Mommy get in car

(sent a week late by the ever-efficient Matt.... sorry - Matt )

Good evening. This evening I write from Milwaukee, in the warmth and comfort of my sister's home. We have made it to our final destination, and not too much worse for wear. We have loved and played our hearts out. The snow, freezing rain and ice were significant last week, but have eased up this week. Jacinta was quite disappointed to arrive here and have missed the snow that was taller than her, last week. Looking out the window at the last layer of snow only an inch deep with clumps of grass peeking through, she asked, "Mommy, can we still dig tunnels under the snow?" Her disappointment didn't last though, given the excitement of waking up to her cousins and all of their toys every morning.

This is the eighth place we have called home on our trip. Genevieve and Jacinta both have held strong in their energy to open themselves to anything and everything put before them. I could say they are excellent travelers, and this would not be false. But it goes deeper than that. I think that traveling, changing their comfort zone every day or two and keeping the environment positive has enlarged their comfort zone. Some marvel at their flexibility, but I expect it of them. Matt and I have always said we would be each others' home, and I suppose our children too have to trust us to be their "home," wherever we are. The only routine I can offer them is three meals a day, somewhere to lay their heads, lots of love, security, adventure and good people everywhere.

We had a relaxed visit at my mom and George's house in Indiana. Their house is filled with beautiful music and my mother's love, which we all enjoyed. The girls had been asking when we would return to Grandma Shari's, knowing the routine there. Wake up, play with toys and trinkets, revel in Christmas lights and trains, watch old Christmas movies, eat simply, and if they are lucky, taste a few of the sweet treats lying around that they wouldn't normally have at home. I have been practicing low maintenance with food while in the States and it has been good for everyone. One day was dreadfully cold, so frigid even I wouldn't let the girls go out of the house. They didn't mind, or even get cabin fever. Mom read Jacinta many stories, marveling at how long she could sit and listen. Mom introduced Jacinta to Strawberry Shortcake, the little girl, a character I had forgotten from childhood. The girls went wild with my mom's box of stickers at any dull moment.

One of our only outings was shopping at Kmart. Jacinta was in a daze as we passed the toy section, never having seen such abundance in plastic crap. Contrary to my silent disgust at the excess, she was in silent awe, drop jawed at all of the pretty dollies hiding behind plastic packages. She didn't ask for anything, just asked me to stop and gaze with her at this or that, every five feet of shopping aisle. Superstores are in Australia too, we just don't go very often and never go to the toy section. Browsing through Kmart brought back funny memories of browsing superstore aisles aimlessly on high school and college late nights with friends. What a good consumer I used to be. I used to be an expert price hunter, which was always low quality and often led to buying unnecessary items just because I got a deal. Now I just buy good quality food, no matter the price, buy most everything else secondhand, (cutting the sweatshops out of the loop), and save up for airline tickets.

We will always have to save for airline tickets, we love our family too much to stay away for long. Spending Christmas with my family has been such a treat, it has been about four years since our last Christmas together. Matt's absence was eerie though, it was our first Christmas apart since we met in 1996. Christmas Eve my sister and her family had planned to come out to mom's but the roads were incredibly icy. We all knew our beautiful plan to celebrate together with all of mom's grandchildren in the same place might not come to fruition, we don't control the weather. But we prepared all day long as if they would make it. We practiced a finger puppet play to tell the Christmas story. Mom cooked the meal, the girls and I tried to crack a path through the ice so people could walk, but this proved impossible. We enjoyed the fresh air and using shovels though. We had fun making an apple pie for dessert. Et voila! Lecia, Ben, Kai and Paige made it through the snow and ice to celebrate Christmas Eve with us. Jacinta, Mom and I put on the puppet show. Then mom played the piano and everyone else joined in singing kidsy Christmas songs and played along with bells, tambourines, and triangles. We had a lovely meal followed by presents. Jacinta enjoyed being the elf bringing gifts to others, but mainly enjoyed the abundance of gifts for her. It is difficult for children to be grateful in such abundance. She and Genevieve instantly fell in love with the tea set Mom and George gave them. Nonetheless, Jacinta asked after each gift, "Are there any more for me?"

Waking on Christmas morning to pack up to say goodbye to my mother and George was difficult, not knowing when we will be able to return. I tried to focus on gratitude for having had the chance to come at all. It has been an awesome reunion. And so it continued at my Dad's house in Mokena, Illinois. Dad had been cooking all day long, the aroma wafting through the house was a warm welcome. My dad has always loved cooking but he's focusing on really healthy whole food right now, so this meal was a dream come true. The girls appreciated the few candy dishes around the house more than anything, well maybe. Opening gifts around a Christmas tree and playing with tiny babies were perhaps more exciting. My sister and her family came over, followed by my step-sister and her family including their three week old baby girl. It was a festive reunion, enchanted by Dad and Barb's hospitality and our growing menagerie. We ended the evening by lighting the menorah with Barb and Lisa, a first for new little baby Natalia and for my girls who aren't lucky enough to have any Jewish friends or family in Australia.

In the days following the girls learned some Hannukah songs. Barb and I sang a few songs while my daddy worked out some piano music and played along. Playing by ear is a skill many covet. My dad was blessed with an amazing ear so we all benefit from his music. Dad read Jacinta a bunch of stories, giggling to himself as he read silly Dr. Seuss. We ate well, played inside, and relaxed. One morning it was so iced over I took the girls out "ice skating" in their boots. This was a fun challenge for Jacinta, cold, snow and ice mean adventure for her right now. Genevieve just held on tight and stayed put when I plopped her down somewhere safe. She likes eating ice and snow. We bunny hopped across the snow and made patterns with our feet, but snow angels are too hard to make on ice! We played on Uncle Jeff's swings and played with ice on the trees. Our most exciting find was a pine scented ice hat we picked off the top of a little pine tree and wore on our heads.

Again, we had to say goodbye, but this time we got on a train. Trains are exciting for children, and for me as we were heading to Chicago. My high school friend Courtney met us at the train station downtown and guided us through the streets and the "L" (elevated train) to her house in Bucktown. Escalators and elevators, tall buildings and people everywhere kept the girls in awe on our little trek, even through the rain. What I miss most about cold winters is the beauty of going into a house to escape the frigid air, the love you feel for your shelter. Going into Courtney and Tim's cozy abode was especially good that day due to the rain, also because they are both kid magnets. Missing their daddy like crazy by this time, the girls quickly fell in love with Tim, the male of the house. Genevieve followed him around asking to be picked up and tickled. He was happy to oblige. We spent the evening having dinner and drinks with some of my close high school friends. We didn't spend too much time gossiping about old friends, but really enjoyed each others' thirty year old point of views. It is amazing how we have separately followed such similar paths and come to many of the same conclusions about life and how to live well.

Saying hello and goodbye is easier for me than it is for the girls, but after a month of this, they are getting used to the drill. Each morning Genevieve wakes up, expecting to pack up and leave she asks for her coat and says, "mommy, get in car?" At random moments of the day Genevieve ponders the love we have basked in, visiting with each of our friends and family. We may have only spent a few hours with some friends but she keeps them alive as the days go by. "Don and Linda?" "Go see Iris?" "Go see Otto?" "Hannalori?" "Go see Jim and Suzanne?" "Go see Cindy?" "Courtney's car?" "Tim pick me up?" Jacinta is quick to bring her little sister back to reality. Sharply she replies, "No Genevieve, we are far away now. We won't see them until we are bigger." Genevieve has been asking to see daddy for a long time, but knows somehow that he is very far away. So she has been asking to see Uncle Ben for a while now. Now we are here with at my sister and Ben's home, with "Uncle Ben." She loves wrestling with him, but asks more persistently to see her daddy.

The girls are having a blast with their cousins Paige and Kai as am I with the whole family. It is very cold outside, and cozy and warm inside near the fire. Good food, good people, warmth, love and endless activities to do. Milwaukee is a really cool city, accessible, beautiful, progressive, and easy to get around. Sometimes when I am home in Australia after the girls have gone to bed, I dream of this: knitting by the fire next to my sister as she feeds her beautiful baby, chatting the night away. My dream has come true and I am so thankful. But now that we have been away from our "home" for a while, I also dream of sitting on the back veranda that Matt built, looking at the stars with my husband, just holding hands, in silence and in awe.

Each day the girls' questions and demands grow. Genevieve picks up the phone a few times a day to ask, "Call daddy?" "Go see daddy?" is not an uncommon request, especially as we get in and out of the car. "Okay, I'm ready to see daddy." They know it is soon. The other day we all had a blast playing at the indoor gardens in Milwaukee, three huge Domes filled with plants. On the way home Genevieve said out of the blue, "I miss my home. Go airplane?" Not only was I shocked, linguistically speaking, but the concept of missing someone, she gets it. So here we are in Milwaukee, loving our family but knowing how very much we love our home, so very far away. The New Year has arrived, it is now 2009. My hope this year is this:

Sing more Dance more Play more Trust more Make music Listen to silence Talk less Move less

Happy New Year my loved ones.

Peace,

Shana