Back In the Garden

Good evening loved ones. I am really starting to feel the change of seasons, the unnatural jump from the end of summer in America to the beginning of spring in Australia. I thought it would be harder to deny my soul's desire to bundle up in the autumn after six months of solid summer. It turns out that two weeks of morning and night chill has sufficed. Matt and I laugh/whine at the insanity of sleeping under the weight of seven blankets. Throughout the night we silently battle for our due share of the blankets. We are not laughing then, it is cold. Every few hours we wake either for Evie or to throw Jacinta's covers back on her, trying once again to trap her in the warmth. The nights and mornings are still chilly but the days are already warm enough to work in shorts and T-shirts. I have been quickly enticed by the lovely fertility in the spring air. The week of solid rain sprung many plants and trees into action, leaving us with a completely full dam, fruit trees covered in new growth and little self sowed seedlings popping up everywhere. Shame on me for complaining that I'd have to skip winter!

I've spent the week jumping back into the activities I love here. On Tuesday I took Jacinta and Genevieve to choir. Not only was it awesome to sing African, Gospel, and German songs again, but to share my little girls with my singing buddies again. Jacinta had not come to choir for over six months. She finally decided to come along even though it began at her bed time. I psyched her up for it all day and it worked. Typically she sits on the floor and plays, but this time after a few minutes of vocal exercises, she joined in. She watched our mouths carefully and imitated the sounds exactly, most often on key. Then, all of the sudden something inside her told her that she should join the circle. It was a big move, you could see it on her face. This was no small endeavour. She stood up, budged her way into the circle and quickly grabbed my hand. She held on and sang loudly, "ee-oh ee-oh ee-oh ee-oh." When we began singing real songs with words she didn't know, she kept on singing. She just stared at Crystal's mouth, imitated the movements and sang the alto part along with us. Of course this brought tears to my eyes. All the while, Genevieve was "flying" on the ground, staring in awe at all of the beautiful faces around her, soaking up the rhythm and their beautiful voices. To top it off, there was a lunar eclipse that night. We all went out to check on the moon after every other song. It was gorgeous. Jacinta slammed her finger in the door on her way back in one time. Her fatigue made her scream unfortunately louder than the pain alone warranted, but that was a small price to pay for a great night.

Another first was returning to playgroup. I decided to take the double stroller into town, knowing it would be one of the last weeks before the heat made this impossible.

It was nice to walk this path again. We pass such beautiful land and riverside en route to town. Driving is nice, but too fast. You miss out on the feel of the area. Riding a bike is nice too, but impossible with two children and one lone adult. Walking is slow, lovely and allows for time to smell and notice wildlife: birds, lizards, butterflies, different types of trees and wildflowers. The cows stare at you from the moment you enter their vision until you exit. Matt and I were remarking that bike rides and stroller rides are some of the only occasions that Jacinta is alert, yet silent. These are moments to treasure these days. Once we made it to playgroup, a little late of course, we had a lovely time. Jacinta hung close for a while, observing the situation before jumping back into the chaos. She watched the other children play, while I excitedly caught up with friends and passed Evie around. She played alone for a while: pushing around dollies in prams and going down the slide. Eventually Jacinta joined the children playing in the sandpit and stayed there for the last hour. She was so involved she failed to notice the fruit salad emerging from the kitchen. This was a first! Genevieve brought me down to a new level. No longer at the coffee and tea table surrounded by sweets for morning tea with the other mothers, I am on the ground playing with my baby and the few other mums of babies that age. It's nice to see a new side of playgroup, although I miss the easy access to food! The return trip was a bit harder going uphill with this massively heavy double stroller, but Genevieve slept the whole way. For the beauty and the silence, it was certainly worth the effort.

The garden is another place that lights up my life with peace and beauty. It is an easy season for gardening, the temperature is not too high yet and the sun's position allows more shade to cover the gardens. Genevieve is now happy rolling on a blanket in the grass, although she prefers belly scooting off of the blanket to eat dirt, leaves, and sticks. Jacinta has been away long enough that she can once again enjoy gardening as a novelty. She can plant seeds, use her tools, and hunt for edibles. It is almost strawberry season. The plants have flowered and produced a few unripe white strawberries. White or red, Jacinta is impatient and needs garden food to keep her interested so she begs to please eat the white ones. After explaining what will happen if we wait, I give in and allow her to eat a few white ones. She is eating blue borage flowers now, and will find a random carrot now and then. In weeding this week I found many random volunteer plants. Baby potatoes were among her favourite finds. For me, it was the lettuce seeds that found a way amidst thick grass to grow into significant lettuce seedlings. I often leave plants to flower, dry up and drop their seeds right where they have grown. It saves the effort of digging the plants up, drying the seed, collecting, storing and eventually planting the seeds. It doesn't always work but when it does, you feel the bounty of Mother Nature even stronger because you conserved your own energy by letting the earth do its 'thang.'

The volunteer plants are wonderful, but some intentional planting is necessary if you want any say in what you eat. If I were here in winter, I would have prepared the ground and picked out the seeds I wanted to sow. I would be planting right now, but alas, I was not here. So now is the time to do it all: sort through my seeds, weed and feed two massive gardens, plant and water. It sounds like a lot for one woman with two little girls and a house to keep up. Matt doesn't require much, but the girls do. I aim to spend about an hour a day in the garden. This is far from sufficient. Add Keith to the equation and the problem is almost solved. Keith was here all winter composting, caring for the trees, converting the "House Garden" which is out Mary's bedroom window into a diverse, accessible, productive veggie garden, and dreaming up permaculture schemes for the bigger gardens. Not wanting to do too much without me, he waited for my return to discuss the plans for action in these gardens. Once the plan was made, he has been out there each morning by 6am working to prepare these gardens for planting. I successfully made it out each day for about an hour, sometimes with the girls and sometimes alone. Together we have almost finished the preparations. I've gone through my massive seed collection and am already dreaming of watermelon and corn. Just yesterday I began creating yet another garden outside our bedroom window, an herb garden. It had to be done, I can't go far for parsley when I'm cooking or I won't use it. Now that we have finished building we can beautify the outside.

Matt is beautifying also, by painting the house to match Mary and Keith's house. He listens to podcasts and music on the Ipod while painting and seems to enjoy himself. He is still doing little odd jobs on the exterior of the house, corners, gutters and the like. There is more painting to be done but so far, it looks great, as if our section has always been here. The cupboards he built last week were finally ready to be inhabited. Mary and Keith searched for basket drawers for the shelves and after a tiring day of looking in malls and superstores, they ended up finding them in the Macksville dollar shop. Moving into the drawers and cupboards freed up a lot of space in the kitchen and just finished it off. It has made me want to cook all of the time to celebrate my awesome kitchen. In addition to his manual labour, Matt is cultivating his other side through reading, writing and playing Jacinta to sleep at night with his mandolin. He is also contemplating enrolment in a counselling course and playing professional cricket. Just kidding on the latter. Nonetheless, there is never a dull moment.

As I fall more in love with my kitchen and gardens, Jacinta too, is growing more comfortable with her surroundings. Daisy, the goat, went to another farm where she would have more space to roam and trees to eat and less children to butt. Now Jacinta can go outside by herself and play in her cubby house without fear of the goat. I too, can hang the laundry and let Genevieve roll without the anxiety of the goat. It is quite a relief. We had a few friends drop in for visits this week. They didn't need to look out for Daisy's horns either. Nickolas didn't believe Jacinta when she said Daisy had gone, but once Matt confirmed her absence they were off to the cubby house to make muffins out of sand. Now I can send the whiny begging little girl Jacinta turns into before meals outside to make me dinner in the sand, and she does!

In her meal preparation out in the sand, Jacinta always thinks of her little sister. "Mom! Can you bring Evie out here? I've smashed up her muffins for her! They are ready now!" Jess has learned to use the baby food grinder and enjoys smashing up Evie's dinner. This week it was carrots, rice, oats, a little banana, lentils, some pinto beans, and pumpkin. Typically she spits out as much as she eats and it is a messy endeavour. On a lucky night she'll stay in her chair for the entire meal, playing with hard apples and carrots while taking a few spoonfuls. But sometimes she lasts five minutes and we have to quickly remove the messy child and clean her up for a nap. Tonight we were at some friends' house for dinner and she ate pumpkin like it was going out of style. She didn't spit out any, patiently waited for more, ate everything she was given, and stayed clean. What changed? We have no idea, but were thankful. Hopefully her belly full of pumpkin will keep her sleeping longer tonight.

After dinner at the Miles' house, Matt and Craig went out and scooped up two huge sleepy black hens and put them in boxes. They were a gift, so that we might have more eggs to eat. In the empty seat next to the girls, they slid around in their boxes on the curvy, hilly drive home. Once home, we placed them on the roost with the other 15 chickens, putting them on the bottom rung of the roost. It will be interesting when they all wake up tomorrow morning.

Amidst all of this excitement and new life, there is inevitably sadness somewhere in our lives. I'm sure you have noticed that I usually stay pretty positive in this journal, seeming to live an extraordinarily painless life. This is mostly true, I am pretty lucky, but of course I keep some things to myself. I share only what might be interesting and/or fun for one or more of you to read. I tend to focus on the events that teach me something, make me smile or ponder. Although it is not our pain directly, we feel the pain in our family and friends' lives and it changes our lives too.

Our friend Jay, who had his life drastically changed over three years ago by a blood clot in his brain, was one of the impetuses to get us off of our tails and follow our dream to the country in Australia. He was healing and learning to live with decreased capacity. A few weeks ago he had another cyst removed from his brain, which started his progress all over again. A student of mine, a boy I taught French, Algebra, Choir, African Geography and for whom I cooked, well, he turned into an amazing man. I knew him only as a boy, but watched him grow for four years and loved him. His name is Miles and he has just passed away, just as the rest of his old classmates prepare to head off to college. He loved life, loved learning, sharing, caring, and celebrating. I didn't have the chance to spend much time with him as his body slowly deteriorated from cancer. He was loved by many, all of whom were incredibly inspired by him. He wrote a Blog that inspired thousands with his zest for life, and became well known in the media. To me, he was "Massamba," the only boy in French class who wasn't satisfied with a French name but wanted something "more interesting." When I named him after my Senegalese host brother for his persistence and longing to know, he was finally satisfied. No matter how much good he has done and will continue to do through his legacy for the cause of pediatric cancer, it is just sad. It is terribly sad to know that his body is underground and not out celebrating his victory against all odds and inspiring people.

I look at the new little plants popping out of the ground and the little chicks peeping outside Jacinta's window. I try to think of the circle of life and how everything must die. It all makes sense, yes. But it's terrible that Jay lost what he was to what seemed like a massive headache. It's terrible that Miles' body is gone. It's terrible that my Senegalese friend Khady lost her young sister to cancer because she couldn't afford good medical treatment. It's terrible that people die from simple illnesses like fevers in poor countries. Amidst the sadness, their spirits all live on inspiring us to love each other more while we are still here on this earth. They just might inspire us to work for justice, a healthier environment and better medical care worldwide. But they might just make us cry, mourn, and lose hope for a while. And that's okay too, not all tragedy has to have an upside.

For now I suppose I'll just smile at the buds on the trees and cry for the loss of Miles Levin. I'm sure there are a million little sayings about sorrow and joy going hand in hand, but I'm not good at quoting, that's Matt's department.

Wishing you all a good week, filled with more joy than sorrow.

Peace,

Shana