Buschcronium

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of theheaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named"Bushcronium".Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These 311particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded byvast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.Since Bushcronium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can bedetected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. Aminute amount of Bushcronium causes one reaction to take over 4 days tocomplete when it would normally take less than a second. Bushcronium has anormal half-life of multiples of 4 years, it does not decay, but insteadundergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons anddeputy neutrons exchange places.In fact, Bushcronium's mass will actually increase over time, since eachreorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe thatBushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity inconcentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "CriticalMorass".When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an elementwhich radiates orders of magnitude, more energy, albeit as incoherent noise,since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.