The cup and the playdough necklace
Hi there loved ones. It has been an eventful week, full of newness. As you will have notice, I have become less and less aware of all things political and worldly as time goes by out here in the country. My eventfulness is totally ignorant of Iraq, Israel and Palestine, the United States, wars all over the world, and elections in both the US and Australia. Vaguely, I know that both of these elections are near and very important. Australia’s new prime minister will have to be elected by the end of this year. I’ll dare to guess that the numbers of dead Iraqis, Americans and others involved continue to grow as the war of “liberation” drags on. I know that wars worldwide continue as people struggle for power or just to survive, thinking that destroying the “others” might give them a better life, or keep them alive for just a few more years. I know that many millions, maybe even billions of children and adults will go to bed very hungry tonight. Many others will go to bed sad, lonely, defeated, hopeless, angry, or in pain. I know the earth is deteriorating faster than it has before. Is the earth sad? Can she feel pain? Who can know?
These depressing facts used to dominate my thoughts and actions. They cloaked me in guilt, constantly. How could I be born into such wealth and joy, when so many others were born into war, hunger and poverty? My mom made me a very optimistic little girl, luckily. So I could go on, even with this guilty conscience, quite happily. Although I wondered how everyone else could live so guilt free knowing about all of the misery our “economic freedom” was costing the earth, the poorer majority of humans, and the other animals. I questioned parents who dropped out of political life and surrendered to complete consumer culture for the sake of their children. “What an example,” I thought, “no wonder children have so little interest in political, social and environmental issues.” I couldn’t understand how people could just allow the war on Afghanistan and Iraq to happen in our name, having so little real evidence to justify the violence and risk.
Well, here I am folks, just a few years older with the understanding of how we can let it all happen. We take it in, we file it away in our brains, our souls, and adjust our lives accordingly. We have perhaps learned that standing in line at a protest isn’t going to stop a war. Or perhaps that dwelling on all the world’s nastiness doesn’t make for good dinner conversation with your three year old. Hanging around with small children who ask “why” every third word doesn’t leave much time to talk about how to stop a war, especially when you don’t want them knowing about war, murder, hate or real fear just yet. I’m one who has to learn by my own mistakes, so standing out in the cold New York streets in February to “stop the war” was worth it, a few years ago. Of course it didn’t change US policy, but taught me that smaller actions might be more effective, for me at least.
Our eventful week all took place right here in one little town. The guilt and judgement I used to feel has been transformed into love and small community focus. Am I stopping a war, feeding the hungry, or helping out sad and lonely people? No. I used to feel their pain so directly that I would refuse myself luxuries on their behalf and resent others living in luxury for this reason. My Senegalese friend Khady wisely informed me that my deprivation isn’t making anyone in pain feel any better. Those of us that make the choice to live simply might seem a bit silly or even pretentious to those who are forced to live simply. I still enjoy life without too much luxury but in letting go of the guilt I have also released a lot of judgement which makes me lighter, freer to enjoy people and things.
We all do what we can: this is something I could say before but didn’t really believe. I held myself to an ideal, it was all or nothing. How funny to believe I could do the “all” I idealized! I suppose that’s why I held onto the guilt so tightly. I am honestly satisfied with less than my ideal now, or maybe it’s more that my ideal is changing. It has been a combination of wiser, older men and women over the years that have finally helped me to grow up and stop holding myself and others to some unattainable goal of living completely cruelty free on this earth. As if I know how to do such a thing anyway! We are all trying in our own way: maybe reducing gas consumption, buying local products when they are available, avoiding products from distasteful nations and corporations, growing vegetables, reaching out to people in need, working in schools or with the elderly, recycling, reusing things, feeding the birds, planting trees on roadsides, or meditating on the crickets. The list goes on and on. In learning to appreciate every little effort each of us make, I can stop being such a silent critic of myself and others. The expression “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water,” makes more sense now than ever. Life seems a lot sweeter these days, even with the knowledge of unfathomable suffering. Maybe it comes with turning 30, probably not, but I finally feel like I’m ageing and I really like it.
A good friend from Michigan wrote the other day that “I love this part of my life. I’ve have liked most stages, but this is definitely one of the top!” Well said Carrie. Matt and I have been trying to teach Jacinta that her job as a three year old is to play, have fun, and learn how to be a kind person to the earth, the animals and all people. Our job is to teach her how to be this kind person and to keep on learning how to be kind people to the earth, the animals and all people. It may be through tantrums that this learning takes place, perhaps that’s why this is a necessary stage of life. She was surprised when she heard that we learn from her too. Since then she has been overtly trying to teach me songs and how to do her tricks (jumping off the couch and bed). Genevieve continues to remind me to stop being efficient and just gaze at her beauty and curiosity. I honestly can’t imagine a more joyful time in life than trying to avoid the explanation of how cats make babies to a three year old whilst laughing as your baby grunts at the dinner table trying to poo.
Although I say I’m learning how to stop being efficient to play with my girls, most things we do have a purpose besides pure fun. This week we had great fun playing and getting things done the long slow way. Our couch pillows were too fat so Jess and I opened them up and pulled out half of the stuffing. We made a huge mess. Jacinta was giddy playing in the foam, jumping, dancing and throwing it, but somehow in a controlled fashion. Genevieve did pretty well in not eating too much of it, she was mostly in awe, perhaps that she was actually mobile in such a mess. In the past she would have only been able to watch and wish she could join in but now she can crawl! Eventually I sewed them up. The foam is still stuck in the carpet but it was worth it.
Whenever I cook now, Jacinta asks, “Can I help you cook mom?” What a question. We baked bread, made macadamia butter, granola, salads, quiche, even macadamia crackers. We have a great time creating in the kitchen. Genevieve joins us either on the floor playing with little pots or sitting in her chair chewing on whole apples or carrots. Her little tooth is becoming more prominent. It’s funny how strange it looks, as if she should remain toothless forever. She can actually make a dent in the hard food she is given for teething. If it is just before dinner, she is usually tired, hungry and needs more attention so Matt often jumps in or she rides around on my back.
I have been spending a fair bit of time in the garden with the girls. Usually Evie starts out riding around on my back, then falls asleep after a while. I let her sleep in her stroller while Jacinta and I garden. Inevitably, she wakes up after a very short nap and wants to join us. I have given in, I just put her down in the dirt now. She is in heaven, crawling from interesting texture to texture, touching and tasting. Every few minutes I wipe out her mouth and redirect her away from inedible plants, sharp sticks or ants. Jacinta enjoys the garden if she resigns herself to the fact that we’ll be there for a long time. She likes to munch on borage flowers and celery, and of course the rare strawberry. She used to whine to go back inside for food, or perhaps because I was too task oriented. I am learning to stop and play, and bring snacks, blankets, toys and make a day of it. It is through this discovery that I accomplished so much in the garden this week. We planted carrots, beets, cucumbers, potatoes, cabbage, asparagus, artichokes, pumpkin, watermelons, cantaloupe, basil, zucchini and arugula. We even fed the trees and the plants compost, this is something I usually forget. I expect the poor plants to survive on water alone. This year, I feel like I’m actually taking ownership of my garden and doing the work, rather than waiting for someone else to show up and help me. I went as far as chicken wiring the orchard by lamplight this week, for lack of time in the sunlit hours of the day. It was nice out under the stars.
One day I needed an outing so we packed up a stroller and food for the day. We set off towards the river and the wetlands on our neighbor’s land. This was a day with no goal in mind, just fun. Jacinta packed her cricket set, so on one of our stops we had a game. We talked to the cows, played word games, threw fallen tree buds into the river, rolled down hills, had morning tea, and swatted mosquitoes. Evie watched the cows with wide eyes, rolled around when we stopped, napped, and had a nice time. Being outside, with no confusion as to what she would do next or with whom or what she would play Jacinta was more peaceful than usual. I’m sure that having my complete attention played its part too. She actually fell asleep on the picnic blanket at lunch. I thought she was just gazing at the wind in the trees because she was still swatting mosquitoes, but she had fallen asleep with her knee in her plate. Amazing. She didn’t even deny it when she awoke, just wondered where her food had gone. The following day she almost did the same thing, but Keith came down to visit in the garden so the sleepy energy was lost. Who wouldn’t fall asleep given a full belly and a blanket under a shady tree?
It is spring, so it’s not too hot yet, just dry and windy. We have a nice sprinkler now so watering the gardens is no drama. The dam is fuller than ever so we can water as much as we like. Spring is such an inviting season, bringing you out into the hopeful, blooming air. Bees are buzzing loudly in the flowering trees. But living in a land with snakes and spiders will make any American city girl a bit wary of letting her guard down outside, rightly so. But I have been here almost two years now. I finally feel educated about these dangers. I know what to look for, to listen for and what to do if I spot one of these dangerous creatures. I have seen a brown snake, different varieties of pythons, and finally the red belly black snake. The snakes to worry about are the browns and the red belly black snakes. Before this spring, I’d not seen either on our land, but the less dangerous of the two have found their way into my world, the red belly blacks. Now that Jacinta and I have seen them, we know when to go back up to the house. We could just walk by and leave it alone, but for now we are trying to teach Jacinta to be very wary of any snake. As she grows older, she can just walk away. Strangely enough I actually feel more comfortable now, stronger, knowing how to identify them and avoid them, rather than keeping the mystery locked up and far off in some other place.
I am also more comfortable in my health, the pink eye gone, cold gone. I am a tad bit cold sitting here wide awake at 3am, listening to the rooster crow. I went to bed too early and woke up for Jacinta who had a nightmare and Genevieve who needed some milk. Besides the newness of each day with young children, I am launching into many new projects this week. Just today Matt and I took the girls to our first food co-op potluck and we began planning how we will use our collective buying and growing power to obtain good earth and body friendly food for our families. Tuesday I will fill in for our choir director as she gets through hard times following a nasty car accident. Wednesday I will start teaching Jacinta and five of her friends through games and songs outside, running, playing and singing in French. I am preparing to sell some baked goods at a local market with some of my friends in a few weeks. I feel like I’m tying a link between my old occupations in Michigan and my new life here as a mom in Australia. My brain is enjoying the challenge, it was getting lazy. Leading people besides my two little girls is something I used to enjoy and probably still do. It feels familiar, yet I am at a new place in life now.
We’re all in a new place in life, every day, it seems silly to even mention it. Nothing stands still. We may wish it would, but it doesn’t. Matt had a very different week this week to last. He got calls from a Catholic school in Kempsey three days in a row for substitute teaching, so off he went. On Thursday he drove out to Coffs Harbour to pick up a used fireplace, and overheated in Keith’s truck. Although I wasn’t there, he seemed reasonably peaceful about the whole experience. Someone stopped and gave him water to fix the problem and eventually he was on his way. Luckily, he was not on his way to work. He made a new garden gate for the shed and orchard, a secret hope I had for a while. It’s great when you learn to deal with something difficult and all of the sudden, it becomes easy. After weeks of research and planning, he began building the deck. It will soon be a wrap around veranda with a cellar beneath, I can’t even imagine how nice it will be.
It’s pleasant being in my non-spatial mind, not being able to picture structures from verbal descriptions. Then one day, all of the sudden, he quietly builds something. I rejoice in his creativity and hard work while he rejoices in my work with the girls and with food. We appreciate each other, and have separate roles. I used to refute gender roles, but somehow I have found my way loving the very things women have been doing for ages all around the world. It’s funny how we age. Just yesterday Evie pulled the very cup down off the island, the one I had guessed she was dreaming about. It fell on her head and made her cry. Jacinta made a necklace out of play dough beads the other day at playgroup. She thoughtfully put it on as we prepared to go and check out a preschool and said, “I’m going to wear this necklace, so the kids will think I’m…….cute.” We are all growing.
Have a great week y’all. Have fun growing and enjoy the eventfulness of whatever life interests you.
These depressing facts used to dominate my thoughts and actions. They cloaked me in guilt, constantly. How could I be born into such wealth and joy, when so many others were born into war, hunger and poverty? My mom made me a very optimistic little girl, luckily. So I could go on, even with this guilty conscience, quite happily. Although I wondered how everyone else could live so guilt free knowing about all of the misery our “economic freedom” was costing the earth, the poorer majority of humans, and the other animals. I questioned parents who dropped out of political life and surrendered to complete consumer culture for the sake of their children. “What an example,” I thought, “no wonder children have so little interest in political, social and environmental issues.” I couldn’t understand how people could just allow the war on Afghanistan and Iraq to happen in our name, having so little real evidence to justify the violence and risk.
Well, here I am folks, just a few years older with the understanding of how we can let it all happen. We take it in, we file it away in our brains, our souls, and adjust our lives accordingly. We have perhaps learned that standing in line at a protest isn’t going to stop a war. Or perhaps that dwelling on all the world’s nastiness doesn’t make for good dinner conversation with your three year old. Hanging around with small children who ask “why” every third word doesn’t leave much time to talk about how to stop a war, especially when you don’t want them knowing about war, murder, hate or real fear just yet. I’m one who has to learn by my own mistakes, so standing out in the cold New York streets in February to “stop the war” was worth it, a few years ago. Of course it didn’t change US policy, but taught me that smaller actions might be more effective, for me at least.
Our eventful week all took place right here in one little town. The guilt and judgement I used to feel has been transformed into love and small community focus. Am I stopping a war, feeding the hungry, or helping out sad and lonely people? No. I used to feel their pain so directly that I would refuse myself luxuries on their behalf and resent others living in luxury for this reason. My Senegalese friend Khady wisely informed me that my deprivation isn’t making anyone in pain feel any better. Those of us that make the choice to live simply might seem a bit silly or even pretentious to those who are forced to live simply. I still enjoy life without too much luxury but in letting go of the guilt I have also released a lot of judgement which makes me lighter, freer to enjoy people and things.
We all do what we can: this is something I could say before but didn’t really believe. I held myself to an ideal, it was all or nothing. How funny to believe I could do the “all” I idealized! I suppose that’s why I held onto the guilt so tightly. I am honestly satisfied with less than my ideal now, or maybe it’s more that my ideal is changing. It has been a combination of wiser, older men and women over the years that have finally helped me to grow up and stop holding myself and others to some unattainable goal of living completely cruelty free on this earth. As if I know how to do such a thing anyway! We are all trying in our own way: maybe reducing gas consumption, buying local products when they are available, avoiding products from distasteful nations and corporations, growing vegetables, reaching out to people in need, working in schools or with the elderly, recycling, reusing things, feeding the birds, planting trees on roadsides, or meditating on the crickets. The list goes on and on. In learning to appreciate every little effort each of us make, I can stop being such a silent critic of myself and others. The expression “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water,” makes more sense now than ever. Life seems a lot sweeter these days, even with the knowledge of unfathomable suffering. Maybe it comes with turning 30, probably not, but I finally feel like I’m ageing and I really like it.
A good friend from Michigan wrote the other day that “I love this part of my life. I’ve have liked most stages, but this is definitely one of the top!” Well said Carrie. Matt and I have been trying to teach Jacinta that her job as a three year old is to play, have fun, and learn how to be a kind person to the earth, the animals and all people. Our job is to teach her how to be this kind person and to keep on learning how to be kind people to the earth, the animals and all people. It may be through tantrums that this learning takes place, perhaps that’s why this is a necessary stage of life. She was surprised when she heard that we learn from her too. Since then she has been overtly trying to teach me songs and how to do her tricks (jumping off the couch and bed). Genevieve continues to remind me to stop being efficient and just gaze at her beauty and curiosity. I honestly can’t imagine a more joyful time in life than trying to avoid the explanation of how cats make babies to a three year old whilst laughing as your baby grunts at the dinner table trying to poo.
Although I say I’m learning how to stop being efficient to play with my girls, most things we do have a purpose besides pure fun. This week we had great fun playing and getting things done the long slow way. Our couch pillows were too fat so Jess and I opened them up and pulled out half of the stuffing. We made a huge mess. Jacinta was giddy playing in the foam, jumping, dancing and throwing it, but somehow in a controlled fashion. Genevieve did pretty well in not eating too much of it, she was mostly in awe, perhaps that she was actually mobile in such a mess. In the past she would have only been able to watch and wish she could join in but now she can crawl! Eventually I sewed them up. The foam is still stuck in the carpet but it was worth it.
Whenever I cook now, Jacinta asks, “Can I help you cook mom?” What a question. We baked bread, made macadamia butter, granola, salads, quiche, even macadamia crackers. We have a great time creating in the kitchen. Genevieve joins us either on the floor playing with little pots or sitting in her chair chewing on whole apples or carrots. Her little tooth is becoming more prominent. It’s funny how strange it looks, as if she should remain toothless forever. She can actually make a dent in the hard food she is given for teething. If it is just before dinner, she is usually tired, hungry and needs more attention so Matt often jumps in or she rides around on my back.
I have been spending a fair bit of time in the garden with the girls. Usually Evie starts out riding around on my back, then falls asleep after a while. I let her sleep in her stroller while Jacinta and I garden. Inevitably, she wakes up after a very short nap and wants to join us. I have given in, I just put her down in the dirt now. She is in heaven, crawling from interesting texture to texture, touching and tasting. Every few minutes I wipe out her mouth and redirect her away from inedible plants, sharp sticks or ants. Jacinta enjoys the garden if she resigns herself to the fact that we’ll be there for a long time. She likes to munch on borage flowers and celery, and of course the rare strawberry. She used to whine to go back inside for food, or perhaps because I was too task oriented. I am learning to stop and play, and bring snacks, blankets, toys and make a day of it. It is through this discovery that I accomplished so much in the garden this week. We planted carrots, beets, cucumbers, potatoes, cabbage, asparagus, artichokes, pumpkin, watermelons, cantaloupe, basil, zucchini and arugula. We even fed the trees and the plants compost, this is something I usually forget. I expect the poor plants to survive on water alone. This year, I feel like I’m actually taking ownership of my garden and doing the work, rather than waiting for someone else to show up and help me. I went as far as chicken wiring the orchard by lamplight this week, for lack of time in the sunlit hours of the day. It was nice out under the stars.
One day I needed an outing so we packed up a stroller and food for the day. We set off towards the river and the wetlands on our neighbor’s land. This was a day with no goal in mind, just fun. Jacinta packed her cricket set, so on one of our stops we had a game. We talked to the cows, played word games, threw fallen tree buds into the river, rolled down hills, had morning tea, and swatted mosquitoes. Evie watched the cows with wide eyes, rolled around when we stopped, napped, and had a nice time. Being outside, with no confusion as to what she would do next or with whom or what she would play Jacinta was more peaceful than usual. I’m sure that having my complete attention played its part too. She actually fell asleep on the picnic blanket at lunch. I thought she was just gazing at the wind in the trees because she was still swatting mosquitoes, but she had fallen asleep with her knee in her plate. Amazing. She didn’t even deny it when she awoke, just wondered where her food had gone. The following day she almost did the same thing, but Keith came down to visit in the garden so the sleepy energy was lost. Who wouldn’t fall asleep given a full belly and a blanket under a shady tree?
It is spring, so it’s not too hot yet, just dry and windy. We have a nice sprinkler now so watering the gardens is no drama. The dam is fuller than ever so we can water as much as we like. Spring is such an inviting season, bringing you out into the hopeful, blooming air. Bees are buzzing loudly in the flowering trees. But living in a land with snakes and spiders will make any American city girl a bit wary of letting her guard down outside, rightly so. But I have been here almost two years now. I finally feel educated about these dangers. I know what to look for, to listen for and what to do if I spot one of these dangerous creatures. I have seen a brown snake, different varieties of pythons, and finally the red belly black snake. The snakes to worry about are the browns and the red belly black snakes. Before this spring, I’d not seen either on our land, but the less dangerous of the two have found their way into my world, the red belly blacks. Now that Jacinta and I have seen them, we know when to go back up to the house. We could just walk by and leave it alone, but for now we are trying to teach Jacinta to be very wary of any snake. As she grows older, she can just walk away. Strangely enough I actually feel more comfortable now, stronger, knowing how to identify them and avoid them, rather than keeping the mystery locked up and far off in some other place.
I am also more comfortable in my health, the pink eye gone, cold gone. I am a tad bit cold sitting here wide awake at 3am, listening to the rooster crow. I went to bed too early and woke up for Jacinta who had a nightmare and Genevieve who needed some milk. Besides the newness of each day with young children, I am launching into many new projects this week. Just today Matt and I took the girls to our first food co-op potluck and we began planning how we will use our collective buying and growing power to obtain good earth and body friendly food for our families. Tuesday I will fill in for our choir director as she gets through hard times following a nasty car accident. Wednesday I will start teaching Jacinta and five of her friends through games and songs outside, running, playing and singing in French. I am preparing to sell some baked goods at a local market with some of my friends in a few weeks. I feel like I’m tying a link between my old occupations in Michigan and my new life here as a mom in Australia. My brain is enjoying the challenge, it was getting lazy. Leading people besides my two little girls is something I used to enjoy and probably still do. It feels familiar, yet I am at a new place in life now.
We’re all in a new place in life, every day, it seems silly to even mention it. Nothing stands still. We may wish it would, but it doesn’t. Matt had a very different week this week to last. He got calls from a Catholic school in Kempsey three days in a row for substitute teaching, so off he went. On Thursday he drove out to Coffs Harbour to pick up a used fireplace, and overheated in Keith’s truck. Although I wasn’t there, he seemed reasonably peaceful about the whole experience. Someone stopped and gave him water to fix the problem and eventually he was on his way. Luckily, he was not on his way to work. He made a new garden gate for the shed and orchard, a secret hope I had for a while. It’s great when you learn to deal with something difficult and all of the sudden, it becomes easy. After weeks of research and planning, he began building the deck. It will soon be a wrap around veranda with a cellar beneath, I can’t even imagine how nice it will be.
It’s pleasant being in my non-spatial mind, not being able to picture structures from verbal descriptions. Then one day, all of the sudden, he quietly builds something. I rejoice in his creativity and hard work while he rejoices in my work with the girls and with food. We appreciate each other, and have separate roles. I used to refute gender roles, but somehow I have found my way loving the very things women have been doing for ages all around the world. It’s funny how we age. Just yesterday Evie pulled the very cup down off the island, the one I had guessed she was dreaming about. It fell on her head and made her cry. Jacinta made a necklace out of play dough beads the other day at playgroup. She thoughtfully put it on as we prepared to go and check out a preschool and said, “I’m going to wear this necklace, so the kids will think I’m…….cute.” We are all growing.
Have a great week y’all. Have fun growing and enjoy the eventfulness of whatever life interests you.
posted by Matt & Shana & Jacinta & Genevieve Henry at
4:13 AM
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