I Big Girl
Good evening folks. I hope summer is doing you good. Winter is quite nice, the stars seem brighter in the cold. I love falling asleep near the fire, watching the flames dance. Although it’s a toss up, a real bed is also quite enticing. I’m actually contemplating warmer weather though, this is a shock to myself. Perhaps this means that I have been here long enough to take winter as it is. The days are short and the garden doesn’t get much sunlight. I keep hoping that a new season might do the trick, rather than having to cut down trees. When the girls get a little older, I’ll learn how to use a chainsaw. Then I won’t have to rely on asking the men to do my dirty work. Who likes killing trees? They are so majestic, and provide shade. Each tree, whether a native or invasive species provides shelter and food for so many different creatures. But alas, they are good breeders and will populate every inch of space left for them. Being human, we have the power to choose which species we want to be prolific.
If I had banana trees sprouting like weeds, I suppose I’d allow them to grow wherever they chose. (There are banana plantations nearby which still amaze me every time I see them while driving.) Apple trees, plum trees, I’d let them multiply too. In fact, the plum tree is flowering now, in preparation for spring. Perhaps this is what makes me look forward to spring. Our guava tree is all out of fruit, much to Genevieve and Jacinta’s dismay. Right now it is citrus time. Our tiny orange tree still has about ten lovely looking oranges on it. My friend Sara has full grown citrus trees and surprises us with a huge box of oranges from time to time, yesterday it was mandarins. Mandarins are sweet, juicy and easy to peel, but nothing beats a real orange. It’s funny to think back to my childhood understanding of a mandarin, little orange sections soaked in sugar water in a small can. I liked both in their own way, but getting them straight from the tree might take the cake. My brother in law Ben said that he felt bad juicing such beautiful oranges, a waste of a good orange. It was funny to recall this way of thinking, I used to think the same thing. Now I can’t imagine what to do with this many oranges and think of juicing as a good way to use them up before they rot and get the vitamins in without having to get the peel and film stuck in my fingernails.
I don’t much care about my fingernails, but I do get the chills from certain textures being stuck in there: dried up dough, dried up dirt and orange refuse all give me goose bumps. I guess we all have strange phobias, well, maybe not all of us. I also get goose bumps when I hear a moving song, poem or story. Those are my favorite goose bumps, rather than those from the cold or from dried up anything in my fingernails. Jacinta is starting to inquire into my lack of jewelry and makeup, “Mommy, why don’t you wear any of these earrings?” Little girls seem to love dressing up like their mommies with makeup and jewelry, I sure did. I’m not much to imitate, the girls can imitate their grandmas and then make the decision whether they want to bother.
Jacinta saw her first Disney-like movie the other night, Thumbelina. I didn’t see much of it, but happened to pop in during a part that focused on prettiness being an important virtue. Thus far we have managed to avoid exposing her to society’s sick obsession with physical appearances, Disney and princess stories being some of the early culprits. Jacinta brings it home from friends anyway, not the ugly and pretty stuff yet, but speaking of who is fatter. Matt and I never use the word fat when speaking to the children. It’s funny writing that, we have never discussed it or planned it. I go to the extreme of changing the word “fat” to something else in story books. Matt and I have known one too many anorexic teenagers. Although Jacinta can sit through Babe and Charlotte’s Web, she couldn’t make it through Thumbelina. Too bad
Jacinta has taken a great interest in writing. She is asking which words are which on pages in the books we read. She has been asking us to write words on cards for her for a while now, but just this week she began trying to write words (besides her name) on her own. This afternoon she asked me how to write “from.” I showed her and she copied it. I didn’t make a big deal about it, just followed her lead. This evening she made a card for me and without her paper as a reference, wrote the word “From” without asking for help. This is only shocking to me because we haven’t ever sat down and written out the alphabet or drilled anything in. We figure she’ll have many years ahead doing that kind of learning and that now is a time for creative play. But she seems to be asking for it. Tuesday was the first day she woke up supercharged for preschool, packing her own bags and suggesting that I make a quick lunch so she wouldn’t be late. What a change.
I took the girls to town on Monday, just to get out of the house. We walked across the Macksville bridge to a tiny park on the river to play. There were at least five pelicans stalking the fishing boats at all times and boats passing by. It was a tiny play structure, with “a double slide!” There were no swings or anything extra, a perfect place for creative play and for the girls to actually play together. Typically I don’t personally enjoy “play structures,” I’d rather have the girls climb trees and build houses out of sticks, but this simple one was just perfect on a day when I was sick and had no energy but to watch and smile. Genevieve had a major break that day, she wore her hat for three minutes! Jacinta and I have been telling her for weeks that, “Big girls wear hats.” She finally got sucked in and put it on, saying, “I big girl.” Jacinta and I were astonished, I even got goose bumps. Jacinta followed up the big girl display by going into the fruit shop while I stood outside with the pram and bought a bag of tomatoes all by her self.
Both girls are growing by leaps and bounds, as children do. Genevieve’s vocabulary is exploding. The other day we were down in the shed and she pointed at the bike and and said, “bike! up!” I didn’t want to take her up the hill, but she persisted. She had never said the word before, but remembered the few times months ago I had taken her. I recall her crying during the ride, strange that she remembers it and actually wants to endure it again. Matt and Jacinta happened to be trotting down the hill for a walk. So Evie and I took the bike down the gravel road to the neighbors and followed along to throw pebbles off the bridge. One of Evie’s favorite words is “gitta” (glitter pens), something she heartily covets of Jacinta’s. Jacinta makes beautiful pictures with these pens by making a colorful goopy design on one half of the page, then folding it over to print it onto the other half. She often ends up with some amazing picture looking like a butterfly. She does a lot of these with Keith and has learned how to look at it and name everything. She sees emus, snakes, ponds, butterflies, and dancing people in her pictures. Genevieve gets in on it when Keith has the extra hands to help her, but mostly they are off limits, sparkly and thus, Evie’s favorite thing.
Matt is still working hard on the book, just putting on the final touches. This week was the week to put in orders, so it has been exciting for him to see the fruits of his labor and just how many people want copies of the book. It is still not finished, but that didn’t stop him from taking the weekend off to take Jacinta down to Sydney to see the “Swans,” his favorite football team. They were both looking forward to a weekend together, especially meeting up with his dad and sisters and newest nephew. The girls and I even made gingerbread footballs for the occasion.
Jacinta likes the idea of “the footy” because Matt loves it, but really football is not that interesting. The pre-game activities were exciting: the long drive, taking a bus to the stadium, playing outside with her cousins, listening to a band and dancing, kicking the ball around with her Pa and cousin Ben and eating hot chips and her first hot dog for dinner. Upon return, she told me about the lights and how many there were and that, “we sat separate from Ben and Nick (cousins).” This left her to bounce back and forth between Matt and Aunt Allison’s lap, play with her new Swanee bear and gaze up at the lights. Her favorite part of the game was watching the black and white pom poms (the opposing team’s colors). Although she doesn’t care about the football or that Matt’s team was beat once again by their arch rivals, she had a lovely trip, as did Matt. Tonight she could not sleep so she came out and drew pictures at the kitchen table. She drew a picture of she and her cousins all holding hands. Little two month old Nick had a frown on his face. I asked her why and she said she didn’t know. But later she said she was having nightmares. I wonder what is in her nightmares: maybe animals eating each other, Genevieve biting her or pulling her hair, perhaps being sent to her room or getting in a fight with her friend Lilly. It’s so sad to imagine your child’s nightmares. All you can do is comfort them when they need it.
I wonder if babies have nightmares, if so, what about? Genevieve has gotten her first molar, and cries out in the night almost every hour for the pain in her mouth. Well, at least I think this is the reason. She hasn’t had any breast milk for over a week now, so she is fully weaned. She eats a lot now, her diapers attest to that. She naps once a day for about an hour around noon or 1pm. Amazing! A schedule! That hour is nice for both Jacinta and I, whether we work on something together or just enjoy our silence.
While doing the dishes once this week I remembered Thich Nat Hanh’s advice on being mindful in all activities and focusing on the task at hand. He says, “Cut carrots.” By that he means, “If you are going to cut carrots, hold them, look at them, think about them, enjoy the task every step of the way rather than thinking about the last thing you did or the next thing you must do once you finish with the carrots. I tried it with the dishes, and honestly enjoyed myself and felt peaceful throughout the task. It was a good lesson to remember at a slightly busy and stressful stage in life. It will take a lot of work to actually take on that practice. It seems impossible with two children, but they say it is possible and makes life easier. Worth a try, aye?
I seem to go in and out of running away from home, thinking that our days will be saner if I take the girls out. I come up with a new plan once in a while to stay at home and do projects together. The routines that I invent come and go, either because it’s hard for Jacinta to like anything that I ordain must be done outside, because it’s too hard to coordinate both girls’ needs, energy and whims, because they would just rather be with their Pop or because I move onto a new plan.
This weekend while Matt and Jess were gone, Evie and I had a “holiday” at my friends’ houses. It was nice to focus my energy on little Evie for a while and to have a days break from answering Jacinta’s many questions. Trish cooked us lunch and walked us around her quaint little backyard garden and Evie jumped on the trampoline. Next we drove away from the ocean in Stuart’s Point to cattle country in Taylor’s Arm. Just the beautiful, silent drive was enough to reenergize me, let alone hanging out with a few of my best friends. We had a lovely dinner and watched the somewhat quiet babies play. Once they went to sleep we made soap. You may burn your hands a bit with the lye, but it’s worth it. We worked late, and eventually I joined Genevieve in her slumber. This morning we roamed around their garden, and I was re-inspired to try involving the girls in our garden again. I left shortly after with the intention of returning home and starting right away with Genevieve.
En route, my baby fell asleep. She never sleeps after being picked out of her car seat, so I acted fast and found a beautiful cliff overlooking the Taylor’s Arm River. I stopped on the side of the road and let her sleep and got out to look at the river. I perched myself just behind a massive gum tree and stared down at the water. It was so far down I could not see any movement so I looked up for the birds. I was so high, the birds were flying below me. I sat in that amazing place, listened and imagined my garden. So here’s my next plan: focus on making it fun for the kids regardless of growing anything edible. So tomorrow we begin: playing in French while we make a few little twig hiding houses. Matt wants to help the girls and I upon return from America build a sandpit and hang a big wooden swing from the tree. He’s really looking forward to getting out of the house to do projects with the girls and I again, once the book is finished. Of course we are excited too. Plans, plans, plans: so much for living in the moment.
So here’s to another attempt at doing projects outside with my girls and here’s to living in the moment. I hope you are all content and enjoying the moment.
Peace,
Shana
If I had banana trees sprouting like weeds, I suppose I’d allow them to grow wherever they chose. (There are banana plantations nearby which still amaze me every time I see them while driving.) Apple trees, plum trees, I’d let them multiply too. In fact, the plum tree is flowering now, in preparation for spring. Perhaps this is what makes me look forward to spring. Our guava tree is all out of fruit, much to Genevieve and Jacinta’s dismay. Right now it is citrus time. Our tiny orange tree still has about ten lovely looking oranges on it. My friend Sara has full grown citrus trees and surprises us with a huge box of oranges from time to time, yesterday it was mandarins. Mandarins are sweet, juicy and easy to peel, but nothing beats a real orange. It’s funny to think back to my childhood understanding of a mandarin, little orange sections soaked in sugar water in a small can. I liked both in their own way, but getting them straight from the tree might take the cake. My brother in law Ben said that he felt bad juicing such beautiful oranges, a waste of a good orange. It was funny to recall this way of thinking, I used to think the same thing. Now I can’t imagine what to do with this many oranges and think of juicing as a good way to use them up before they rot and get the vitamins in without having to get the peel and film stuck in my fingernails.
I don’t much care about my fingernails, but I do get the chills from certain textures being stuck in there: dried up dough, dried up dirt and orange refuse all give me goose bumps. I guess we all have strange phobias, well, maybe not all of us. I also get goose bumps when I hear a moving song, poem or story. Those are my favorite goose bumps, rather than those from the cold or from dried up anything in my fingernails. Jacinta is starting to inquire into my lack of jewelry and makeup, “Mommy, why don’t you wear any of these earrings?” Little girls seem to love dressing up like their mommies with makeup and jewelry, I sure did. I’m not much to imitate, the girls can imitate their grandmas and then make the decision whether they want to bother.
Jacinta saw her first Disney-like movie the other night, Thumbelina. I didn’t see much of it, but happened to pop in during a part that focused on prettiness being an important virtue. Thus far we have managed to avoid exposing her to society’s sick obsession with physical appearances, Disney and princess stories being some of the early culprits. Jacinta brings it home from friends anyway, not the ugly and pretty stuff yet, but speaking of who is fatter. Matt and I never use the word fat when speaking to the children. It’s funny writing that, we have never discussed it or planned it. I go to the extreme of changing the word “fat” to something else in story books. Matt and I have known one too many anorexic teenagers. Although Jacinta can sit through Babe and Charlotte’s Web, she couldn’t make it through Thumbelina. Too bad
Jacinta has taken a great interest in writing. She is asking which words are which on pages in the books we read. She has been asking us to write words on cards for her for a while now, but just this week she began trying to write words (besides her name) on her own. This afternoon she asked me how to write “from.” I showed her and she copied it. I didn’t make a big deal about it, just followed her lead. This evening she made a card for me and without her paper as a reference, wrote the word “From” without asking for help. This is only shocking to me because we haven’t ever sat down and written out the alphabet or drilled anything in. We figure she’ll have many years ahead doing that kind of learning and that now is a time for creative play. But she seems to be asking for it. Tuesday was the first day she woke up supercharged for preschool, packing her own bags and suggesting that I make a quick lunch so she wouldn’t be late. What a change.
I took the girls to town on Monday, just to get out of the house. We walked across the Macksville bridge to a tiny park on the river to play. There were at least five pelicans stalking the fishing boats at all times and boats passing by. It was a tiny play structure, with “a double slide!” There were no swings or anything extra, a perfect place for creative play and for the girls to actually play together. Typically I don’t personally enjoy “play structures,” I’d rather have the girls climb trees and build houses out of sticks, but this simple one was just perfect on a day when I was sick and had no energy but to watch and smile. Genevieve had a major break that day, she wore her hat for three minutes! Jacinta and I have been telling her for weeks that, “Big girls wear hats.” She finally got sucked in and put it on, saying, “I big girl.” Jacinta and I were astonished, I even got goose bumps. Jacinta followed up the big girl display by going into the fruit shop while I stood outside with the pram and bought a bag of tomatoes all by her self.
Both girls are growing by leaps and bounds, as children do. Genevieve’s vocabulary is exploding. The other day we were down in the shed and she pointed at the bike and and said, “bike! up!” I didn’t want to take her up the hill, but she persisted. She had never said the word before, but remembered the few times months ago I had taken her. I recall her crying during the ride, strange that she remembers it and actually wants to endure it again. Matt and Jacinta happened to be trotting down the hill for a walk. So Evie and I took the bike down the gravel road to the neighbors and followed along to throw pebbles off the bridge. One of Evie’s favorite words is “gitta” (glitter pens), something she heartily covets of Jacinta’s. Jacinta makes beautiful pictures with these pens by making a colorful goopy design on one half of the page, then folding it over to print it onto the other half. She often ends up with some amazing picture looking like a butterfly. She does a lot of these with Keith and has learned how to look at it and name everything. She sees emus, snakes, ponds, butterflies, and dancing people in her pictures. Genevieve gets in on it when Keith has the extra hands to help her, but mostly they are off limits, sparkly and thus, Evie’s favorite thing.
Matt is still working hard on the book, just putting on the final touches. This week was the week to put in orders, so it has been exciting for him to see the fruits of his labor and just how many people want copies of the book. It is still not finished, but that didn’t stop him from taking the weekend off to take Jacinta down to Sydney to see the “Swans,” his favorite football team. They were both looking forward to a weekend together, especially meeting up with his dad and sisters and newest nephew. The girls and I even made gingerbread footballs for the occasion.
Jacinta likes the idea of “the footy” because Matt loves it, but really football is not that interesting. The pre-game activities were exciting: the long drive, taking a bus to the stadium, playing outside with her cousins, listening to a band and dancing, kicking the ball around with her Pa and cousin Ben and eating hot chips and her first hot dog for dinner. Upon return, she told me about the lights and how many there were and that, “we sat separate from Ben and Nick (cousins).” This left her to bounce back and forth between Matt and Aunt Allison’s lap, play with her new Swanee bear and gaze up at the lights. Her favorite part of the game was watching the black and white pom poms (the opposing team’s colors). Although she doesn’t care about the football or that Matt’s team was beat once again by their arch rivals, she had a lovely trip, as did Matt. Tonight she could not sleep so she came out and drew pictures at the kitchen table. She drew a picture of she and her cousins all holding hands. Little two month old Nick had a frown on his face. I asked her why and she said she didn’t know. But later she said she was having nightmares. I wonder what is in her nightmares: maybe animals eating each other, Genevieve biting her or pulling her hair, perhaps being sent to her room or getting in a fight with her friend Lilly. It’s so sad to imagine your child’s nightmares. All you can do is comfort them when they need it.
I wonder if babies have nightmares, if so, what about? Genevieve has gotten her first molar, and cries out in the night almost every hour for the pain in her mouth. Well, at least I think this is the reason. She hasn’t had any breast milk for over a week now, so she is fully weaned. She eats a lot now, her diapers attest to that. She naps once a day for about an hour around noon or 1pm. Amazing! A schedule! That hour is nice for both Jacinta and I, whether we work on something together or just enjoy our silence.
While doing the dishes once this week I remembered Thich Nat Hanh’s advice on being mindful in all activities and focusing on the task at hand. He says, “Cut carrots.” By that he means, “If you are going to cut carrots, hold them, look at them, think about them, enjoy the task every step of the way rather than thinking about the last thing you did or the next thing you must do once you finish with the carrots. I tried it with the dishes, and honestly enjoyed myself and felt peaceful throughout the task. It was a good lesson to remember at a slightly busy and stressful stage in life. It will take a lot of work to actually take on that practice. It seems impossible with two children, but they say it is possible and makes life easier. Worth a try, aye?
I seem to go in and out of running away from home, thinking that our days will be saner if I take the girls out. I come up with a new plan once in a while to stay at home and do projects together. The routines that I invent come and go, either because it’s hard for Jacinta to like anything that I ordain must be done outside, because it’s too hard to coordinate both girls’ needs, energy and whims, because they would just rather be with their Pop or because I move onto a new plan.
This weekend while Matt and Jess were gone, Evie and I had a “holiday” at my friends’ houses. It was nice to focus my energy on little Evie for a while and to have a days break from answering Jacinta’s many questions. Trish cooked us lunch and walked us around her quaint little backyard garden and Evie jumped on the trampoline. Next we drove away from the ocean in Stuart’s Point to cattle country in Taylor’s Arm. Just the beautiful, silent drive was enough to reenergize me, let alone hanging out with a few of my best friends. We had a lovely dinner and watched the somewhat quiet babies play. Once they went to sleep we made soap. You may burn your hands a bit with the lye, but it’s worth it. We worked late, and eventually I joined Genevieve in her slumber. This morning we roamed around their garden, and I was re-inspired to try involving the girls in our garden again. I left shortly after with the intention of returning home and starting right away with Genevieve.
En route, my baby fell asleep. She never sleeps after being picked out of her car seat, so I acted fast and found a beautiful cliff overlooking the Taylor’s Arm River. I stopped on the side of the road and let her sleep and got out to look at the river. I perched myself just behind a massive gum tree and stared down at the water. It was so far down I could not see any movement so I looked up for the birds. I was so high, the birds were flying below me. I sat in that amazing place, listened and imagined my garden. So here’s my next plan: focus on making it fun for the kids regardless of growing anything edible. So tomorrow we begin: playing in French while we make a few little twig hiding houses. Matt wants to help the girls and I upon return from America build a sandpit and hang a big wooden swing from the tree. He’s really looking forward to getting out of the house to do projects with the girls and I again, once the book is finished. Of course we are excited too. Plans, plans, plans: so much for living in the moment.
So here’s to another attempt at doing projects outside with my girls and here’s to living in the moment. I hope you are all content and enjoying the moment.
Peace,
Shana
posted by Matt & Shana & Jacinta & Genevieve Henry at
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