and cuddly Kai in his cozy room, listening to "You are My Sunshine," with Jess spinning around me, Lecia cleaning up Kai's changing table and my mom nearby I silently shed a few tears knowing what a beautiful time this was and how I'd probably re-create it a million times later on in life and cry at how seldom it happened. The wonderful thing is that it did happen.

Once again, I'll close with a story about our sweet little Jacinta. It was breakfast and she was sitting on the counter helping me prepare the oatmeal as she always does. We had already put the pot on the stove and I came back to mash the banana in our bowls. Jess threw her arms around me and said "I love you," and I melted. I replied, "I love you too Jacinta." She hugged me a little longer and then I asked her, "Do you know who else loves you?" "Daddy," she said...."Daddy loves you." "Yes," I said, chuckling at her misuse of the first person,"Daddy loves you."

Good night everybody.

Home

It is hard to believe that just one week ago Jacinta and I boarded an airplane (the first of four that 36 hour long day) on Easter Sunday. Having heard tales of her daddy “flying,” she slightly understood what was happening when we buckled our seatbelts on the first little 45 minute plane ride to Sydney. Her tears were not due to fear of flying, nor the knowledge that she’d be far away from her dad, her friends, or her animals. The tears came because she did NOT want to sit on my lap for take off, she wanted her own seat! Luckily our stuffed Ghandi doll was close at hand along with a few strands of yarn to tie around his arms and legs as jewelry and sandals.

After a lovely 3 hour layover in Sydney where Jess and I met up with Matt’s sister Allison, lovely for the company and the extra hands, we almost missed our plane to Los Angeles. “Lollygagging” would be the only explanation for this. Picture this…. wandering slowly through the final terminal with Jess at my side frolicking to and fro, gazing at all of the brightly lit stores with no idea which gate we are actually going to and the announcer calls out…”Gate 56B flight 863 to Los Angeles is now closed.” Ahhhh!!! I’ve never been so close to a heart attack nor have I hyperventilated, but this time I did. Jacinta felt my pain and took it upon herself to run along side of me and chant, “running…running… running.” Sparing you too much detail, we got on the plane somehow and even had a bulkhead seat (with no seats in front of us). It took me a few minutes to regain my breath but within seconds Jacinta had found a buddy in the seat next to her, a sweet quiet sixth grade boy. Other than the food, this 14 hour flight was not too hard thanks to the extra floor space, the little boy and Jacinta’s positive spirit.

As I said, the flight was not difficult, but sad for a few minutes, yes. It was “bed time” (how can this be determined on a 14 hour flight when the time change is about 14 hours???) and everyone else was putting on their blankets and eye covers. We brushed our teeth, changed the nappy, changed into jammies, and read a story. But how can this be “bed?” Jacinta wondered. She cried out “home” for the first time, and through tears asked for all of the signs of bedtime at home, “daddy, candle, crib” but none could I offer outside of a book, a blanket, my arms and a pillow. She wanted to lay flat, and my lap wasn’t working so she would cry, “home” and eventually asked to sleep on the “floor.” Still whimpering, her little friend passed her a stuffed koala souvenir to cuddle and she fell asleep. So all “night” long I slept with one eye open, my baby locked in between my feet on the floor, picking her up every time the seatbelt sign reappeared. We made it through this flight and the next two without many glitches. Jess also found a new love for pantyhose, funny. She caught about 3 different airline attendants and started rubbing their pantyhose, and later got my mom too! On the third flight, Jess accidentally tipped a glass of ice water in my lap and I about lost it. But another angel came to the rescue: the lady next to us found a new seat and thus provided us with her dry seat for the last 2 hours of the flight. On our last layover, in Denver, Jess and I got to sleep for 90 minutes on a nice flat airport floor, again with Jess’s stroller locked in between my legs. If you can believe it, we arrived at 9:30pm at our final destination, Billings, Montana and it was still Easter! Mom and cousin Phil greeted us off the airplane with a stuffed bunny and wide open arms. Jess knew ”Grandma” as if we had left the US yesterday. That night we stayed up until midnight, played and ate, enjoyed the space and the familiar company. After a bit of a cry for “home” again, we had the best sleep ever.

On Monday, Mom, George, cousin Phil, Jess and I drove the 4 hour journey out to Sidney Montana where my Grandpa Norby was to be buried. After a long and fruitful life of 86 years Grandpa got to go home. To celebrate his life his big family all made the journey home to do this together. He had 5 children, 4 of whom are still on earth, 13 grandchildren, and 10 great grandchildren. Grandpa was a “quietish” farmer who made you think, laugh, love, work hard, and hold his hand. Although he always had clear control, he let you think you were right and much smarter than he was. He taught us all different lessons, but perhaps the biggest one that I inherited from Grandpa was his affection and need to touch people. It was a true blessing and honor for me to be involved in the funeral, to hear the stories of Sioux Pass and how Grandpa enchanted it for so long. Over the past ten years I have envied my cousins who had the chance to grow up on the farm near Grandpa and Grandma and perhaps this is one of the reasons that I’m a wanna-be farmer. I’ll never drive a tractor, and sure as hell won’t ever have 2200 acres, but I’ll try in my own way I suppose.

Besides greater love for my Grandpa as a thought for the week, I had a lot of time to ponder the severe effects of the global corporatization of food on communities such as Sioux Pass. We always heard stories of the local school, the local dance hall, places where members of the community would meet and digest life together. This is no news to anyone, especially the farmers in the deserted communities, but huge farms don’t make having neighbors or community very easy. Terribly low prices on grains and vegetables determined by the global market don’t entice young hopeful farmers. The global market knows nothing about individual communities except that it forces them to buy commodities grown in countries where the farmers make even less money than they do. It may make “economic sense” but what does that mean in a community? It means driving between 30 minutes (using petroleum) and 3 hours for cheaper goods, not necessarily nutritious or high quality goods, but cheap enough to be paid for with the meager earnings of a farmer paying off debts to the government for big tractors. There are no schools in Sioux Pass, no halls, no stores. Grandpa bought his farm somewhere in the midst of the Green Revolution right after World War 2 so it was never small, it could not be small if he wanted to make a living. It makes me wonder how big farms were before the war, before big tractors and pesticides became a necessary but expensive part of farming.

It was strange being an outsider to all of Grandpa’s extended family and friends, wishing I had been there, but yet knowing how hard it must be watching the last few members of your community pass away not knowing whose kids would actually want to farm the land. Grandpa has one daughter still farming and one grandson who will probably keep the tradition. At present, I don’t count myself yet because I am still a city girl with hippy ideals of going back to the land to love it. I am not a farmer who has been born and bred in the ways of a cattle rancher. I have no knowledge of any specific patch of land or its history, I’ve never lived anywhere longer than 10 years. I’ve been reading some Wendell Berry and I am beginning to share his opinion that we must learn from the land we live on. He believes that we must go back in its history and stop looking on other horizons for answers. The answers can not be global, they must be local or else we will destroy the land upon which we depend. Each community is unique. He says that if the current humans on a bit of land are disrespecting it, then we must go back and catch the few who knew its secrets before they die.

What a strange thought for me to allow into my head after all of my searching in other countries, my degree in French and International Studies, my passion for other cultures and learning their ways. We’ll see how far it goes because it does seem to hold a bit of truth, especially given the nasty array of homogenous superstores and strip malls strewn across the globe. How can we all want the same thing when we are all so awesomely unique? Perhaps it’s the ads that convince us of our own homogeneity and how we should all want the same thing…freedom to consume and unconsciously exploit the land and its inhabitants. There must be a balance though, the world is already so beautifully mixed up and I LOVE being able to explore its wonders.

On that note, exploring we did….with Lecia and Ben in the front, Kai (7 weeks old) on my right and Jess on my left and our baggage crowding out every spare inch of the car, we drove back to Milwaukee. The first day we made it about 45 minutes before we hit a snow storm and had to stop at a hotel for the night. Snow! I had wished for it so mnay times over the past six months, but in April??? When Jess first saw it out the window she said, “Bubbles!” Unfortunately the wind was so severe, and I did not pack us coats, mittens or boots so we could not go out and play. The best thing is that I was with my sister, her husband and their new baby boy, and that Jess had her auntie, uncle and “baby Kai,” to entertain her. All day long Jess laughed and made us all smile, but bed time was still hard. This was the 4th and last night that Jacinta cried herself to sleep whimpering, “home.”

The next day we drove from 9am until 4pm to arrive at Ben’s grandma’s farm in Edinburg, North Dakota, and there was no sight of snow anywhere! En route we stopped every 2 hours for Kai to feed and Jess to play. Once we stopped at a mall that looked exactly the same as every other mall in the US I’ve seen and picked up a wooden toy and some crayons for Jess. Next stop was lunch at a small café where Jess had her first meal all to herself, eggs and pancakes. This was at the “geographical center of North America,” in Rugby, North Dakota. Finally we arrived at the farm and seeing cows was just what Jess needed. It was calving time so “babies” were everywhere. It is spring, the trees are budding, the colors are gentle, the hay is moist and it smells like mud. For the next 2 days we played with burrs, sat on tractors, climbed on haystacks, mooed with the cows and played with baby Kai.

Jacinta is in love with her little cousin. After meeting Kai for the first time, she was allowed to hold his tiny hand. She would quietly marvel, “Hand! Hand!” After a few minutes she said…”like him.” Each day she grows bolder and her touch is not as gentle, but she just wants to touch him. Across the car she would beg, “touch him? Touch him?” At each rest stop she got to touch him after he had his “milk.” She misses her silly daddy, but her uncle Ben is doing a good job making her laugh and being the male she is used to. When she “toots” though, she still blames it on “daddy, Jedda,” or sometimes “mommy!”

On Friday we drove another 8 hour day with our destination as Minneapolis. It was so good to arrive at our aunt and uncle’s on the lake. They are grandparents extraordinaire and made our night cozy, happy and nourishing. We finished off the night looking through old photo albums of Grandpa’s. By Saturday noon we were in the car for another 8 hour drive finally arriving in Milwaukee, our final destination by 8:30pm. We stopped a few times, once at a cranberry town to learn about cranberries. Jacinta psyched herself up a few hours before arrival that this was going to be “home.” That it is, for over a week. We are thrilled to stop moving and spend some time in a familiar place with people we love. Jacinta put out a bowl of grapes to share with Rory today, she can’t possibly understand how far away Rory really is right now. She always asks to hear daddy sing on the cd, and has even begun thinking a few other artists singing with guitars are also “daddy.” It looks like she is learning to live in two places as Matt and I do.

A writer from Guadeloupe named Maryse Condé focuses on this theme of “home” in many of her novels. Growing up in Guadeloupe speaking French, her parents never told her she was African because they wanted to protect her from the fact that others ever thought of her as inferior. Studying in France by age 16, she learned her history and went back to search for her roots in Africa. She looked for “home” for a long time and eventually found it. She learned to accept and love her home as a nomad. Although she never found the acceptance and true roots she sought, she learned to be at home in herself. Perhaps the only way we’ll ever find true peace is to be in love with our own home, take good care of it and stop coveting and destroying the homes of others. Perhaps that is a good goal: to learn to love and take care of our home and community, whatever and wherever it may be.

Back in the USA

Hey y'all!
Here it is, Saturday night and Jacinta and I are in the US. We finally "landed" in a place to stay and will not travel for 9 days after a long journey, 1st from Australia to Bilings Montana, and then on a long road trip with Lecia, Ben and baby Kai from Sidney Montana to Milwaukee Wisconsin. After 5 different beds in 6 nights, we have stopped, ahhhhhhh. We pulled in at 8:30 pm tonight, unpacked, ate some dinner and drank a nice glass of red wine. Jacinta is "at home" at her aunt and uncle's, sleeping happily in a crib after a story and a candle. It's been a rewarding trip, but tiring. So now at 11:40pm, I'll just say good night to you, and enjoy reliving the week with you tomorrow.
Good night (:
Love,
Shana

I love you boot

So we have progressed from “I Lud Yoo Moon” to “I love you boot.” Jacinta still loves the moon, and she also says this lovely phrase to the stars, but next on the list are the red rain boots. They are her ticket down the stairs and out into the yard so they are very important. The pride on her face when she successfully puts them on or takes them off her self is hard to ignore. With a disorganized mom running around rapidly preparing to leave the country for a month, Jess found one red boot this morning. While patiently awaiting the arrival of her other red boot so that she could go and feed the chickens she actually said “I love you boot” sending me into smiley giggles for a while.

We have had quite a few laughs this week, but perhaps more coughing, and a few tears. After submitting to all out herbal treatment due to a strong will to heal and also the lack of available doctors, Matt finally got into a doctor and found out that his nasty cough was indeed pneumonia. He cured himself of pink eye with herbs, but couldn’t kick the pneumonia. With all of this renewed building energy for our future dwelling he had to sit in bed and be deliberately unproductive. He has read quite a bit and knows a lot about the state of the world through the internet, but gets “puffed” from exerting energy in any form. My grandfather passed away late in the week, so then came a few tears along with peace for grandpa after a few years in assisted living. We all need the land and something to make us feel useful, especially farmers. Matt then spent a morning on the phone and on the internet with the airlines figuring out my trip, got “puffed,” but felt good to be able to get me out to grandpa’s funeral with 3 days notice.

Life on the land this week was quite exciting. Michelle, Keith and I really dug into the terrace garden in efforts to save the children from protruding logs, uneven paths and steep drop-offs in turn saving the plants from destruction. Keith carved a seat into an old stump with a chainsaw, made steps and began straightening out the paths. Michelle and I continued the work: wood-chipping and widening the paths, making more steps, planting a native grevillea bush in a new designated play area, and making a gate.  We also tried to create the third terrace and almost finished but then I got busy preparing to leave. I am pretty lucky to have Michelle, Matt, Keith and Mary to take care of the gardens while Jess and I are gone. There is now plenty of lettuce, bok choy and swiss chard to eat, and even some beets! It is sad to think that I’ll miss out on a month of growth in my gardens but not worth a thought compared to the joy I’ll receive from my family and friends.

Last night Jess and I took the three roosters to Justin and Melina’s to learn about life and death. Well, I did, Jess came along and understood what she could, being 22 months old. She saw them in the car, enchanted that they were in a new place but confused. Two hours later she saw them being plucked and recognized that these were the “babies?” She wanted to help a little but mostly jumped around while Justin, Melina, Neri and I, while talking and laughing, pulled out all the little feathers.  While she played inside Justin, quiet and reverent, showed me how to cut the head off on the first two and allowed me to do whatever I felt capable doing. I am very proud of myself for doing this. I then learned how to “dress” the chicken. I felt no guilt, no sadness, only maturity I guess. We then cooked the chicken and the rest of the meal and joyfully celebrated the good food. Meat has a strange texture after going for a while without it. Jess ate about a teaspoonful, chewed very hard and that was enough.
I will not make a habit of this but now know what it means to bring animals up and then use them as nourishment.  

Last night I spent a while trying to dye Easter Eggs naturally. Hmmm….brown eggs, well, they turned browner. Keith and I then painted a few for fun, and by then it was 11:15pm. Today is Saturday, and it is Jess’ Easter celebration for we will spend the real Easter on an airplane. Rory and Michelle came for coffee, hot cross buns and an Easter egg hunt this morning. With their grass and flower filled baskets in hand and  the sun shining bright, the kids trekked down to the garden, with Michelle, Matt, Keith, Mary and I as their guides (armed with many cameras). We had hidden 10 chicken eggs, an emu egg and an ostrich egg that Keith had painted long ago in the terrace garden. It is so fun watching young children search for things that seem so obvious to the adult eye. We all had a great time helping Rory and Jess find the eggs hidden in bok choy plants and in between logs. I rediscovered a lost love in my life, hiding Easter eggs! I remember now that I used to re-hide them and drag the search out for as long as I had company. This is exactly what we did today and what fun it was.

So I will see a few more of you than I had planned which is wonderful, but on a sad note. I hope you all find rebirth in life and in yourselves this Easter whether you celebrate Easter or not. Easter in Australia means chocolate eggs, not spring and rebirth because it is the beginning of autumn. If that makes you happy too, here’s to lots of chocolate eggs! Happy Easter!

Fun!

Not really fun...

I have pneumonia.

So how about you all leave symapethetic little comments for me to read, 'cos my boredom level has long sinced passed my energy level which has travelled in the opposite direction.

Or better still, send notes (sometimes confused with money, which is acceptable, too) and chocolates. It's Easter after all!

Peace, all - MATT

A nice update on the website

So, check out this new little thing I got to put on the website, all becasue of one of my songs...

http://www.paintedguitar.com/thislittletable.html

Also, the Puddle movie and the Chicken movie now appear in th elinks section over there on the right if you really need to see them more than once...

Peace,
Matt

Worms and Kitty Litter

Time is flying, so fast yet so peacefully. It’s hard to believe that just 6 days ago Matt flew into Coff’s Harbor (this is the closest airport you can fly into, remember that for trip planning!) Jess and I had a day trip out in Coff’s, too excited to stay at home and wait for 4 o’clock to roll around. We actually stopped en route and checked out a winery in a town called Raleigh. I did the tasting for the two of us, while Jess looked on curiously and understood that “wine” is a mommy drink. She just kept waiting for them to give her some grapes! The winery is a small family owned business situated on the banks of the beautiful Bellinger River. I’ve visited a few wineries, not many, but am always disappointed when you can’t see the grapevines. This one had it all, river, kind faces, grapevines, a dining area outside where you could order a bottle and a cheese plate. After purchasing a few bottles Jess and I took our picnic lunch to the river and had a lovely “silly” lunch. Any time someone does something remotely strange, naughty, incomprehensible, Jacinta will comment, “Silly Daddy” or “Silly turkey!” One of the best things about Jess is how much she makes us laugh.

Here’s a humorous story: tonight I was lying with Jess trying to emit sleep vibes and I felt a wet sensation on my cheek. I lied still trying to figure out whether she was awake or asleep, and whether the moisture was coming from her nose, her lips or her tongue. After a few seconds I asked her, “Jess???? What are you doing?” “Licking,” she replied. I then started giggling and she started giggling while continually licking my face. So a few seconds later I said, “Jess? I think that’s enough,” still giggling. She stopped licking my face and fell asleep. About two minutes later she woke up and started laughing, whispering, “licking…” We both giggled a bit and she drifted off to sleep for good.  

Upon return, Matt rearranged our bedroom/living room/playroom to distance Jacinta’s crib from the cold night air coming through the window. Her crib now butts up against the end of our bed, and has a permanently open side over which she can easily climb in and out. This is a new freedom and toy for now she can jump and dive in and out of her crib onto our big soft bed at will This is especially fun amidst a nappy change, diving onto her soft lamb’s wool rug and rolling around nude on the soft bed, or playing dress up in one of the many love filled blankets draped over the side of the crib. “Rolling” is a good picture of Jess this week. A few weeks ago she learned this word after seeing a horse “rolling” scratching his back perhaps in the pasture. Now she rolls everywhere. Just today she had her first big roll down a hill, a slight slope though. She was so proud of herself I couldn’t get her to stop. Then she came upon some protruding roots and kept on rolling until she hurt her knee. She gets over sores pretty quickly though, so it was no big deal.

Speaking of pain, Matt has caught the family cold. He has taken on the lemon garlic ginger drinks, while Jess and I join him just to keep us well and to share the burden of drinking something so hard to drink (though it’s easier for us!) Jetlag has subsided and he even got to return to the bank for a day of wages. Besides working on healing, he has gone back to his position as the “mulcher.” He also decided that instead of being cremated he would rather be mulched. Ahhhh! I don’t like that idea so much, especially because he insists that I do it. But if you know Matt’s sense of humor, you should just chuckle rather than being disgusted like I am.

This weekend was to be dedicated to house planning. We have now been here over six months and have come up with hundreds of different ideas on how to adjust the house to fit its new occupants. We both have plenty of ideas to share, but the actual work is left to Matt as he is the spatial one in the family. I come up with funny impractical ideas, but sometimes he can use a piece of them while kindly mocking the rest. He then measures things, looks at what material Keith has gathered for us here on the land and then works it all out scientifically on paper and on a computer program. Coming up with a plan to suit Mary and Keith, the owners, my high ideals, Matt’s common sense and ideals, and also our checkbook is no easy task. I am happy to report though that today, we have gotten an “OK” from Keith and Mary and an “OK” from ourselves. Our checkbook has no voice right now, good thing, and Jacinta is just happy with life no matter where we are. So now Matt has the task of pretending he is an architect, drawing up very specific plans which will have to be scrutinized by “council,” before we can build anything. If this all goes through, we will build our own little house onto one the side of the house closest to the chicken coop and the view of the pond. It will have two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a “big” living space including a kitchen, a fireplace, couches, a desk, shelves, and all of our musical instruments. The prospects are very exciting and the work ahead is abundant, perhaps daunting.

Garden news this week seems easy to report, because I spent a lot of time doing one task which was finally completed. Keith and I finished digging around every last fruit tree and mulching them to prepare for winter. Why dig around a tree you just planted 3 months ago? Good question! The orchard is very close to the chicken forest which is filled with towering birch trees whose roots travel very far in search of nutrients. What better place to arrive than at each fruit tree where there are abundant nutrients thanks to compost and mulch! Another obstacle is that the orchard is on a hill, thus we can not get rid of all the grass at once for erosion would occur. I now know the true meaning of “grassroots.” Grass roots are incredibly fat compared to the size of each blade of grass they feed. They did not choose to vacate the space they have now sacrificed to the new fruit trees and they try very hard to go back home. If we edged them all, all 25 odd trees, the mowing job would become even harder. THUS….we had to dig around each tree, creating a ditch encircling a 6 foot diameter tree bed, so that we can easily see the encroaching roots and cut them off every other week.

This task is done, and we are thrilled. In the process Jacinta discovered many worms. She especially loves the “babies!”  I can give her a few worms to look at on one side of the tree while I throw all of my might into the other side of the tree. Often her curiosity for texture takes over and she’ll yearn to touch the worm. She is slowly working up the courage to hold the worm herself, but for now she’ll shyly ask, “touch it?” I tell her that she can touch it, but she quickly replies, “Mommy! Touch it!” I’ll touch the worm or show her how to hold it, but usually she just looks on in amazement. Today she did touch the worm a few times with my guidance, and was tickled with the texture of the worm. Little does she know that I was scared of worms until a few years ago!

Besides the tree care, we planted a few more seeds this week, mostly lettuces, spinach and broccoli. Keith also picked up a ton of free kitty litter which we will use in our chook pen, mulch and compost. A true ton of kitty litter makes an enormous soft heap for Jess to climb up and down, fill buckets and roll around. Cleaning her off is another issue. I am happy to report that we are again eating garden produce: pumpkins and bok choi. Next week we’ll have lettuce and maybe even a few tomatoes.  

Although there is joy in the veggie garden, the rooster saga is deteriorating. We can no longer call the chicks by their given names. We sorrowfully apologize for naming the chicks after loved ones. Daily I lament that Major had to hatch three male chicks and only one female. Hens lay eggs, a bonus. Roosters crow, fight each other and try hopping on hens as often as possible. In their efforts to fertilize the females, they also peck at them and hurt their necks. We have learned that young roosters have no problem hopping on their mom, their lovely mom that taught them everything except how to be male, that is instinct. Major will no longer sleep in the pen with them, you wonder why? It was agreed when I said I wanted to hatch the chicks and be responsible for them that no more than one rooster could stay. Now all three roosters are breaking the rules of the peaceful chicken kingdom here at 107 Coronation Road. We have tried to give them away, but no one wants roosters for the same reasons we have. They also do not want to bother eating them because they are bantams (miniature). We can not leave them to fend for themselves in the woods because if they survive they will harass the hens daily. If they are taken by the fox, the fox will come back hungrier and hunt the remaining chickens. The only remaining option is to kill them. This is the beginning of my learning of the circle of life on a farm. There is birth and death. Birth is lovely and exciting and death has been for me a sad sorrowful occasion. For others in the world, this kind of death is a celebration for it offers needed nourishment. I have always said I would never eat meat again unless I saw it live a happy life and learned how to accept the death of what is on my plate. This is responsibility I suppose, hard it may be, but yeah. That’s all I can say right now.

Matt has gone home (US) for a visit and feels rejuvenated by all of the love he soaked up. As I prepare for my journey home, making plans for every hour of each day I’ll be there, I continue to grow roots here in my new home. I have been lacking kitchen organization here. Petty though it may seem, putting my beans, spices and nuts in jars and placing them in a visible location has boosted my joy and comfort in the kitchen. Jess loves to cook with me in the kitchen and insists upon sharing everything. She has learned her mother’s will to force sharing on others as she shoves a bite of her banana bread in my mouth saying, “Share!” or crying, “share???” if I am too full to accept. My sister has asked me to be Kai’s godmother and elated, I accepted. Jess and I will be able to take part in his baptism while in Milwaukee. As Jess and I are feeling better this week, we went out to yoga. Yoga, out in the boondocks, an old town hall filled with a diverse range of people lying on the floor stretching together, ending the class with “Ohmmmm”s, which is strange to a lot of us, but we’re all there for some reason.
My reason is more to feel the vibe of all of those interesting people and chat with them after class. How many yoga classes end with gross coffee, black tea and mudcake? Most people stay after class chatting for at least 45 minutes sometimes over an hour. I may not partake in the cake, but I use this as an opportunity to let Jess, and I of course, soak up community. It feels warm.

I truly have bits of me in many different countries, but mostly in the USA and in Australia now. As you can see, my happiness comes from the US in one sentence and from Australia in the next. I sat and pondered the most influential women in my life the other day, and how life would be so much different had I not encountered them in my search for community. Some of these women are in Senegal, in France, in Honduras, in the US and now in Australia.  There are warm communities everywhere, but you have to want true community and create it nowadays. We left a warm community in Michigan, where our friends would often gather at our home. We miss this community, and my family but are still attached thanks to airplanes, telephones and the internet. We are working on it here in a place big enough for a lot of fruit trees, heaps of veggies and lots of worms. The air is clean. Jess grasps at the moon and tries to “catch it.” Our water comes straight from the sky. I like simple processes and here I’ve found it easy to understand and to be thankful for the wonders of the earth. Right now I am particularly thankful for the searching I’ve been fortunate enough to do so far, and give thanks for the energy I’ve found to try and “stay a while.”  

Jess is rustling and might escape into our bed if I continue pondering life with y’all.
Hope life is making you smile and laugh enough. Good night (:

Jacinta/Jess

Sometimes I wonder if anyone randomly stumbled upon this blog if they thought we had two babies - Jacinta and Jess - who conveniently never appeared together in photos....



Shana and Jacinta at a local vineyard
Dog, cow, baby, foot.

Lindsey and Jess

Jess and carrot
Lindsey and Jess at the market
Rory and Jacinta

Frog Poop

This week passed by slower and more peacefully than most. With Jess, Keith and I all slightly sick with colds we laid low, drank lots of tea and lemon garlic ginger juice, and stayed close to home. Jess and I cooked up a storm and skippedmost of our weekly outings. Matt was still in the USA (right now he is probably in the air, or on a layover somewhereon his way back). So we had to go out a few times to make up for his absence.
We spent a lazy afternoon down by the teepee with Michelle and Rory, complete with tea, banana bread and guitar.I pulled weeds while Michelle told me stories and the kids drew on the chalkboard and "cooked" in the shed. Although we were slightly ill, knitting still happened at my friend Trish's house. She cooked up a lovely garlic soup with some parmesan bread while we knitted and Jess played with clay. Then we took a walk in her backyard which had this enchanted Japanese meets the tropics feeling with windy covered pathways culminating in a big trampoline!Needless to say, Jess no longer was contented with clay and knitting inside was no longer an option.
Monday night knowing it was silly, I took Jess out to have her first sleepover at Rory's. It's funny how night time feels so much different than day time. For most young children the day time might be spent with friends but night time is "supposed" to be spent at home with your family, with each activity leading up to bed time. So spending that sacredtime with a friend who you really only know by sunlight is like stolen time, free play, and definitely a time for giddiness!Giddy they were, at the dinner table, chasing each other around in their jammies, rolling all over the mattresses thrown on the floor and finally falling asleep. After a few intermittent wake-ups with Jess calling out forcefully, "Mom!" andRory talking himself loudly to sleep, Michelle and I were left to a glass of wine chatting away on the balcony looking outout at the stars shining brightly above the wide Nambucca River.
Tuesday began the lazy week. Jacinta and I had a late picnic with the "Baby." Yes, the calf that we used to feed came back for a visit. Keith said she had actually been hanging around the orchard all day, even spending some time lazing in the garden shed. Jess and I then found her and grazed with her, also feeding her hay now and then. Baby hasn't come back since that day so Jess asks to go and visit her more often.
With the cooler weather gardening is much easier now. The mosquitoes are still a problem but Jess is learning to smash them so they are less threatening (: "Got him!" she'll cheer, clapping her hands together and opening them for all to see. Though she hasnot yet caught one, I always blow "him" off of her hand so that she may continue the hunt. The shed is also a wonderful advantage. Jacinta will play in the shed where I know she is safe and I can see (or hear) her while I run down and do a quick job in the terraced garden.Every minute or so she'll call out, "Mom? Yeah?" taking over my usual response. I suppose she's heard my response so oftenthat she figures she'll just do it for me. I still answer, "Yeah?" and she just goes on chanting, "Mom? Yeah?" a few more times eventuallygoing back to her dirt and shovel.
I was able to do some soil work in the teepee garden, weeding and cleaning out all of the old beans and sunflowers. Actually,I did leave a few dead sunflower stalks as poles for the peas to climb. Always hesitating to disturb the worms, I did put a pitchfork through thesoil, then covered it all up in straw, hay, blood and bone adn chook poo. Later in the week, after the new moon appeared Jess and I planted some more spinach, lettuce and some unlabeled "surprise seeds." We also mulched about a third of the fruit trees. For me, it is a wonder that the original mulch we piled on just a few months ago has almost all disappeared and gone into the soil, or it has been scattered elsewhere by chickens digging for worms. This would not be amazing to practiced gardeners. I now must admit to an embarassing incident five years ago upon arrival to my new house in Ferndale. It was March and I began preparingthe soil for my first garden, or first attempt. I came across all of these little bits of wood covering the soil. Annoyed by their presence, I raked them all all up and put them into huge garbage bags which I then stored in the garage. Three years later, I learned about the wonders of mulch and though embarassed, I was happy to have two big bags waiting in the garage to be used.
On that note, wood, I mean, Keith and I began collecting wood for winter. Although I did not use the chainsaw, I toted the cut logs and branchesto the truck, broke up smaller branches, accidentally stepping in a few enormous cow pies en route. We happened to be cutting in the cow's favoritehangout. It is not yet cold enough for our wood-fired heater but it will come soon. Jess went to town with Mary whileKeith and I began the process, but she later joined us in the afternoon, keeping her distance (with constant attention)building little log cabins and towers and making tea out of sawdust. The saddest part about wood cutting is my pathetic skills with an axe. I try, I really do, but I just can't seem to hit the same spot twice. Perhaps every 20 swings, I'll get lucky. I listen to advice and keep trying. Some day I'll learn....
Speaking of learning, Jess, sweet little Jess. Just a minute ago, she said it, clearly this time. I thought I heard it before, denied it, and waited, yes, she said it. "Self," I want to do it myself. We all yearn for our babies to become more independent,but even when they are this young, you miss their dependence. Jess has learned so many words now, I'll just pass on the funny ones. She has picked up on a few lines that are usually said with insistence, and she is an insistent little girl, soshe loves these phrases and will some times rattle them all off at once, although the are contradictory. "Go away!Stop it! Come on!" She often says them in the right context but sometiems just likes the sound of them all. My heart warmedwhen this week when it finally rained on Friday Jess began reciting the little French poem I say to her when it rains. It starts with "Tip Tip Tip," describing the sounds of rain, lightening and thunder. She said "Tip Tip Tip," and I finished itfor her. Like my young French students in Michigan, she likes the hand motions and the fun sounds. I will begin speaking more French to her one of these days, I can't wait! I have no one to speak French to now and it is like a lost little spirit in methat needs some love.
Awe, pure awe is what our bodies inspire. Humans use their brains more than most creatures, whereas animals and little babies are controlled by their bodies. I have seen this in Jess more this week than I realized when she was a newborn. I suppose babies are more in touch with their needs, even toddlers, since their brains aren't telling them what they havelearned they need. This week Jess ate green vegetables like broccoli and spinach! Willingly! She drank loads of garliclemon and ginger juice, and tons of water. She still has a cough, but what a happy sick baby she is.
So Frog Poo, why the title? Have you ever seen frog poo??? Well I hadn't until last night in the rain we saw a tiny frog do a poo one fourth the size of its own body. He was sitting on a piece of wood on the veranda, and lucky Jess also got to see it.We've been hearing about it since, "Froggy...poooo!"
Lately we have been reading "Goodnight Moon," before bed. Last night the book was lost. Where is it? "I dahow" repliedJess (I don't know). We looked everywhere, and since Daddy was on our minds, Jess replied that, "Daddy...moon..soon..yeah."Daddy will bring us the moon, yes he will. Tomorrow he will be home. "Yay!!! Daddy!" 'Life is good. Hope you're all enjoying life too.