Your personal connection to the FIFA World Cup

So, in case you didn't have a reason to care about the FIFA World Cup beginning in a couple of weeks, here's a personal connection you can have, through me, arguably (see below) the best soccer player on the planet.

Here's the argument...

This is Ronaldinho, usually uncontested as the greatest player in the game today; he's from Brazil.

His team is the undebated frontrunner to win the cup.

So Australia (aka the Socceroos) gets to the World Cup Finals for the first time in 32 years, and in the first round, in our group of four, we find ourselves with Japan (ok), Croatia (whatever) and Brazil (oh crap).

Stick with me, here...

This is Lucas Neill. He's a Socceroo. It will be his job to mark Ronaldinho when we play Brazil - a game which we, ranked 44th in the world, will win simply because we are Australians and that is our national purpose - to win in unlikely situations.

I don't have a picture of me playing soccer, because my agents won't let me publish them freely (too valuable). Anyway, one of my first teams was the Wakehurst Public School Senior Soccer Team, in 1983 and 1984. I was in 5th and 6th grade.

In 1983 and 1984, Lucas Neill was in Kindy and 1st grade at... Wakehurst Public School. Obviously, as the budding young soccer player that he was, he looked for heroes. It goes without saying that he found me, and was inspired by my unquestioned brilliance, and decided to dedicate himself to training really hard.

Therefore, when Australia beats Brazil (bet your house and mother on it, it will happen), it will be becasue Lucas here, my protege, will have marked Ronaldinho out of the game, rendering him pitiable and facile in the face of Australian greatness. That certainly means that Lucas, at least temporarily, shall be regarded as the player who bettered the best, and I, the hero of he who betters the best shall be recognized for my footballing prowess, and at last acknowledged as the best proponent of the World Game.

It's a bit hard to swallow, I know, that you know someone of such athletic stature, but search your heart, you know it to be true.

And now you can enjoy Australia's impending surprise victory in the World Cup with a personal connection. Feel free to name-drop.

Footnotes:
There's a small possibility (very remote, however) that since I never knew Lucas Neill when I was at the same school as him, five grades ahead, that he may not have actually admired me in the way that I assume. But that's a stretch....