mommy wake up
Good evening loved ones, far, far away loved ones. As my sense of normality narrows into a small town consciousness, my other life, where I spent 28 years close to major cities spirals further from me. Not having a trip planned or any idea of when we’ll get to see you all makes America seem so distant. Typically I can’t imagine anything more challenging than calling friends and family in the US because the hours I am able to talk are crazily busy hours with my loud children, morning until lunchtime. But this week, feeling the distance, I actually made a few attempts. I failed to actually catch anyone at home. So instead, I enjoyed listening to the baby rooster learn to crow and to the voices of my growing girls, catching glimpses of the new resident peacock, and chasing calves out of the yard.
The garden routine, ahh, sweet routine. I do not regret the fact that it took me three years to figure out the need for patterns. For now, I feel liberated rather than feeling trapped by the routine. Our first activity each day after breakfast is a romp in the gardens. I go down with no major projects in mind, just pottering, being present and doing little jobs. By 7:30 we are dressed in grubby garden clothes. Just as Evie is getting fussy, Matt straps her onto my back with her sun hat on and rubs some bug lotion on her exposed hands. Usually she’ll fall asleep within five minutes, as Jacinta and I walk down to the garden. If she sees the dirt before she falls asleep, she wiggles until I let her down to romp in the dirt. Otherwise, she’ll nap for twenty minutes or so on my back. On the way down Jacinta asks, “Which garden we are going to today?” The orchard is much more fun for playing, but the terrace garden has more strawberries to eat and fennel plants, her newest garden food. The orchard has good hiding spots and hundreds of borage flowers to eat. It also has the shed, the tools and chairs in which we like to sit and tell stories.
Jacinta’s latest addition to garden play is storytelling, while I’m either feeding Genevieve or sitting down doing something brainless like weeding. “Mommy, can you tell me a story?” I am learning to spin tales, but I like a bit of direction so I ask her who she wants in the story. Yesterday it was a cow and a pig, today it was two little girls and a mommy. Later on it was two dogs and two cats, little ones, of course. I wasn’t so confident at first, but with a little practice and the knowledge that your child loves you no matter what, I’ve gotten better. After reading hundreds of children’s books to her, I have come to an understanding of what makes up a story. Given the characters, I begin making up funny details about each one while I try to come up with a plot. The plot is the hardest part, especially while I’m waffling on about each character. Eventually a butterfly flies by and gives me an idea. My favourite story this week was the butterfly who had tasted all different colored flowers that day, but really wanted some pink flowers. She asked another butterfly, then a bumblebee, then of course, the third passer-by knew where to find pink flowers. So the bird lead her to the pink flowers, she indulged and could finally go to sleep after a long day. Whether I succeed or fail to come up with a plot, Jacinta smiles and giggles gratefully after each one. She never fails to ask for, “another one, please?”
Today she sat on a stool in the middle of the newly grown clover field, under the teepee playing with the chimes while I weeded out hundreds of tomato plants, grass shoots, and bindies (burr-like ground cover). She joins in when she feels the urge, and wanders happily now. One fun task we did together this week was seedling work. While I transplanted green pepper plants and weeded, she tipped out all of my failed seedling plants. First she whacked out the dirt, then took out the popsicle stick which said what seed was planted, wiped the stick off and put it in a pile, then stacked the empty pot into a tall tower. After each pot she’d ask, “How many pots are there now?” After forty pots, she felt very accomplished, as she should have.
We all take pride in our work. This week my pride came from a few different places. First off, my bread dough squeaks now! I began making my own bread about five years ago. It has been a long learning process, but I’ve got the touch now. The key seems to be adding flour based on feel rather than the suggested quantity. I know the feel now, I can feel it rising as I knead. The dough is alive, so warm and responsive. Secondly, French class went really well this week. The children all had fun and no one got hurt or too tired. I take that back, at the beginning Jacinta tripped and fell. As she hugged me loudly sobbing, “I hurt my vagina,” the five other innocent little children silently stared without a snicker. They are so sweet and young. The class went well because we spent half the time inside playing games and singing songs. The other half we ran, flew, jumped, swam and sang up and down the hill, finishing with games in the orchard where it is relatively safe. Teaching my daughter’s friends is a new thing. I’m finding the key is to just play with them, while still exercising authority, and making my ability to speak French out to be a treasure they wish to hold.
Genevieve’s pride is all over her face when she beats me to the dirty shoe and gets it in her mouth. When I quickly snatch it away, she doesn’t cry, just moves on to the next item of desire. The dogs food dishes are another dream, shiny silver, oh yes. She will crawl the same five steps over and over. When I pull her little legs back and she slides on her belly, she is not deterred, nor frustrated. Thirty times, that’s endurance in my book. She loves crawling out of our door into Mary and Keith’s lounge room. When she spots Keith, she pants like a puppy and powers along at full speed. When she gets out to her Pop, there’s pure pride on her face. She pulls at his leg and gets swooped up to play with the dangling spoon wind chimes and the cow that plays a lullaby. She knows how to get what she wants now. I suppose that’s what life is about: figuring out how to get what you want without damaging the earth or its inhabitants along the way. So far Genevieve is doing well in that respect.
Although he sarcastically comes off full of pride, Matt will not often openly admit feeling proud of his work. He may enjoy doing many things, but never thinks any of it is all that good. As you probably know, we are very different species. I think most things that I do are better than they really are, whereas he thinks the products of his creativity are shabbier than they really are. It could be that he is just more realistic. In any case, this week Matt’s creativity has led to a product that even he deems good. He is starting up a web-based business and has been working very hard to launch the web site. When he launches it next week, I’ll tell you more. Besides slaving over the computer, Matt spent some time digging in the dirt, studying, and playing with the girls. He took Genevieve out for the first time, leaving me at home without her, for the first time. They went to town for a few things and then driving, so she would nap. They ended up at the beach, playing around a little bit before coming home.
I made it to the beach with the girls again this week. It’s a nice time of year for the beach, not cold and not too hot yet. I met two friends and their sons at the park we love, where you can swim in the river while looking at the ocean. Jacinta played with Nickolas and Jack as if she were two, before she started thinking that being a girl means playing with girls only, if there is a choice. They ran back and forth in the water, dug holes, swam their rubber fish around and just played, free and happy to be in the fresh, salty air. Genevieve romped in the sand, crawled in the shallow water, swung her arms around happily and even had a nap. My friends and I had a chance to chat and revel in the bliss surrounding us. Typically in such bliss, I feel a tinge of guilt that Matt is at home working. But that day, I felt as if my job was equal, as if taking Jacinta to the beach showed her that boys too are great playmates, and that lesson was one she needed.
Gender roles are falling upon Jacinta naturally, in addition to what she observes in the males and females around her. For the past few months, Jacinta only recounts events that take place with girlfriends. When you ask Jess about playgroup, she only mentions the girls present, although she played with boys. During French class, without a word she will break through one side of the circle to stand in the middle of the other two girls, rather than remain next to the boys. When doing art projects at home, she will make cards for her girlfriends although her male playmates come to visit more often. Josephine is an older playmate who lives up the road and is such a big girl that she goes to school. Jacinta got to play at her house this week, leaving her to talk about Josephine reading her stories for the rest of the week. Jess wears three bracelets and a necklace at all times and regularly asks if she looks cute. She has even learned to string her own jewellery, and made a necklace all by herself the other day. What a girl, our sweet dolled up girl who wants to wear pink dresses, pink socks and pink shoes after we change out of our grubby garden attire.
Last week I mentioned Jacinta beginning to feel jealous of her little sister. Since we have recognized the reason for her attitude, we have been more able to avoid the outbursts. Matt and I are taking time once in a while to be with our big girl alone, to give her full attention. With more routine in our days, she is more peaceful and content. She even commented a few times that “Genevieve is the funnest little baby in to play with in the world!” They often play together on the rug. Jacinta is learning that if she wants to build a tower for herself, that she must give Evie some interesting toys to keep her occupied. Other times, Jacinta will create a massive cushy pillow land for she and her sister to play inside and laugh together. Often, the girls and I cuddle up on the pillows and read stories after lunch. It is the natural point in the day when one may desire a nap. As we read my eyelids always begin to fall. Jacinta eventually convinces me to finish the story, and we get up to keep going with no break in the day. But today, she left Genevieve and I to sleep. This was a first. After perhaps an hour of building with blocks, rolling trains around the house on her own, she came to the bedroom and kindly requested, “Mommy…wake up.” In deep sleep, I rolled over and asked, “Why?” She replied, “I want to play.” I then realized the gift she had just given me and I jumped up to celebrate the rejuvenation.
Wishing you whatever type of rejuvenation you need this week. All I needed was a nap, and it finally came. Take care.
Peace,
Shana
The garden routine, ahh, sweet routine. I do not regret the fact that it took me three years to figure out the need for patterns. For now, I feel liberated rather than feeling trapped by the routine. Our first activity each day after breakfast is a romp in the gardens. I go down with no major projects in mind, just pottering, being present and doing little jobs. By 7:30 we are dressed in grubby garden clothes. Just as Evie is getting fussy, Matt straps her onto my back with her sun hat on and rubs some bug lotion on her exposed hands. Usually she’ll fall asleep within five minutes, as Jacinta and I walk down to the garden. If she sees the dirt before she falls asleep, she wiggles until I let her down to romp in the dirt. Otherwise, she’ll nap for twenty minutes or so on my back. On the way down Jacinta asks, “Which garden we are going to today?” The orchard is much more fun for playing, but the terrace garden has more strawberries to eat and fennel plants, her newest garden food. The orchard has good hiding spots and hundreds of borage flowers to eat. It also has the shed, the tools and chairs in which we like to sit and tell stories.
Jacinta’s latest addition to garden play is storytelling, while I’m either feeding Genevieve or sitting down doing something brainless like weeding. “Mommy, can you tell me a story?” I am learning to spin tales, but I like a bit of direction so I ask her who she wants in the story. Yesterday it was a cow and a pig, today it was two little girls and a mommy. Later on it was two dogs and two cats, little ones, of course. I wasn’t so confident at first, but with a little practice and the knowledge that your child loves you no matter what, I’ve gotten better. After reading hundreds of children’s books to her, I have come to an understanding of what makes up a story. Given the characters, I begin making up funny details about each one while I try to come up with a plot. The plot is the hardest part, especially while I’m waffling on about each character. Eventually a butterfly flies by and gives me an idea. My favourite story this week was the butterfly who had tasted all different colored flowers that day, but really wanted some pink flowers. She asked another butterfly, then a bumblebee, then of course, the third passer-by knew where to find pink flowers. So the bird lead her to the pink flowers, she indulged and could finally go to sleep after a long day. Whether I succeed or fail to come up with a plot, Jacinta smiles and giggles gratefully after each one. She never fails to ask for, “another one, please?”
Today she sat on a stool in the middle of the newly grown clover field, under the teepee playing with the chimes while I weeded out hundreds of tomato plants, grass shoots, and bindies (burr-like ground cover). She joins in when she feels the urge, and wanders happily now. One fun task we did together this week was seedling work. While I transplanted green pepper plants and weeded, she tipped out all of my failed seedling plants. First she whacked out the dirt, then took out the popsicle stick which said what seed was planted, wiped the stick off and put it in a pile, then stacked the empty pot into a tall tower. After each pot she’d ask, “How many pots are there now?” After forty pots, she felt very accomplished, as she should have.
We all take pride in our work. This week my pride came from a few different places. First off, my bread dough squeaks now! I began making my own bread about five years ago. It has been a long learning process, but I’ve got the touch now. The key seems to be adding flour based on feel rather than the suggested quantity. I know the feel now, I can feel it rising as I knead. The dough is alive, so warm and responsive. Secondly, French class went really well this week. The children all had fun and no one got hurt or too tired. I take that back, at the beginning Jacinta tripped and fell. As she hugged me loudly sobbing, “I hurt my vagina,” the five other innocent little children silently stared without a snicker. They are so sweet and young. The class went well because we spent half the time inside playing games and singing songs. The other half we ran, flew, jumped, swam and sang up and down the hill, finishing with games in the orchard where it is relatively safe. Teaching my daughter’s friends is a new thing. I’m finding the key is to just play with them, while still exercising authority, and making my ability to speak French out to be a treasure they wish to hold.
Genevieve’s pride is all over her face when she beats me to the dirty shoe and gets it in her mouth. When I quickly snatch it away, she doesn’t cry, just moves on to the next item of desire. The dogs food dishes are another dream, shiny silver, oh yes. She will crawl the same five steps over and over. When I pull her little legs back and she slides on her belly, she is not deterred, nor frustrated. Thirty times, that’s endurance in my book. She loves crawling out of our door into Mary and Keith’s lounge room. When she spots Keith, she pants like a puppy and powers along at full speed. When she gets out to her Pop, there’s pure pride on her face. She pulls at his leg and gets swooped up to play with the dangling spoon wind chimes and the cow that plays a lullaby. She knows how to get what she wants now. I suppose that’s what life is about: figuring out how to get what you want without damaging the earth or its inhabitants along the way. So far Genevieve is doing well in that respect.
Although he sarcastically comes off full of pride, Matt will not often openly admit feeling proud of his work. He may enjoy doing many things, but never thinks any of it is all that good. As you probably know, we are very different species. I think most things that I do are better than they really are, whereas he thinks the products of his creativity are shabbier than they really are. It could be that he is just more realistic. In any case, this week Matt’s creativity has led to a product that even he deems good. He is starting up a web-based business and has been working very hard to launch the web site. When he launches it next week, I’ll tell you more. Besides slaving over the computer, Matt spent some time digging in the dirt, studying, and playing with the girls. He took Genevieve out for the first time, leaving me at home without her, for the first time. They went to town for a few things and then driving, so she would nap. They ended up at the beach, playing around a little bit before coming home.
I made it to the beach with the girls again this week. It’s a nice time of year for the beach, not cold and not too hot yet. I met two friends and their sons at the park we love, where you can swim in the river while looking at the ocean. Jacinta played with Nickolas and Jack as if she were two, before she started thinking that being a girl means playing with girls only, if there is a choice. They ran back and forth in the water, dug holes, swam their rubber fish around and just played, free and happy to be in the fresh, salty air. Genevieve romped in the sand, crawled in the shallow water, swung her arms around happily and even had a nap. My friends and I had a chance to chat and revel in the bliss surrounding us. Typically in such bliss, I feel a tinge of guilt that Matt is at home working. But that day, I felt as if my job was equal, as if taking Jacinta to the beach showed her that boys too are great playmates, and that lesson was one she needed.
Gender roles are falling upon Jacinta naturally, in addition to what she observes in the males and females around her. For the past few months, Jacinta only recounts events that take place with girlfriends. When you ask Jess about playgroup, she only mentions the girls present, although she played with boys. During French class, without a word she will break through one side of the circle to stand in the middle of the other two girls, rather than remain next to the boys. When doing art projects at home, she will make cards for her girlfriends although her male playmates come to visit more often. Josephine is an older playmate who lives up the road and is such a big girl that she goes to school. Jacinta got to play at her house this week, leaving her to talk about Josephine reading her stories for the rest of the week. Jess wears three bracelets and a necklace at all times and regularly asks if she looks cute. She has even learned to string her own jewellery, and made a necklace all by herself the other day. What a girl, our sweet dolled up girl who wants to wear pink dresses, pink socks and pink shoes after we change out of our grubby garden attire.
Last week I mentioned Jacinta beginning to feel jealous of her little sister. Since we have recognized the reason for her attitude, we have been more able to avoid the outbursts. Matt and I are taking time once in a while to be with our big girl alone, to give her full attention. With more routine in our days, she is more peaceful and content. She even commented a few times that “Genevieve is the funnest little baby in to play with in the world!” They often play together on the rug. Jacinta is learning that if she wants to build a tower for herself, that she must give Evie some interesting toys to keep her occupied. Other times, Jacinta will create a massive cushy pillow land for she and her sister to play inside and laugh together. Often, the girls and I cuddle up on the pillows and read stories after lunch. It is the natural point in the day when one may desire a nap. As we read my eyelids always begin to fall. Jacinta eventually convinces me to finish the story, and we get up to keep going with no break in the day. But today, she left Genevieve and I to sleep. This was a first. After perhaps an hour of building with blocks, rolling trains around the house on her own, she came to the bedroom and kindly requested, “Mommy…wake up.” In deep sleep, I rolled over and asked, “Why?” She replied, “I want to play.” I then realized the gift she had just given me and I jumped up to celebrate the rejuvenation.
Wishing you whatever type of rejuvenation you need this week. All I needed was a nap, and it finally came. Take care.
Peace,
Shana
posted by Matt & Shana & Jacinta & Genevieve Henry at
10:41 PM
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