Familiar faces and smells

Good evening :) Another week has passed and I write to you from yet another new location. I am in Almont, Michigan. It is 9pm and I can still see the sun setting out my window. The girls are sleeping sweetly nearby and I still see their faces by the light of the sun. Jess asked before she fell asleep, “Mommy, why is there no white light when I go to sleep in Australia?” I told her that the sun shined on each place around the world as long as it could, and that summer sun shined later than winter sun. She yawned, and stayed up for another story read by Matt.

In Wisconsin, Illinois and Indiana the sun goes to bed a bit earlier, but Michigan is right on the edge of the Eastern time zone. Monday morning we continued or journey around Lake Michigan and made it to my dad’s house in Mokena, Illinois. It was great to see my dad and Barb, but even greater to see the joy on their faces in meeting Genevieve for the first time and seeing how Jacinta had grown. We spent hours outside playing in their beautiful yard, picking strawberries, jumping from one stepping stone to another, watching bunnies and birdies, napping, swinging and making leaf soup. Matt and dad played with recording equipment and actually got some real work done. One highlight was going to Jeffrey’s baseball game. Jeff is my step brother, he is 25 years old and autistic. We have always heard about all of his athletic activities and how happy belonging to a team makes him, but this was the first time we were able to actually witness it. After two short nights we were on our way.

Wednesday morning we drove an hour to my mom’s house in Valparaiso, Indiana. Seeing my mom after a very important year (birth for me and dodging cervical cancer for her) of missing her was overwhelming. It was intensified by the emotion I knew she felt for meeting my newest daughter and seeing my big girl after a year of absence. We’re the young couple off following our dreams. I can’t imagine how hard it will be to play the part of the mom staying at home, hoping my little girl is happy. Anyway, our two short days together were awesome. Jess and mom spent hours stamping cards together. Jess is very selective on whom she lets in to her “circle of trust” these days and my mom is in. I sit back and cross my fingers hoping that she will not cling to me but allow others who love her in. I rejoiced with every story mom read to Jess. I then cringed as Jacinta stubbornly treated her the same way I treated her during piano lessons. We made birthday cake and celebrated Jacinta’s big day once more before the real thing. My mom played the piano for the girls and I, this is one of the most important events in my visits home. We went to the zoo and then had the windiest picnic I’ve ever experienced on Lake Michigan. We played in the sandbox, played cards and dominoes, oohed and ahhed over Genevieve, and watched her roll over and over.

Evie has mastered the technique and will no longer lie on her back. She instantly rolls over onto her stomach and holds herself up high on her elbows. After a while she drops her head and tries like hell to crawl. Naturally, she can not because she is three months old and has no upper body strength. She draws her knees up under her belly, smashes her face into the floor, gets frustrated and starts to snort and snuff. We roll her back over again and start over. Once she makes it into your arms, she likes to practice standing and stepping, somewhat like she’s doing a jig. Genevieve has also learned to grip objects like hair, fake monkeys and parrots. After months of thinking, “oooh…I like that thing,” she’s now thinking, “I want that thing and I’m gonna get it!” And she grabs it, victory! She seems to have a strong will to move, and to stay awake. I fear her will is so strong she might start crawling unnaturally early. I hope I am wrong!

After a whirlwind visit with my parents, we drove to Detroit. We dropped off our rental car, and were then picked up by our friend Cindy. We had lunch at our favorite Thai restaurant in Ferndale, stopped at the church to say hello, dropped Cindy off and took her van to camp. She and her family have lent it to us for the whole summer, nice aye? I may not be able to drive it if I cannot prove residency and renew my license, such is life. We are now at camp, settled. As a younger woman, I never appreciated “settlement.” I sought constant change, the nomadic life was glorious. I am a mother now, rejoicing to be in one place and not having to pack my bags for a while.

Genevieve couldn’t care less; warm tender arms, warm milk, and a good sleep are all she needs. Jacinta was uprooted, like a strong little seedling plucked out of one garden later transplanted in a different garden. She has withered, needed extra support, cuddles, sunlight and water. She is slowly coming back to herself, almost able to stand strong again. Watching my big girl wither in the wind made me ecstatic to arrive at camp this weekend and wholly embrace the time I have with just my girls. We will be here for two months. I thought I’d be on the phone right away trying to find a way back out to the suburbs to visit my friends, but I have decided to just enjoy sinking back into life at camp with a new position, mom.

It’s amazing walking down the steps of the Lodge (our home for the summer) to the laundry room. It smells exactly like it did eleven years ago when I first came to Skyline and fell in love with Matt within my first week at camp. I have visited this camp many times between now and then during the fall or early spring, but never in the summer. The summertime smells are so particular, although I can not name one flower or tree that adds to this beautiful fragrance. We’ve moved up in the building, no longer do we sleep downstairs in the bunk rooms. We are upstairs in the best room with our own bathroom to share with our two daughters. I no longer do laundry for one teenage girl, but for a family of four. Our clothes are no longer dirt and sweat stained, but soiled by regurgitated milk. There are still exciting young adults sharing our living space. Now rather than being thankful merely for a good chat, I give thanks for all of the extra loving arms to rock and play with Genevieve and for all of the kind souls who answer some of Jacinta’s “why?” questions.

Jacinta is happy to be here. It has been a long voyage, and she has been a trooper. Her cough is almost gone, and we think she has finally adjusted to the time zone. She is baffled as to why we eat in a building outside of our house. She is ecstatic to have a tricycle to stroll around the spacious living room, back veranda, and front patio. Each day we explore another small area of the 156 acres here at camp. Today’s highlights were jumping on a huge pile of sand, playing tether ball, piggy back rides, checking out the ropes course and collecting treasures in her purse. She found a tree with leaves shaped like hearts and picked two, “this one’s for Genevieve and the big one is for me.” She smiles at herself in the mirror and says, “Look how long my hair is now!”

Jess is hesitant to let people in these days. Perhaps she fears we will have to say goodbye in just a few days, or maybe she’s just a normal child. My family and the staff here at camp are very understanding and know that after she realizes we are not leaving just yet, she may recognize their presence. After camp, we will spend more time with my family. We went to church on Saturday night to the Jazz service and caught up with many old friends. Jess fled as if she was about to be thrown up on stage and made to sing and dance. She clung to Cindy and to one woman who she just met at camp, far from her parents who were in the middle of the crowd. A cookie helped her stay with us for a few minutes, but knowing she could go to the nursery and play with toys and one teenage girl she had never met, she fled that crowded room as fast as she could. It was a little sad for all of us, knowing that this little girl, so loved, clothed and held by this church for the first 15 months of her life couldn’t summon the energy to endure the reunion. But, what can you expect of a three year old? We took her away to a new home where her biggest gathering is playgroup and that is her new comfort zone.

Matt has eased right back into life at camp. He has spent the past few days planning with the other program staff, sitting around a table covered in papers and cups of tea.

He finally has the opportunity to vent his half baked ideas to people who can actually do something with the ideas. He has even visited Dunkin Donuts a few times, and found others who esteem this fine establishment as highly as he does. This is camp, without campers.

We are working for one of our best friends here, Chris the camp director. She, being an amazing lady has hired a lot of amazing people with whom we have a lot in common. Visiting the church and so many old friends we love was so comforting. Eating out in our old town was great: Thai food, then Ethiopian food! Oh my oh my! I even had the chance to shop at my old natural food store, this is heaven on earth.

So life thus far is wonderful. We are living in community with awesome people, a short drive away from many people we love, and a hop, skip and a jump away from squirrels, bunnies, deer, hiking trails and a pool. AND there is a kitchen staff who cooks for us! Jess is falling in love with the place, Genevieve was happy the second she walked into all these kid-loving smiley faces, and Matt and I get to celebrate life with our children in a place that’s very existence brought us together. We couldn’t ask for much more.

Hope spring is full of lovely familiar smells and faces for you all too.

Peace,

Shana